Kermit: [on loudspeaker] Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to
the Habitat for Humanity! Construction is a great business for volunteering.
Hospital is a place for sick patients, kitchen is a place where they cook food
for people at dining, and library is a place where people read and borrow
books.
Kermit [O.S.]: Hi-ho, folks! This is Kermit the Frog here.
I'm the King of the Muppets. We like to get on with our fun activity like
sports, camps, field trips, and fun at amusement parks.
Kermit [O.S.]: Yes, Miss Piggy.
Kermit [O.S.]: All right. I'll call the gang. We're going to
have an emergency meeting.
Beaker: [Meeping]
Kermit: Um. Jennifer would like to make an announcement.
Jennifer.
Kermit: Here’s your microphone.
Kermit: Not so fast, everyone. You must let us pick a
resort.
Kermit: Just a second. [Writes a journal and shows her]
Read.
Kermit: “Pick a resort at California.”
Kermit: It’s a rule.
Kermit: One moment! [Walks out door to backstage] We must
confer. [Closes door]
Kermit: All right, troops. It is for us to choose a field
trip that affords us—
Kermit: Yes, Private Scooter.
Kermit: Whoa, whoa! Take a deep breath, Sly!
Kermit: Okay, let’s analyze the competition. Now what are we
looking at here. We got a housemaid.
Kermit: We chose Disneyland Resort.
Kermit: First we have to volunteer first at the Habitat for
Humanity.
Rizzo: What is volunteering?
Kermit: Lights!
Kermit: [on loudspeaker] Okay volunteers, is everybody
ready?
[Kermit chattering]
Kermit: Oh, that’s going to leave a mark.
Beaker: Aaah! [Falls to the ground]
Kermit: Hmm. Does it feel great to volunteer?
Kermit: Oh, no! NO!
Link Hogthrob: Which vehicle do you want to ride?
Link Hogthrob: Let’s go!
Kermit: Hi-ho Kermit the Frog here. I’m here to volunteer at
McDonalds with Gonzo and the Swedish Chef.
Kermit: I’m back! Wow, you finished the house?
Kermit: Piggy, how are you doing?
Kermit: Good to meet you too. I’m Kermit the Frog.
Kermit: Hi Dr. Teeth.
Kermit: It’s going fine.
Kermit: Good to see you too.
Kermit: Okay, okay, which one of those Muppet members has
ever been to Disneyland Resort before?
Kermit: Oh, no!
Beaker: Meep!
Kermit: [coughs] What?
Beaker: Meep.
Kermit: [Calling at others] Rise and shine, everyone.
Kermit: Everyone downstairs!
Kermit: Run! This way!
Kermit: Run, that way. Outside!
Kermit: You can’t do this! They’re getting the free ticket
to Disney!
Kermit: Hi-ho! How you're doing? Yeah! You know what,
everything's cool, we just have a little situation here. Little internal situation.
Actually my friend just went a little crazy. It happens to everyone. The house
gets to us all. Just went a little cuckoo in the head.
Kermit: Just shush! I will handle this!
Kermit: [Yelps in pain] Would you give a guy a break? Aah!
We're just gonna take my gang back to the house and forget this ever happened.
All right? No harm, no foul.
Kermit: Oh, no, no, no. Hey, it's cool! It's me, Kermit the
Frog...King of the Muppets. Ribbit. Ribbit. [Then he looked at the caged
others] What’s the matter with him?
Kermit: Ow! Ow! [Kermit spin around dizzy and falls but
Minnie and Donald grab him] Wow! I feel really, really weird. Hey! I love you
guys. [Slow motion] I love you so much.
Kermit: [Groans]
Kermit: [Moans] Hey, little help.
Kermit: [looks at tranquilizer dart in his hand]
Oh, man!
Kermit: Where am I?
Kermit: Okay, everyone, listen up. We can get back to
Americus but we got to move fast.
Kermit: [Stummers] They’re getting the FREE TICKET TO
DISNEY!!!
Kermit: Okay, fine! Just what’ll you see what Disney
Patrol’s like.
Kermit: Disney Patrol are a group of policemen who capture
guests and take to Disneyland Resort where they’ll stay there forever.
Kermit: Oh, you’ll see! As soon as we land, you’ll be
begging to go home.
Kermit: What’s happening?!
Kermit: Watch out!
Kermit: Sorry Sweetums.
Rizzo: How do we get there?
Kermit: Hi Clifford.
Kermit: We’re lost. They’re trying to get to Disneyland
Resort. Do you know where the RV center is?
Kermit: Wow!
Kermit: [Gulps]
Kermit: I’m Kermit the Frog.
Kermit: These are my friends. They’re lost.
Kermit: Perhaps, will you come with us?
Kermit: We’re almost there, guys.
Kermit: What’s wrong, Robin?
Kermit: Good idea, Rowlf.
Kermit: Huh?
Kermit: [Gasps, calling to others] Rise and shine, guys.
Kermit: Disneyland Express is there.
Kermit: Come on, guys! This is it! We’re getting on the
Disneyland Express!
Kermit: Hi-ho your Majesties! I’m Kermit the Frog! These are
my friends.
Kermit: How about the penthouse? My friends are able to fit.
Kermit: I’m Kermit the Frog.
Kermit: We’ll fix your marriage. Look at the penthouse!
Kermit: Well, the place is a mess.
Kermit: You guys are nuts.
Kermit: Who are they?
Kermit: Look, everyone, it’s nice here, I admit. But we need
to go home…!
Kermit: I can’t! No, no! Guys, really, no!
Kermit: Well, all right. Who wants to have fun?
Kermit: Now what?
Kermit: Come on guys. Let’s get this over with…
Statler: Waldorf, is that frog here in that park?
Statler: What?
Kermit: Yahoo!
Kermit: Swimsuits?
Kermit: Looks like I’m going to swim all by myself.
Kermit: I’m going to talk to the queen. Come on, guys.
Kermit: Hi. Do you know where the Neverland Pool is?
Kermit: Come on, Melinda!
Kermit: Melinda? Em…what are you doing?
Kermit: Yes.
Rizzo: I’m going to tell you Pepe.
Rizzo: [Gasps] Ah. We’re doomed!
Kermit: Oh hi darling, I didn’t know you were here. I was
just washing; so now I’m clean and I’m going to go. Bye, bye. [Hides
underwater]
Kermit: Heh, heh.
Kermit: [Wading away] I really don’t want to take her
anywhere.
Kermit: No we don’t. [Unnaturally] We could just close our
eyes and swim around.
Kermit: Boy, that was close.
Kermit: I loved to come back to the pool and marry Melinda.
Kermit: Stay there.
Kermit: Shh. Stay there.
Kermit: Hello. [Knocks door]
Kermit: [Enters bathroom] Yeah, can I…
Kermit: I think I’m still in one.
Kermit: Uh, well, the water comes from the pipes.
Kermit: Uh, I don’t know. From…wherever the pipes get it.
Kermit: Oh, hello!
Kermit: Where?
Kermit: Not now, Floyd. I’m changing.
Kermit: Why?
Kermit: Ballet?
Kermit: We better find a seat.
Wembley: No, we’ll start any minute.
Newsman: No you can’t until the performance starts.
Kermit: Fozzie?
Kermit: I got something to tell you.
Kermit: What’s up, Robin.
[Kermit sniffs]
Kermit: Pegasus give birth to the babies.
Kermit: Fozzie, is this true?
Kermit: Robin?
Kermit: What did she say?
Kermit: Resort?
Kermit: Let’s go back to the hotel, everyone!
Kermit: Thanks, Lew.
Statler: That was the great show.
Statler: What?
Kermit: Guys?
Kermit: It’s dinnertime.
Kermit: Suit yourself. I’ll bring dinner to you.
Kermit: Muppet Theater?
Kermit: All right, everyone, hold your horses.
Kermit: Am I late?
Kermit: [With his mouth full of food] But I want to ride
attractions.
Ernie: Hey pig. What are you doing? Jumping without a
parachute? Kind of dangerous isn’t it?
Ernie: Yeah. But I don’t think you want it.
Ernie: Okay pig. Whatever you say. Here’s the spare…
Ernie: Yeah Isn’t I a stinker? [Snickers]
Kermit: Gonzo, you coming?
Kermit: Oh, I just…wanted to show you little something to
celebrate our last night together as lovers. [Takes his hand off her eyes]
Kermit: Thank you, Hat.
Kermit: Pretend you did not see that.
Kermit: What’s this?
Kermit: You minced!
Kermit: You have had quite an influence on me.
Kermit: No, like two, three…just other men!
Kermit: No no no! You are not a guy! Let me begin again! Uh…
Kermit: Sorry, that was loud. This is a disaster. [Leans on
table, which made him fall and fries spilled over his head]
Kermit: Millie…I…
Kermit: Sleeping Beauty Castle?
Kermit: Yes, music swelling from every window.
Kermit: You should keep it loose, don’t get it let
Kermit: You know good ukulele players.
Kermit: Our magic?
Kermit: Tomorrow?
Kermit: Millie, I love…the way you light up when you talk
about your dream. A dream that it is so beautiful I…I promise…I will do
whatever it takes to make it come true.
Kermit: [Leaving her] I…I’ll go run up the boys.
Rizzo: That must hurt.
Kermit: No! Help!
Kermit: No!
Kermit: Get your ugly claws off me. Bobo?
Bean: Me? I’m ready. I can do this.
Bean: [to the Whatnot] I love Disneyland. I always have. Do
you? I bet you’re good. I’m small, but I try hard to be good. I always try
hard. My mom says, “Try your best—“
Kermit: Me, me, I object.
Kermit: Aargh!
Kermit: Gonzo, get me out of this cage! Hurry!
Kermit: Bobo, why are you doing this?
[Beaker burst into action]
Kermit: Oh, no! [He ran away]
Kermit: Miss Lily, over here!
Kermit: Don’t panic! It’s me. The real Prince Kermit the
Frog!
Kermit: Oh, that’s going to leave a mark.
Kermit: I still gonna have to marry Millie.
Kermit: Yeah. Look, you said to me at the pool last night!
And you are Millie’s sister. You have to know me. I know you are Lily.
Kermit: You have to come with me. The old gang is in
trouble, except Gonzo and Melinda. Let’s go.
Kermit: [O.S.] Tulip!
Kermit: Tulip. We got to sing to save my friends and
Melinda. [Comes closer to Melinda] Please don’t leave me, Millie!
Kermit: Are you OK, Fozzie?
Kermit: They’re getting the free ticket to Disney!
Kermit: No, no, no, no! Millie?
Kermit: No! Look at me. I'm right here. Don't go, stay with
me Millie! [He tries to sing the lullaby but nothing happens]
Kermit: [Starting to burst into tears] What?
Kermit: [Sniffs] And then she is mine.
Kermit: Melinda?
Kermit: Melinda! [He hugs and kisses her]
Kermit: Miss Piggy killed Dark by knocking him back.
Ernie: Greetings!
Ernie: [Snickers] I wonder who he really was.
Kermit: What is that?
Kermit: Yeah?
Kermit: Really? Thanks, Tulip! Hoo hoo hoo!
Kermit: Hey Piggy. That was a pretty parade you did for the
wedding celebration. Do you think your days of being a sourpuss are over?
Kermit: Yeah, well, put it there pal. [Zzzzt]
Kermit: [Gulp] Don’t tell me you lost your sense of humor
already.
Kermit: Yech! Hoo hoo hoo!
Eric Jacobson
Miss Piggy [O.S.]: Kermie?
Miss Piggy [O.S.]: How about we do a family vacation. We can
do Mexico, Norway, China, Germany, Italy, Hawaii, Japan, Morocco, France, the
United Kingdom, or Canada.
Miss Piggy [O.S.]: Good idea, Jennifer!
Miss Piggy: Give me that! [Grabs microphone] We are going to
have a field trip at southern California.
Animal: No fooling.
Miss Piggy: [Continues] you will be our team. And placed on
display for the field of our customers.
Fozzie: Oh, fear clutches my breast.
Fozzie: What’s this? Some kind of a joke book.
Miss Piggy: Do we have to?
Miss Piggy: Disneyland Resort?
Animal: Volunteer! Volunteer!
Miss Piggy: Self-serving!
Fozzie: Easy. Easy. [Helping Sweetums]
Miss Piggy: You’re cute! Oh, you’re cute too—[BONK] Okay
back it up, back it up!
Fozzie: Aah!
Penguin: [falls off the ladder] Aaaaah! [Got up and shakes
his head]
Animal: Sorry!
Miss Piggy: Much better.
Miss Piggy: Hello, Scottie!
Miss Piggy: You heard the man! MOVE IT!
Miss Piggy: Thanks, Jenny. There are those who actually seem
me in selfish. Isn’t it?
Miss Piggy: What?
Miss Piggy: Exactly!
Miss Piggy: Really?! I wasn’t aware! Okay boys, you can
finish the rest. [Exits with Jennifer]
Fozzie: Mary! I will work at the hospital with Pepe.
Fozzie: So that’s for letting us volunteer with you, Mary.
Fozzie: Wow! Aah!
Fozzie: [with defibrillators] Hey guys. Look, thingies!
[Powers up] Clear!
Fozzie: Oh, boy.
Sam Eagle: Do you know anything about selling books?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, there you are.
Miss Piggy: Good. I want you to meet Scott. He’s my date.
Miss Piggy: I’m sorry; I’ve got to go.
Miss Piggy: They finished the house!
Miss Piggy: They finished…the house!
Fozzie: Quite the charmer, aren’t ya?
Fozzie: But, I’m afraid to drop!
Fozzie: But—[Grabbed by the baggage handler and thrown out]
WOCKA, WOCKA, WOCKKAA!!!
Fozzie: Where are we?
Miss Piggy: That doesn’t look like Disneyland Resort!
Miss Piggy: Kermie?
Fozzie: Kermit?
Fozzie: [Extends his hand to Goofy] Wocka, wocka, wocka!
Miss Piggy: Wussiewoman.
Miss Piggy: I’m not the henchman.
Miss Piggy: You calling me fishy?
Miss Piggy: [Models back] You guys are making a mistake.
Miss Piggy: Slimy?
Miss Piggy: Robin? [Stepped forward and picked him up]
Miss Piggy: Are you okay?
Fozzie: We can have a whole new life here, Kermit. A chance
to make the queen happy.
Miss Piggy: You can make any Disney character happy!
Penguins: [Honking]
Miss Piggy: Please, mon chere! Please!
Sam Eagle: [Sighs] Weirdos.
Grover: Ow! My briskets are burning! Fire in the hatch!
Jumping hoptoads, that smarts! [Sits in a puddle] [Sssssst] Ahhh.
Fozzie: Wow! What a great place.
Fozzie: Aah, Kermit!
Miss Piggy: Oh Kermie!
Miss Piggy: Good idea, Janice. Do you have any swimsuits?
Animal: Let’s drum!
Animal: [Roars]
Fozzie: Hi Kermit.
Fozzie: How exciting. [Pulls out binoculars]
Fozzie: Every word.
Fozzie: I love her.
Sam Eagle: Oh, Fozzie, could you please pass the cookies?
Fozzie: Cookies coming up!
Sam Eagle [O.S]: I don’t.
Miss Piggy: Arrrrggghh! Oh no! Aaarrrgghh!
Miss Piggy: Hi Abby.
Miss Piggy: No!
Miss Piggy: Aaaaaaaaarrrghhhh!
Miss Piggy: Yeah.
Bert: Yeah. You could get killed. Huh?
Miss Piggy: You guys got a spare?
Bert: Ernie does.
Miss Piggy: Yeah?
Miss Piggy: I do! I do! Give it to me!
Bert: Gee. Better let her have it Ernie.
Miss Piggy: Thank you. [She tugs the release cord to reveal
a tire with the word spare written on it] Oh no! Aaaaarrrgghh!
Bert: Oh boy.
Fozzie: After this, we’ll go and watch the parade.
Fozzie: I know we’re ready.
Fozzie: I’ve been here before. We can fight back.
Miss Piggy: Henchmen! Henchmen! [Falls to the ground
revealing Pepe, Rizzo, and Animal]
Miss Piggy: The henchmen are searching for Kermie at the
entire park.
Fozzie: So that’s what happened around there.
Fozzie: Listen; I didn’t get dragged down here to lose to
ugly henchmen. I am not going out like that. We’re letting them push us! We
might fight back! We must get right in their faces! Well? Are you with me or
not?
Miss Piggy: [Appears with bottle that Tulip give her]
Finished? Great speech and all. You had them riveted. But didn’t you forget
something?
Fozzie: What?
Miss Piggy: [Shakes bottle] The Magical Potion! [Squirts
water into her mouth and she grows stronger]
Miss Piggy: Play along. [Grabs Fozzie’s hand and shakes it
up and down] Stop hogging it. We’re teammates!
Fozzie: No. I didn’t think you needed it. You’re so tough.
You’re competitive.
Fozzie: Do you want to win?
Fozzie: Okay, listen up. [Whispering to others]
Miss Piggy: Yes!
[Fozzie puts on the drag outfit and looked at the others]
Fozzie: You ready?
Fozzie: Let’s go.
Fozzie: Ha-ha! April Fools!
[The penguins make a stampede at the henchmen]
[Fozzie fight the henchmen]
[Fozzie points Sam]
Sam Eagle: Oh, my.
Fozzie: He was wide open.
[Animal chases the henchman and he bit him]
[Fozzie wanders off until…]
Fozzie: Let’s go.
Miss Piggy: Doll? Hi-yah! [She hits the henchmen, sending
them flying]
Miss Piggy: Where’s your ring?
Miss Piggy: Hurry back!
Fozzie: Gonzo?
Marvin Suggs: Hey, why did you stop?
Fozzie: Wait for me, guys! I’m coming!
Miss Piggy: Kermit?
Fozzie: Gonzo! [Until he saw something happened] Guys?
Fozzie: Kermit, wait! Stop! Come back! Your friends are
hurt, including Melinda. She fall asleep!
[Fozzie paces around]
Fozzie: Tulip’s got to sing.
Fozzie: It didn’t wear off. It was water. You guys had the
“healthy potions” inside the boat all along.
Fozzie: Tulip? Oh, boy. I’m in love.
Miss Piggy: Let me go!
Miss Piggy: I…I don’t want to go back home at Americus. This
is where I belong. In fact, did you ever call me fishy?
Fozzie: Kermit!
[Fozzie saw the staff that forgot. He picks it up]
Fozzie: It isn’t right.
[He throws it into the air]
Fozzie: Not right at all!
Miss Piggy: They finished the house! Hi-yah!
Miss Piggy: He’s gone.
Miss Piggy: Kermie. Hey, Kermie.
Miss Piggy: You’re in Melinda’s new world.
Miss Piggy: Oh, Kermie!
Bert: I’ll tell you one thing Ernie. He weren’t a roommate!
Miss Piggy: Only time will tell.
[Miss Piggy does not seem pleased by the joke and all the
guests are silent]
Miss Piggy: Does this answer your question.
[Miss Piggy grabs Kermit by the neck and gives him a big
kiss]
Fozzie: I’m in your marriage.
Dave Goelz
Gonzo: Stop the music! Make way! Top daredevil coming
through! Jeez! It’s getting so a guy can’t even get himself tired! So, Kermit,
what’s the big emergency?
Gonzo: Long hair! Sleeveless shirt!
Zoot: Hey! Take your tablets! [Throws popcorn box]
Bunsen: Electrical check! [Pushes a switch, zaps Beaker]
Gonzo: Thanks, Robert. Hi, Camilla.
Zoot: How’s volunteering going?
Gonzo: I have, Captain. And there’s an important question I
must ask you. What should I dress up for the trip at Disneyland Resort?
Bunsen: Hey Kermit!
Bunsen: Beakie can pack it up.
Gonzo: Move, Camilla! Come on!
Gonzo: Those hunters who come to take them away.
Gonzo: All right, calm down! Both of you!
Gonzo: Fozzie?
Gonzo: Look out below!!!
Gonzo: A bit of a tenuous landing that. But I dare say it
could’ve been worse. [Helping Robin pulling Sweetums out]
Gonzo: Let’s go left.
Gonzo: Where is Disneyland Resort?
Gonzo: Kermit?
Gonzo: [Shakes hands with Donald Duck] Hi! Glad to meet you!
Gonzo: We got beds. [Bouncing on bed]
Gonzo: Mess? Worried about a little mess? There’s nothing
that a spit shine that wouldn’t fix. Spit shine!
Beauregard: Sparkling clean.
Gonzo: And as such is the exclusive trademark of the Jim
Henson Company. [Kisses tag]
Penguins: [Honking]
Gonzo: Come on, Kermit. Let’s stay here.
Gonzo: I do!
Gonzo: It’s just I haven’t been this close to Disneyland
Park for a while.
Waldorf: Why, it looks like it is.
Waldorf: It ends.
Gonzo: Come on Kermit! Let’s go on attractions!
Gonzo: That was fun!
Gonzo: Let’s go talk to the queen about going to the
Neverland Pool.
Gonzo: Be careful with Millie.
Gonzo: Okay, everybody. It’s time to set the music.
Gonzo: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What kind of music is that?
Gonzo: Now that’s more like it!
Gonzo: But, Kermit.
Gonzo: Oh, for crying out loud.
Gonzo: Hi, Dr. Teeth. What are you guys doing here.
Gonzo: What theater?
Zoot: Yeah, ballet.
Gonzo: Kermit, wait!
Gonzo: [To Pepe] Get dressed, please. For dinner. [Walks
out] Just…please.
Gonzo: What?
Gonzo: I’m exercising.
Beauregard: Hooray!
Beauregard: I think you mean Georgia. Hasn’t been called
Muppet Theater in years.
Beauregard: I love popcorn!
Gonzo: All right, rise and shine sleeping beauty. Come on
hup, hup, hup.
Gonzo: Get your clothes on. Get ready. Got breakfast for
you. [He jumps onto the bed with a bowl of rice] Look, you get rice, and it’s
happy to see you.
Gonzo: Hey, get out of there, you putrid poultry!
Gonzo: [While feeding Kermit] No time to talk. Now remember,
it’s your second day at Disneyland so you can ride attractions. Spend time at
the Mark Twain Riverboat before watching the parade.
Gonzo: Don’t talk with your mouth full. He’ll ride
attractions.
Zoot: They got guns!
[Zoot blows saxophone]
Gonzo: I’ll catch up with you later.
Gonzo: Oh, Tulip…why I can’t just look Lily in the eyes and
say: I will do whatever it takes to make all your dreams come true,
because…because I love you.
Gonzo: Floyd, I’m not in love with that evening star I am in
love with Lily.
Gonzo: I can marry Melinda’s best friend.
Gonzo: I will find another way to get the others a Park
Hopper ticket.
Gonzo: No, no, no. Kermit will tell her.
Gonzo: Let’s hear the story.
Gonzo: Looks like Miss Piggy had a close encounter with a
bug-zapper.
Gonzo: Whoa, nice deltoids!
[Zoot squirts water]
Gonzo: [feeding Camilla] This goes against everything I
learned in health class.
Gonzo: Bottoms up. [Drinks a last squirt of water and drops
it] Yummy.
[Gonzo puts on the armor suit with the duck floatie]
Gonzo: Just get out of my way.
Bunsen: Nice kaboom, Harry.
Gonzo: Cowabunga!
[The penguins make a stampede at the henchmen]
[Beauregard makes a wet floor and the henchmen slipped and
fall down]
[Zoot plays the saxophone at the henchmen’s ears]
Gonzo: Okay, Kermit’s not going to marry Lily, He’s in love with
you! And as soon as he gets himself kissed, he’s going to find some whole other
way to get that Park Hopper ticket that is going make them stay.
Gonzo: Uh, oh. I said too much.
Gonzo: Girl, what are we looking for in here?!
Gonzo: Oh, no, this can’t be right, darling. The how you can
still be a princess? Tulip…she’s…
[Gonzo comforts her]
Gonzo: I know what we’ve seen with our eyes but if we just
go back there we going to find you fairy tale come true.
Gonzo: It’s like my Tulip always said to me—
Gonzo: She’s just big in a broken heart…that’s all it is.
[Sniffling] Come on Tulip. We are going to show her the truth [He ran off to
save Kermit]
Gonzo: [Whispering] Kermit, what are you doing?
[Gonzo saw Kermit in the chest]
Gonzo: Kermit, is that you?!
Gonzo: What did you say; I’ll get you out this cage. [He
uses Camilla’s talon to free Kermit and opens the chest and Kermit was free]
[Gonzo enters the Emporium and saw the bear]
Gonzo: I got him. [Kermit fainted, pulling Gonzo down] He
got me too!
Gonzo [O.S]: Princess! Princess!
Gonzo: This proves what we saw isn’t what we thought we saw.
Gonzo: It’s wizardry, Hyde co? Dark Force, he been using
wizardry…
Gonzo: Guys! You can’t let the wizard get this, no matter
what. [He turned to Melinda] Now run girl. RUN! [Then he and his friends turned
to Dark’s henchmen] OVER MY DEAD BODY! [Blows whistle]
Gonzo: I'M GOING TO GET YOU! [So he killed all the
henchmen] I GOT LIGHTING ON ME! COME HERE, YOU! HA-HA! WHO’S NEXT?! Come
on guys, who’s with me, uh!
Gonzo: Guys? GUUUUYYYYSSSSS!!! [He vanished by wind into
oblivion]
Zoot: [O.S.] I could have been a contender!
Beauregard: I could have had a V-8! [Electric shocking Dr.
Teeth with defibrillators]
Gonzo: My hero.
Gonzo: [Holding staff] here’s your answer Tulip! The magic
staff glows and I’m alive!
Bill Barretta
Rowlf: [From audience, O.S] Oh, we’re in big trouble now.
Rowlf: Bark barkity bark bark! What’s wrong with you? Let’s
get a fishing pole…wait till the barbeque guy’s gone…and grab food! [Hissing]
Rowlf: She works out.
Pepe: I don’t know! I didn’t have it in school.
Bubba: Come on!
Pepe: What a great doorbell you have.
Pepe: So da-da. Perhaps we should practice a little
mouth-to-mouth reservations, okay.
Pepe: [zapped and shocked] AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! [Falls to
the ground]
Swedish Chef: Volontararbete ar gjort.
Dr. Teeth: Hey, frog!
Dr. Teeth: Absotively posilutely.
Dr. Teeth: Better get ready, frog. The Disney Patrol is
coming today.
Rowlf: Bark barkity bark bark! They are the Disney Patrol.
Rowlf: Why…?! What’s it like?!
Pepe: This looks like Arizona.
Bubba: I don’t know.
Bobo: Dark, I’m right here.
Bobo: Hey, Telly and Baby Bear are funny! They, they never
get to finish the act!
Bobo: I will see you tomorrow, dear heart. [Leaves]
Bobo: Oh dear?
Bobo: You are so quiet?
Bobo: The poor dear frog was coming, so I watched it on
TV—[Trips]
Bobo: How do I ever get tangled up in all this wizardry
madness? [Got up] I can’t get through with this. [Rips watch off, and he
transforms back into the normal self]
Bobo: [Continues] You wear this…ghostly flinger! [Throws
watch]
Bobo: It’s true.
Bobo: Yes…I am.
Bobo: But…what about Kermit?
Bobo: [Chuckles] Yes.
Dr. Teeth: Which way, frog?
Rowlf: But how?
Rowlf: Hey! Let’s sleep until the Disneyland Express comes.
Dr. Teeth: We got a TV. [Turns on TV]
Rowlf: We got couches. [Until the bed pops out, knocking him
down]
Rowlf: Spit shine!
Bobo: Let’s see what you got…pig!
Bobo: [Acting like Miss Piggy] “I’m not the henchman.”
[Laughs]
Bobo: Watch the footwork. Can you believe it? [Throws her]
Bobo: You’re all washed up, slimy!
Bobo: Yeah, are you okay?
Bobo: Whoops!
Rowlf: Why don’t you stay?
Dr. Teeth: Stay here, frog!
Bobo: [Pouring tea into a cup] Well, when you’re next in
line for the throne, you’re poised like a panther, ready to expert the
unexpected [Snarling like a panther with her until his ear popped out]
Bobo: What? [Touched the popped out ear and looked at the
watch. The magic is running out] Oh, there are pesky mosquitoes…everywhere. Get
in here! [Grabs Lily] Please, Miss Lily, I can no longer ignore the throbbing
of my…[fur pops out] Heart. Even though our time together’s been brief, it’s
been heavenly.
Bobo: [Hugs her] Would you do me the honor of becoming
princess of Disneyland?
Bobo: [Hides face] As the plague.
Bobo: Whew. [Until Dark enters] [Gasps]
Bobo: What we do now?
Pepe: That was fun, okay!
Pepe: Hey senor, wait for me! Rizzo, Bubba, and me are going
to watch us, okay.
Pepe: Rizzo, it’s beautiful, okay.
Bubba: Kids got mocky.
Rowlf: All right, look. I’m on it. Check it out! [He starts
dancing and rapping] Bark-bark-bark-bark-bark-bark a dog!
Bark-bar-bark-bar-bark a dog! Take it, take it to the flow! Show it, show it
how it row! Woof it! Woof it! Woof it low! Woof it, w-woof it low!
Pepe: Yeah, yeah.
Pepe: They’re a couple of things I know they’re bound to
notice!
Pepe: [Popping out of the water between Kermit and Lily]
What a chicken flavor.
Pepe: [Brushing his teeth] No, that was vile! You owe me
big!
Pepe: [Walks away] Hey, don’t look at me. I am not biting
any more butts, okay.
Dr. Teeth: Hey, long-nosed weirdo.
Dr. Teeth: We’re all here for Kermit to take him to Fantasia
Theater.
Pepe: Senorita, I can explain. Senorita?
Pepe: Tastes like chicken.
Dr. Teeth: Sorry Gonzo, I’m taking him to Fantasia Theater.
Dr. Teeth: Frog?
Dr. Teeth: Come on frog, Let’s go.
Mahna Mahna: Can we start without them?
[Dr. Teeth puts on the hat]
Behemoth: Me too.
Swedish Chef: Middag serveras.
Rowlf: Hot dogs are good and scrumptious.
Dr. Teeth: Hey guys, I got a crazy idea! Let’s cruise on
Mark Twain Riverboat.
Dr. Teeth: Yeah. It’ll give it more time to watch the
parade.
Rowlf: Mark Twain Riverboat, here we come.
Rowlf: Magical Potion? You wouldn’t hold out on us, would
you? [Drinks water]
Bobo: [Through door] Um, getting dressed! Just a few
moments, my dear Lily.
Bobo: Oh, heavens…I’m doomed.
Bobo: Hold still, Froggy.
[Dr. Teeth puts on the cowboy outfit]
[Rowlf dresses as a knight]
[Rowlf knows he’s a dog. He bit the henchman’s butt and the
henchman’s pants ripped off. The henchman is all embarrassed]
[Dr. Teeth uses the harmonica to play loudly at the
henchmen’s ears]
Pepe: Bunny? You picked the bunny?
Bobo: I do.
Bobo: AAAGGGHHH! [Falling of the wedding cake and into the
street below]
Bobo: I just need a moment to compose myself. [Grabs Kermit]
Bobo: It’s payback time for all this years of humiliation.
[Bobo transformed back into himself – a grizzly bear]
Bobo: Let him go!
[The Swedish Chef is putting dukes up but he is knocked out]
[Dr. Teeth got trampled]
Pepe: Huh? [That henchman slams him] But, mama, I don’t want
to go to school today. I want to stay home and bake cookies, okay.
Bobo: Hello, darling!
Bobo: [Ran away] AAAHHH!!!
[Bobo watches]
Bobo: I pronounce you frog and wife. [Until he is handcuffed
by the Disney Exterminators]
Bobo: I’m completely innocent. The wizard bamboozled me.
Pepe: Senor, listen, you got any more Magical Potion? I
think it’s starting to wear off.
Pepe: Yeah, I knew that. But you got any more?
Pepe: Senor?
David Rudman
Scooter: Oh, oh, I got it.
Scooter: How about we choose a Sea World Resort District at
San Diego.
Scooter: And helps us out.
Scooter: I’m going to work with Sam at the library.
Scooter: Let’s sell books for everyone to get a free ticket
to Disney.
Scooter: George, let’s read the story.
Janice: For sure.
Scooter: Hey, chief. I bang some luggage. Wanna help
Beauregard pack things up for the trip, because the Disney Patrol is going to
be here at dawn.
Scooter: That is why you need to choose your voice wisely
around these guys.
Scooter: You mean they are poachers?
Scooter: Welcome to the club, toots!
Scooter: Get it through you vinyl noggin, chief – They’re
locked away!
Humphrey: You need a hand in there, buddy?
Baby Bear: Does anybody understand what this bear is saying?
I’ve worked with a lot of wise Goldilocks, but you are despicable!
Baby Bear: This is the last time I work with someone with
speech impediment!
Baby Bear: This means war.
Baby Bear: Hoo hoo hoo!
Cookie Monster: Yum, yum! Millie!
Cookie Monster: Long time no see! Those cookies are for me?
Cookie Monster: Me borrow cookie.
Cookie Monster: Thanks. YUM, YUM, YUM!
Cookie Monster: Oh, well. What a lucky girl.
Scooter: Good idea, guys.
Scooter: Aiiiiieee! [Stops, frozen] I wet myself.
Scooter: We’re lost again!
Scooter: Correction: We’re The Muppets.
Scooter: Come on, chief!
Penguins: [Honking]
Janice: Hey Kermit. Want to swim at the Neverland Pool?
Janice: Bummer.
Janice: But Kermit, don’t you want to go see Tulip perform a
Russian ballet?
Luncheon Counter Monster: Isn’t that exciting?
Whatnots: [Chattering]
Scooter: No pain, no gain.
Whatnots: She smells like pork!
Ohboy Bird: Hey dale, can you blow that saxophone?
Scooter: I think we should quit forfeit.
[Scooter faints]
[Scooter drinks water]
Whatnot: Ow!!
Janice: Nice underwear!
[The penguins make a stampede at the henchmen]
Whatnots: Red light!
[Scooter got pounded]
Whatnot: Good-bye! [Killing Rowlf with the giant foot]
Scooter: [O.S.] Can I have some?
Cookie Monster: Cookie! Yum! Me want cookie!
Baby Bear: Greetings!
Baby Bear: Greetings, your Majesty!
It’s porridge.
Baby Bear: Or a bear!
Scooter: Applesauce! If he was such
a genius why didn’t he leave?
Matt Vogel
Crazy Harry: Stop that laughing! I said stop that
laughing!!!
Floyd: Uh, Universal Studios Hollywood will be a great idea,
man. [Laughs]
Floyd: How beautiful, man.
Lew Zealand: Pardon me! Oh, sorry! [Tries to get to his
seat]
Sweetums: Do-de-do [sawing, wood breaks and he falls and hit
the ground]
Dr. Julius Strangepork: The horse drawn carriage.
Camilla: [clucks]
Floyd: Good to see you, man.
Crazy Harry: Did somebody say, “Bang”? [Pushes a TNT lever
down]
Lew Zealand: [O.S.] I hate it when he does that!
Sweetums: It’s all right, Robin. You’ll be okay!
Robin: Well…Uncle Kermit and I have been growing apart for
years, it’s just… I can’t believe they’re locked away!
[Robin bursts into tears]
Sweetums: [covered in parachute] Hello? Hello? A little help
chaps?
Robin: Hold on there, we’ll get you out of there now.
Robin: Incoming!
Sweetums: Oh my! [Smashed by Kermit]
Pops: Got the password?
Pops: Say hi, dear!
Robin: Uh oh! Uncle Kermit.
Robin: We’re out of gas.
Robin: Oh boy, Oh boy, oh boy!
Lew Zealand: Mr. Wizard, we all agreed that I don’t like my
remark.
Robin: He is not washed up! Aunt Piggy’s the greatest!
Robin: Ow! [Hits wall and falls to the ground]
Robin: [Moans] My poor little cranium.
Robin: You’re not scared of them are you, Aunt Piggy?
Robin: Yeah, Uncle Kermit! Stay with us!
Floyd: You’ll be fun, man!
[Robin pipes up]
Robin: I thought, Disneyland was our land?
Lew Zealand: Your future?
Sweetums: I don’t understand.
Camilla: [Squawk]
Robin: Uncle Kermit, meet me at Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.
Robin: Sorry.
Floyd: Rowlf, Rowlf, a little too aggressive. Not hating on
your creativity, but I think I got this one. Follow my lead. [He whistles “Pool
Waltz”]
Floyd: Oh, man!
Floyd: Hey Kermit, We got to go.
Floyd: To Fantasia Theater.
Floyd: I’m sorry, man, we have to go. Please, Kermit.
Gobo: Did they start yet? Did they start yet? Did I miss it?
Am I late?
Pops: It’s the performance!
Sweetums: Everyone, look!
Robin: Uncle Kermit?
Robin: Sorry, bubble training.
Robin: Don’t worry, Uncle Kermit. Story continues.
Robin: I think she said something about a resort.
Robin: Yeah. But I don’t know how much it costs.
Lew Zealand: Mr. The Frog. When they get back, dinner will
be ready. [Throws the fish] I throw the fish away.
Lew Zealand: And they come back to me.
Crazy Harry: I’m hungry!
Crazy Harry: Did somebody say, “Pop”? [Pushes a TNT lever]
[Camilla rings like an alarm clock]
Crazy Harry: We’re still our team.
Whaddaysay Bird: Man that is one Killer Diller costume.
Floyd: We can miss this.
Floyd: Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude! You’re making romantic eyes
on that girl? [He charges up to Gonzo and fights him] That does it! Put your
fists up, I’m going to beat you up pretty good, man.
Floyd: [Stops fighting] I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. You
come here, you…
Floyd: You will be so happy together.
Floyd: I can’t wait to tell Melinda.
Floyd: Right, you bet…
Floyd: Magical Potion? [He drinks water]
Lew Zealand: We’re also Whatnots. We need it bad. [Grabs
bottle and squirt water]
[Crazy Harry puts on the construction hat and goggles]
[Floyd puts on the wizard outfit]
[Sweetums dresses as a shark and does the jumping rope while
Robin is a cupid and puts on war paint]
Robin: Feed me!
Sweetums: [Grabbing him] Feed you? [He ate him]
Robin: Bad ogre!
Lew Zealand: “I wish I was in the land of—“
Lew Zealand: [Guarding him with a big boomerang fish] Let me
remind you, that hitting me is not allowed in the park!
Lew Zealand: Did you order some cooking or extra crust?
Camilla: [Squawk]
[Crazy Harry got elbow slammed]
[Lew Zealand got punched]
Crazy Harry: Henchmen! Henchmen!
Lew Zealand: Throw! [He throws the boomerang fish and
it hits the staff and it hits the ground]
Count: Or a vampire.
Robin: I’m six and a half.
Robin: [Sniffles] I promise myself I won’t cry.
Martin P. Robinson
Tatooey: [Blows horn] Evening Your Majesty!
Tatooey: Hah, hah, look at you. Why, I’d expect nothing less
from the finest seamstress in the Magic Kingdom of Disneyland.
Tatooey: Oh, no sweetie, come on.
Tatooey: Your Majesty. You suppose you can web something up
like that?
Tatooey: Now princess, you’re getting that magic but that’s
it.
Snuffy: I know who it is.
Snuffy: Is that peanuts? I want peanuts!
Snuffy: I got it! I got it!
Tatooey: Your Majesty, just noticing…they’re from Georgia.
What if they can’t come?
Tatooey: Cool.
Telly: Hey, hey. Cut it out!
Telly: Darn son of the heck!
Telly: Oh yeah! [Grabs Baby Bear, throws him into the piano
and slams it shut on him, leaving only his nose sticking out]
Telly: How did I do that?!
Whatnots: [Laughs evily]
Penguins: [Honking]
Whatnots: [Chattering]
Whatnots: We’re searching for Kermit.
Whatnot: Oops! Hey!
[The penguins make a stampede at the henchmen]
Whatnots: Red light!
Whatnot: [Blocking him] Are you leaving?
Whatnot: Try and get by me, doll!
Whatnot: Fore! [Golfing Robin with Sweetums' arm and he
flies and hits the wall]
Tatooey: Great balls of fire! What the devil happened in
here?
Tatooey: I’ve been a bear for 37 years and I’ve never seen a
mess like this.
Leslie Carrara
Dorothy: Hello, I’m Dorothy.
Dorothy: I know how to rent an RV van!
Penguins: [Honking]
Red: Oh yeah, I can hardly wait.
Abby: Oh look! Piggies!
Abby: This little piggy went to the market, this little
piggy stayed home…
Abby: This little piggy had roast beef. And this little
piggy had…
Abby: Uh oh! Ran out of piggies!
[The penguins make a stampede at the henchmen]
Kevin Clash
Clifford: Hi, Kerm.
Clifford: What are you guys doing here?
Clifford: I know where it is. It’s in Las Vegas. Y’all get
on the bus.
Clifford: Well, here we are.
Clifford: Y’all address Henry and Dorothy. We are short to
the point. Y’all clear?
Clifford: We’re going to rent the RV center for the road
trip.
Clifford: That’s my birds!
Clifford: No, no, y’all go ahead.
Clifford: All right! Y’all better smile and have fun when
they get there!
Elmo: Or a monster.
Elmo: [Laughs]
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