Muppets & Disney Fairies 2: Winter's Most Wanted - Subtitles (en) - Search for video captions

(PEOPLE VOCALIZING RHYTHMICALLY)
(MORE VOICES JOIN IN VOCALIZATION)
(CHEERY WHISTLING)
-MAN: And cut! -(EXCITED CHATTER)
-Wow. That was so amazing! -Walter, you did a wonderful job.
Thank you, Kermit. Did we get that?
-MISS PIGGY: We got it. -We got it, yup.
Movie's over, people. Go home.
That is a wrap.
Okay, nice work, everyone.
Make sure to fill out your I-9s,
and we'll see you on the next one.
(SIGHS)
So, uh... What do we do now?
Well, we're together again.
We got the freedom
and all our fans are back.
-Yeah! -(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
Actually, those were extras.
I saw a few tapping their toes.
Yeah, those were paid dancers.
-Oh. -MISS PIGGY: Or...
Maybe since we're all here,
Now could be the perfect time for you
and me to tie the knot, Kermie!
(STAMMERING)
Well, I mean, maybe I could.
Hey, what's the camera still doing here?
Oh, no. Disaster!
That can only mean one thing.
-Doggone it, you're right! -Mmm-hmm.
It looks like they've order a sequel.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
♪ We're doing a sequel
♪ We're back by popular demand
♪ Come on, everybody, strike up the band!
♪ We're doing a sequel
♪ That's what we do in Hollywood
♪ And everybody knows
♪ That the sequel's never quite as good
♪ A sequel Another feature attraction
♪ Places, please Light the lights
♪ Roll camera, "Action!"
♪ I thought it was the end
♪ But no, my friends, this is when
♪ We get to do it all again!
♪ Do it all again
♪ Until the credits roll
♪ We got another go to show them
♪ We can do it all again!
(CLUCKING)
♪ We're doing a sequel There's no need to disguise
♪ ,The studio considers us a viable franchise
♪ We're doing a sequel How hard can it be?
♪ We can't do any worse than The Godfather III
♪ We're doing a sequel The studio wants more
♪ While they wait for Tom Hanks
♪ To make Toy Story 4!
♪ I thought it was the end
♪ But no, my friends, this is when
♪ We get to do it all again!
♪ Do it all again!
♪ Until the credits roll
♪ We've got another go to show them
♪ We can do it all again!
(SQUAWKING)
MAN 1: Coming through!
WOMAN: Sending over to wardrobe!
MAN 2: We're taking this set apart.
Oh!
♪ We're doing a sequel
♪ Let's give it a go
♪ With Hollywood stars
♪ And more one-liner cameos
♪ We're doing a sequel
♪ I don't mean to be a stickler
♪ But this is the seventh sequel
♪ To our original motion picture
MUPPETS: ♪ We're doing a sequel
(SCREAMING)
♪ Let's give it a shot
♪ All we need now is a half-decent plot
(SPOKEN) Got it. An epic love story
between a very handsome,
long-nosed purple thing
-and a beautiful chicken. -(CLUCKS)
Gonzo with the Wind.
Does anybody have any other ideas?
Oh! Oh! It's about getting
the Muppets back together again
to stop an evil oil baron
from demolishing the old studio!
Fozzie, did you even watch our last film?
How about one of those
fish out of water movies?
Yeah, I'm not so sure about that, Lew.
It's about a frog who marries
a beautiful, perfect pig.
And they have to kiss each other a lot!
Uh...
(SPEAKING MOCK SWEDISH)
I don't think Americans
watch subtitled films. (SIGHS)
How about a movie where you
don't make a movie?
And we all get to go home early!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Good grief.
-(PLAYING PIANO) -It about a lonely dog,
and one night he sees something
he should never have seen.
And he has to live with a terrible secret.
That sounds a little dark, Rowlf.
Kermit, how about the Muppets
go on a world tour?
That's perfect!
MUPPETS: ♪ I thought it was the end
♪ But no, my friends, this is when
♪ We get to do it all again!
♪ Until the credits roll
♪ We've got another go to show them
♪ We can do it all again!
♪ We're doing a sequel
♪ It's more of the same Let's give it a name
♪ How about The Muppets Again?
♪ It's the Muppets again with The Muppets Again
♪ It's the
♪ Muppets
♪ Again! ♪
-Okay? -ZUCCHINI BROTHER: I'm okay!
Okay! Ha-ha!
Booma-booma!
BOTH: Booma-booma! Hep!
-Hey! Pepperoni! -(WHOOPING)
(FOOTSTEPS)
ALL: ♪ Born of cold and winter air
♪ And mountain rain combining
♪ This icy force both foul and fair
♪ Has a frozen heart worth mining
♪ So cut through the heart
♪ Cold and clear
♪ Strike for love and strike for fear
♪ See the beauty sharp and sheer
♪ Split the ice apart
♪ And break the frozen heart
♪ Hup, ho
♪ Watch your step Let it go
♪ Hup, ho
♪ Watch your step Let it go
♪ Beautiful Powerful
♪ Dangerous Cold
♪ Ice has a magic Can't be controlled
♪ Stronger than one
♪ Stronger than ten
♪ Stronger than a hundred men!
(ALL GRUNT)
(GRUNTS) Oh!
(CHUCKLES)
♪ Born of cold And winter air
♪ And mountain rain combining
♪ This icy force both foul and fair
♪ Has a frozen heart worth mining
♪ Cut through the heart
♪ Cold and clear
♪ Strike for love and strike for fear
♪ There's beauty and there's danger here
♪ Split the ice apart
♪ Beware the frozen heart ♪
(GRUNTS)
KRISTOFF: Come on, Sven.
Elsa. Psst!
-Elsa! -(GRUNTS)
Wake up. Wake up. Wake up!
Anna, go back to sleep.
(SIGHS) I just can't.
The sky is awake, so I'm awake.
So, we have to play.
Go play by yourself.
(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
Do you want to build a snowman?
Come on, come on, come on!
(SHUSHING)
(BOTH GIGGLING)
ANNA: Do the magic!
Do the magic!
Oh...
-Ready? -Uh-huh. (CHUCKLES)
This is amazing!
(TINK SQUEALING EXCITEDLY)
Watch this!
(GIGGLING)
Hi, I'm Olaf, and I like warm hugs.
I love you, Olaf!
(GIGGLES)
-ANNA: Olaf... -(GIGGLING)
Tickle bumps!
Oh!
Hang on!
Catch me!
Gotcha!
Again!
Wait!
-Whoo-hoo! -Slow down!
(GRUNTS)
Whoo!
-Anna! -(GRUNTS)
(PERIWINKLE GASPS)
Anna!
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Mama! Papa!
(SOBBING FEARFULLY) No, no...
You're okay, Anna. I got you.
(GASPS) Elsa, what have you done?
This is getting out of hand.
It was an accident. I'm sorry, Anna!
-Oh. She's ice cold. -I know where we have to go.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(HORSE NEIGHING)
Ice?
Faster, Sven. (PANTING)
(WHISPERS) Sven!
(SVEN PANTING)
Please! Help! It's my daughter.
(GASPS)
It's the king.
(ALL MURMURING)
-Trolls? (GASPS) -Shush!
I'm trying to listen.
Cuties. I'm going to keep you.
Your Majesty.
Born with the powers, or cursed?
(STAMMERING)
Born. And they're getting stronger.
Here, here.
You are lucky it wasn't her heart.
The heart is not so easily changed.
But her head can be persuaded.
Do what you must.
I recommend we remove all magic.
Even memories of magic, to be safe.
But don't worry. I'll leave the fun.
(SIGHS)
She will be okay.
But she won't remember I have powers?
It's for the best.
Listen to me, Elsa.
Your power will only grow.
There is beauty in your magic...
(TROLLS GASPING)
But also great danger.
(GASPS)
GRAND PABBIE:
You must learn to control it.
Fear will be your enemy.
-(WOMAN SCREAMING) -(GASPS)
KING AGDAR: No!
We'll protect her.
She can learn to control it. I'm sure.
Until then...
We'll lock the gates.
We'll reduce the staff.
We will limit her contact with people,
and keep her powers hidden
from everyone.
Including Anna.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Ah. (GIGGLING)
Elsa?
(KNOCKS RHYTHMICALLY)
♪ Do you wanna build a snowman?
♪ Come on, let's go and play
♪ I never see you anymore
♪ Come out the door
♪ It's like you've gone away
♪ We used to be best buddies And now we're not
♪ I wish you would tell me why
♪ Do you wanna build a snowman?
♪ (MUFFLED) It doesn't have to be a snowman
ELSA: Go away, Anna.
♪ Okay, bye
(GASPS)
KING AGDAR: The gloves will help.
See? Conceal it.
Don't feel it.
ALL: Don't let it show.
(GIGGLES)
♪ Do you wanna build a snowman?
♪ Or ride our bike around the halls?
(CLATTERS)
♪ I think some company is overdue
♪ I've started talking To the pictures on the walls
♪ Hang in there, Joan.
♪ It gets a little lonely All these empty rooms
♪ Just watching the hours tick by
(MIMICKING TICKING)
I'm scared.
It's getting stronger!
Getting upset only makes it worse.
Calm down.
No! Don't touch me!
Please, I don't want to hurt you.
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES)
See you in two weeks!
Do you have to go?
You'll be fine, Elsa.
Your Highness.
Elsa?
♪ Please I know you're in there
♪ People are asking where you've been
♪ They say "Have courage" And I'm trying to
♪ I'm right out here for you
♪ Just let me in
♪ We only have each other It's just you and me
♪ What are we gonna do?
♪ Do you wanna build a snowman? ♪
(SOBBING)
(BEEPING)
All right, buddy, we're here.
Right where you paid me to bring you.
Question is, why?
I'm looking for a fairy.
A fairy? Ha!
Hey, pal, you can't get any further away from land than out here.
Exactly where I want to be.
I got news for you, buddy. There's nobody out here but us.
(SHIP'S HORN)
SHIP: What are you doing out here?
What does it look like, genius? I'm crabbing.
Well, turn around and go back where you came from.
Yeah, and who's gonna make me?
All right. All right. Don't get your prop in a twist.
What a jerk. Sorry, buddy. Looks like it's the end of the line.
Buddy?
(SHIP'S HORN)
(ENGINE REVS)
TANNOY: Incoming. All workers
report to the loading dock.
Leland Turbo, this is Pablo McMissile. I'm at the rally point. Over.
(STATIC)
All right, fellas, you know the drill.
Leland, it's Finn. Please respond. Over.
(STATIC)
Come on, guys. These crates aren't gonna unload themselves.
(GERMAN ACCENT) Too many cars here. Out of my way.
Professor Zündapp?
Here it is, Professor. You wanted to see this before we load it?
Ah, yes. Very carefully.
(SPEAKS GERMAN)
Oh, a TV camera.
What does it actually do?
This camera is extremely dangerous.
What are you up to now, Professor?
This is valuable equipment. Make sure it is properly secured for the voyage.
You got it.
Hey, Professor Z!
GREM: This is one of those
British spies we told you about.
Yeah! This one we caught sticking his bumper where it didn't belong.
ZÜNDAPP: Agent Leland Turbo.
(GASPS)
It's Pablo McMissile!
He's seen the camera! Kill him!
TANNOY: All hands on deck!
All hands on deck!
Whoa!
Waargh!
(BEEPING)
(ENGINE REVS)
(SQUEALING)
What?
Get to the boats!
He's getting away!
Not for long!
(CHUCKLES)
GREM OVER RADIO:
He's dead, Professor.
ZÜNDAPP: Wunderbar!
With Pablo McMissile gone,
who can stop us now?
(WIND HOWLING)
(ACCELERATING BEEPS)
-(GRUNTS) -(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
Exactly why do we have an
"Open All Doors" button?
Seems kind of dangerous.
Eat your goulash.
(POWERING DOWN)
-(GRUNTING) -(PUNCHES LANDING)
(DISHES SHATTERING)
(BLARING)
(LAUGHS) Come on!
(ALL YELLING)
(WITH RUSSIAN ACCENT) Let's dance.
(GUARDS GROANING)
(YELLS)
(ALARM BUZZING)
(PRISONERS SHOUTING)
It's time to light the lights.
(EXPLODING)
Muppet news flash.
Constantine, the world's most
dangerous frog,
has escaped from a
maximum security Gulag
in Siberia, Russia.
This move has leapfrogged Constantine
to the number one most wanted
criminal in the world,
one place ahead of the mysterious Lemur.
Tink -Tinker Bell, that's who
- is here to help you.
(CHOKING)
-Hey, Otis! -Hey, Tink.
I... Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry.
I thought I could make it this time, but...
(PIXIE BELLS FAILS TO START)
Smooth like pudding, huh?
(SIGHS) Who am I kidding?
I'll always be a Lemon.
Well, jingles,
you're leaking pixie dust again.
Must be your gaskets.
Hey, but look on the bright side.
This is your tenth fairy this month,
so it's on the house.
You're the only one that's nice to
Lemons like me, Tink.
Don't sweat it. Shoot, these things
happen to everybody.
-But you never leak dust. -Yeah, but I ain't perfect.
Don't tell nobody, but I think my face
is starting to show through.
Hey. Is Terence back yet?
Not yet.
He must be crazy excited about winning
his fourth basketball trophy.
Four! Wow!
Yeah, we're so jingles proud of him,
but I wish he'd hurry up and get back,
'cause we got a whole summer's worth
of best friend fun to make up for.
Just me and... (GASPS)
(HORN HONKS)
Terence!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! -Terence!
-Tink! I'm in no hurry! -Hey, everybody. Terence's back!
-Aaah! -Terence's back!
-Terence's back! Terence's back! -Aaah! Oooh-hoo! Oooh-hah!
Terence's back!
Terence! Welcome home!
-Good to have you back, sugar! -Congratulations, dude.
Welcome home, sir.
The place wasn't
the same without you, son.
What? Did he go somewhere?
-It's good to be home, everybody. -(TINKER BELL'S BELL JINGLES)
-Tink! -Terence!
-Tink! -Terence!
Oooh!
Whoooa!
Hey, how far did you make it
this time, Otis?
-Halfway to the county line. -Ooh, not bad!
I know! I can't believe it either!
-Terence! Welcome back! -Tinker Bell, it's so good to see you.
You too, buddy.
Oh, you ain't going to believe the
things I got planned for us!
These best friend greetings
get longer every year!
-You ready to have some serious fun? -I've got something to show you first.
TINKER BELL: Wow.
I can't believe they renamed the trophy
after our very own Air Jordan.
I know Walter said these
things were just old trophies,
but to have someone else win it just
didn't feel right, you know?
Walter would've been real
proud of you. That's for sure.
All right, pal. I've been waiting
all summer for this.
-What you got planned? -Ha-ha-ha! You sure you can handle it?
Do you know who you're talking to?
This is Terence the dust keeper!
I can handle anything.
Er... Tink?
Just remember, your brakes ain't
going to work on these!
-Tink? -Relax.
These train tracks ain't been
used in years!
-(TRAIN HORN) -Aaaah!
-Aaaah! -Faster, faster. Come on. Here we go!
Faster!
(LAUGHS)
-(TINKER BELL CHUCKLES) -Ooh. Wow.
Yeah, I don't know. Do you think?
This is going to be good!
(SPLASHING ECHOES)
-(TINKER BELL LAUGHS) -Did you see that?
(GURGLING)
TINKER BELL: Uh-oh.
This ain't going to be good.
Ha-ha! Boy, this was the best day ever!
And my favorite souvenir, this new dent.
-Boy, Tink, today was ah... -Shoot, that was nothing.
Wait till you see what I got planned
for tonight!
Tink, Tink, whoa!
I was thinking of just a quiet dinner.
That's exactly what I was thinking.
-No, I meant with Naveen, Tink. -Even better!
You, me and Prince Naveen
going out for supper.
Tink, I meant it would be
just me and Naveen.
-Oh. -You know, just for tonight.
-Oh... -We'll do whatever you want tomorrow.
Okay.
-Thanks for understanding. -Yeah, sure.
-Y'all go on and have fun now. -All right, then.
See you soon, amigo.
(SIGHS)
NAVEEN: Ah, this is so nice.
I can't tell you how good it is
to be here alone,
just the two of us, finally. You and me.
TINKER BELL: Ahem! Good evening.
-Oh! -My name is Tiana,
and I'll be your waitress.
Tiana the waitress.
That's funny right there.
Tink? You work here?
Yeah, I work here. What did you think?
I snuck in here when
nobody was looking
and pretended to be your waitress
so I could hang out with you?
Oh, yeah. How ridiculous would that be?
Can I start you two frogs off
with a couple of drinks?
-Yes. I'll have my usual. -You know what? I'll have that, too.
Uh... Right. Your usual.
(LAUGHTER)
(RATTLING)
-Thanks, dude. -Thanks, Chef.
-Chef, what's Terence's usual? -(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-That's perfect. Give me two of them. -Quiet! My program's on.
Tonight on the Mel Dorado Show...
His story gripped the world.
Dust billionaire Miles Axlerod,
in an attempt to become the first fairy
to circumnavigate the globe without GPS,
ironically ran out of pixie dust,
and found himself trapped in the wild.
Feared dead, he emerged 36 days later,
running on a fuel he distilled himself
from the natural elements!
Since then, he's sold his dust fortune,
converted himself from a gas guzzler
into a powerful fairy
and has devoted his life to finding
a renewable, clean-burning pixie dust.
Now he claims to have done it
with his Incanta.
And to show the world what his
new super dust can do
he's created a world's fair like no other,
inviting the greatest fairies
to travel in the first ever World
Global Pavilion, Incorporated.
Welcome, Sir Miles Axlerod.
Thank you, Mel. It is good to be here.
Listen to me.
Big oil. It costs a fortune.
Pollution is getting worse.
I mean, it's a fossil fuel.
"Fossil," as in dead dinosaurs.
And we all know
what happened to them.
Alternative energy is the future.
Trust me, Mel.
After seeing Incanta in action at the
World Global Pavilion Inc,
nobody will ever go
back to gasoline again.
What happened to the dinosaurs, now?
And on satellite, the WGP Inc. tourist
and one of the fastest fairies
in the world, Fionnoula MacLise.
It is an honor, Mr. Dorado, for you.
Why not invite Terence?
MILES AXLEROD:
Of course we invited them,
but apparently after a very
long touring season
he is taking time off to rest.
The Terence would not have
a chance against Fionnoula.
I can fly over 300 kilometers an hour.
In miles, that is like...
way faster than Terence.
Let's go to the phones.
Baltimore, Maryland, you're on the air.
-Am I on? Hello? -You're on. Go ahead.
-Hello? -Go ahead.
(LINE GOES DEAD)
Let's go to Pixie Hollow.
You're on, caller.
TINKER BELL: That Irish feller
you got on there
can't talk that way about Terence.
He's the bestest dust keeper
in the whole wide world.
-Uh-oh. -If she is, how you say,
"the bestest dust keeper,"
then why must he rest? Huh?
TINKER BELL: 'Cause he knows
what's important.
Every now and then he prefers
just to slow down, enjoy life.
Ah! You heard it!
Terence prefers to be slow!
This is not news to Fionnoula.
When I want to go to sleep,
I watch one of his shows.
After two acts, I am out cold.
-(MURMURING) -TINKER BELL: That ain't what I meant.
TERENCE: What's going on over there?
FIONNOULA:
He is afraid of Fionnoula.
TERENCE: That's that Irish lucky tourist.
-Her name is... -Fionnoula MacLise.
-No wonder there's a crowd. -Why do you know her name?
And don't say it like that.
It's three syllables, not ten.
What? She's nice to look at.
You know, open-heeled and all.
What's wrong with fenders?
I thought you liked my fenders.
-Let me tell you something else. -Tinker Bell?
TINKER BELL: Terence could fly
circles around you.
Flying in a circles is all he can do, no?
TINKER BELL: No.
I mean, yes. I mean,
he could beat you anywhere.
Any time, any track.
Mel, can we move on?
Fionnoula needs a caller who can provide
a little more intellectual stimulation,
like a Tinker.
Ha-ha! That shows what you know.
Tinkers is dumb.
Hey! Whoa!
Yeah, hi. This is Terence.
The Terence the dust keeper, eh?
I don't appreciate my best friend
being insulted like that.
Terence, that was your best friend? Oh!
This is the difference
between you and Fionnoula.
Fionnoula knows how good he is.
He does not need to surround himself
with Tinker Fairies to prove it.
Those are strong words from a girl
that is so fragile.
Fragile! He calls Fionnoula fragile!
Not so fast, Mr. Terence.
"Not so fast." Is that your new motto?
Motto? (CONTINUES IN
GAELIC LANGUAGE)
This sounds like something that needs
to be settled on the tour course.
What do you say, Terence?
We've got room for one more tourist.
I would love to, but my crew
is off for the season, so...
(LUG NUTS POPPING)
Chicky.
You know what? They just got back.
Deal me in, baby.
-Ka-chow. -(CHEERING)
I know, I know. I just got back,
but we won't be long.
No, don't worry about me.
I've got enough to do here.
Tiana's going to have a blast, though.
You're bringing Tiana, right?
You never bring her to any of your tours.
(SLURPS AND GULPS)
(MUFFLED CRIES)
(SLURPS) Ah.
Just let her sit backstage.
Give her a headset.
Come on, it will be the thrill
of a lifetime for her.
-Your drink, sir. -Tinker Bell.
I didn't taste it!
How'd you like to come
and see the world with me?
-You mean it? -Yeah. You got me into this thing.
-You're coming along. -All right!
Ka-chow!
Ha-ha!
(JET ENGINE ROARS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
(BOTH LAUGH)
Hey!
TINKER BELL: Hey, excuse me!
(IN NORWEGIAN)
-Yeah! -(LAUGHS)
(GONG CRASHES)
POUND: Fellas, look.
Cosmos and basketball.
-Let's go! -Ho-ho! Look at this.
OK, now, Tink, remember, best behavior.
-You got it, buddy. Hey, what's that? -Tink!
Hey, Terence! Over here.
-Bolt! -Hey, man.
-Stone! -Hey, Kermit.
Can you believe this party?
Hey.
You done good. You got all the leaves.
-Check out that Tinker Fairy. -Man, I wonder who that guy's with.
Ah... Will you guys excuse me
just for one little second?
Ho-ho! Good job!
Tinker Bell! Listen,
this isn't Pixie Hollow.
You're just realizing that?
Oh-ho! That jet lag really done
a number on you.
Tink, things are different over here.
Which means maybe you should,
you know, act a little different, too.
-Different than what? -Well, just help me out here.
You need help? Shoot!
Why didn't you say so?
That's what a Tinker Fairy does.
-Yeah, I mean... -Looky there.
It's Mrs. San Francisco. I'll introduce you.
-Tinker Bell, no! -Look at me. I'm helping you already.
Hey, Mrs. San Francisco,
I'd like you to meet...
Ah, Terence! Dia duit.
-Nice to meet you, Fionnoula. -Nice to meet you, too.
You are very good-looking.
Not as good as I thought, but good.
Excuse me. Can I get a picture with you?
Anything for Terence's friend.
Prince Naveen is going to flip
when he sees this.
-(SIGHS) -He's my boyfriend.
-Oooh! -He's a big fan of yours.
Hey, he has a good taste.
Tink's prone to exaggeration.
I wouldn't say he's a "big fan".
You're right. He's a huge fan!
He goes on and on about
your open heels.
Mentioning it once doesn't qualify
as going on and on.
Fionnoula is familiar with this
reaction to Fionnoula.
Women respect a fairy that has
nothing to hide.
Yeah, er...
-Let us have a toast. -Let's.
I dedicate my ovation
tomorrow to Prince Naveen.
Oh. Sorry.
I already dedicated my ovation
tomorrow to him.
So, if we both do it,
it's really not so special.
-Besides, I don't have a drink. -I'll go get you one.
Do you mind if I borrow a few bucks
for one of them drinks?
-They're free. -Free? Shoot, what am I doing here?
I should probably go
keep an eye on her.
See you at the tour.
Yes, you will see Fionnoula,
but not like this.
You will see him like this
as he flies away from you.
Ha! That's cute.
You had one of those made up
for all the tourists?
-No. -(CHUCKLES)
Okay.
-Kiss me, Terence! I'm Irish! -She is so getting beat tomorrow!
PA: Ladies and gentlemen,
Sir Miles Axlerod.
It is my absolute honor
to introduce to you
the tourists in the first ever
International Global Pavilion Inc.
From Brazil, Number 8...
CAPTAIN: All ashore!
Welcome to Arendelle!
(MAN THANKING IN FRENCH)
Watch your step, please.
The gates will be opening soon.
Why do I have to wear this?
Because the queen has come of age.
It's Coronation Day!
That's not my fault.
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
(CHUCKLES) What do you want, Sven?
"Give me a snack."
What's the magic word?
"Please."
Uh! Uh-uh-uh. Share.
I can't believe they're
finally opening up the gates!
And for a whole day! (GIGGLES)
Faster, Percy!
(SIGHS) Arendelle,
our most mysterious trade partner.
Open those gates so I may unlock
your secrets and exploit your riches.
Did I say that out loud?
Oh! Me sore eyes can't wait
to see the queen and the princess.
I bet they are absolutely lovely.
I bet they are beautiful.
(SNORING)
KAI: Princess Anna?
-Princess Anna? -Huh? (CLEARS THROAT) Yeah?
Oh. Sorry to wake you, ma'am.
No, no, no, you didn't. (YAWNS)
I've been up for hours.
(SNORING)
(GASPS) Who is it?
(STAMMERS) Still me, ma'am.
The gates will open soon.
Time to get ready.
Of course. (CLEARS THROAT)
Ready for what?
Your sister's coronation, ma'am.
My sister's corneration.
(GASPS) It's Coronation Day!
(CHUCKLES)
-It's Coronation Day! -(EXCLAIMS)
♪ The window is open!
♪ So's that door!
♪ I didn't know they did that anymore
♪ Who knew we owned 8,000 salad plates?
♪ For years I've roamed these empty halls
♪ Why have a ballroom with no balls?
♪ Finally They're opening up the gates!
♪ There'll be actual, real, live people
♪ It'll be totally strange
♪ But wow! Am I so ready for this change!
♪ 'Cause for the first time in forever
♪ There'll be music
♪ There'll be light
♪ For the first time
♪ In forever
♪ I'll be dancing through the night
♪ Don't know if I'm elated or gassy
♪ But I'm somewhere in that zone
♪ 'Cause for the first time in forever
♪ I won't be alone
(SPEAKING)
I can't wait to meet everyone!
(GASPS) What if I meet the one?
(CHEEPS)
♪ Tonight Imagine me gown and all
♪ Fetchingly draped against the wall
♪ The picture of sophisticated grace
♪ I suddenly see him standing there
♪ A beautiful stranger
♪ Tall and fair
♪ I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face!
♪ But then we laugh and talk all evening
♪ Which is totally bizarre
♪ Nothing like the life I've led so far
♪ For the first time in forever
♪ There'll be magic There'll be fun
♪ For the first time in forever
♪ I could be noticed by someone
♪ And I know it is totally crazy
♪ To dream I'd find romance
♪ But for the first time in forever
♪ At least I've got a chance!
♪ Don't let them in
♪ Don't let them see
♪ Be the good girl
♪ You always have to be
♪ Conceal
♪ Don't feel
♪ Put on a show
♪ Make one wrong move
♪ And everyone will know
♪ But it's only for today
♪ It's only for today
♪ It's agony to wait
♪ Tell the guards to open up
♪ The gate
ANNA: ♪ The gate
♪ For the first time in forever
♪ Don't let them in Don't let them see
♪ I'm getting what I'm dreaming of
♪ Be the good girl
♪ You always have to be
♪ A chance to change
♪ My lonely world
ELSA: ♪ Conceal
♪ A chance to find true love
♪ Conceal, don't feel Don't let them know
♪ I know it all ends tomorrow
♪ So it has to be today!
♪ 'Cause for the first time in forever
♪ For the first time
♪ In forever
♪ Nothing's in my way! ♪
(EXCLAIMING)
(YELPS)
Hey!
I'm so sorry. Are you hurt?
Hey. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Uh... (STUTTERS) No, no, I'm okay.
Are you sure?
Yeah. I just wasn't looking
where I was going.
But I'm great, actually.
Oh... Thank goodness.
Oh! Uh...
Prince Hans of the Southern Isles.
Princess Anna of Arendelle.
"Princess"? My Lady.
-Oh! -(SNORTS)
-Whoa. -Whoa, whoa, whoa...
-(CHUCKLES) Um... -Whew.
Hi. Again.
-(BOTH YELP) -Oh, boy!
This is awkward.
Not "You're awkward,"
but just because we're...
I'm awkward, you're gorgeous.
Wait, what?
I'd like to formally apologize
for hitting the princess
of Arendelle with my horse.
And for every moment after.
No! No, no. It's fine.
I'm not that princess.
I mean, if you had hit my sister Elsa,
it would be... Yeesh! (CHUCKLES)
Because, you know...
-Hello. -(NEIGHS)
But, lucky you,
-it's just me. -(CHUCKLES)
"Just" you?
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-(BELLS CHIMING) -(SIGHS)
The bells. The coronation.
(STUTTERS) I better go.
I have to go. I better go. Uh...
Bye!
(BOARDS CREAKING)
-Oh, no. Oh! -(SPLASHING)
(SPUTTERS)
(WHISTLING)
I'll take one of them. Thank you.
Never know which one Terence
will have a hankering for.
Hey. What you got here that's free?
How about that pistachio ice cream?
-No, no, wasabi. -Same old same old.
What's up with you? That looks delicious!
Er...little more, please. It is free, right?
Keep it coming. A little more.
Come on, let's go. It's free.
You're gettin' there. Scoop, scoop.
There ya go!
Now that's a scoop of ice cream!
(IN JAPANESE)
And now our last tourist.
number 95,
Terence!
Ka-chow!
Thank you so much for having us,
Sir Axlerod.
I really look forward to touring.
This is a great opportunity.
Oh, the pleasure is all ours, Terence.
You and your team bring
excellence and professionalism
to this world's fair.
(SCREAMING)
Somebody get me water! Aah!
Oh, sweet relief. Sweet relief.
(MUTTERING)
(CHUCKLING)
Whatever you do, do not eat
the free pistachio ice cream.
It has turned.
-(VOICE ECHOES) -Sir Axlerod, I can explain.
-This is Tinker Bell. She's... -I know her.
This is the bloke that called
in to the television show.
-You're the one I have to thank. -No, thank you.
This trip's been amazin'.
Ah. She's a little excited, isn't she?
-Tinker Bell! -But wait, I... Oh, shoot.
-Tinker Bell. -Has anyone got a towel?
Tink, get a hold of yourself.
You're making a scene!
-But I never leak dust. Never. -Go take care of yourself right now!
Comin' through! Leakin' dust.
Where's the bathroom? Thank you.
I gotta go. Oh, er...
Er...
(SCREAMING)
Sorry, ladies.
I'm leakin'. I never leak. I never leak.
I never leak, I never leak, I never leak.
Oh, oh, I never leak. Oooh!
I never leak, I never leak, never...
Wow-wee!
(JAUNTY PIPED MUSIC)
What in the...?
(SPEAKS NORWEGIAN)
Hey, that tickles!
(SPEAKS NORWEGIAN)
(GIGGLES)
Waaargh!
Okay, McMissile. I'm here. It's time for the drop.
(BEEPING)
Stop! Hey!
(GIGGLES)
(SPEAKS NORWEGIAN)
Oh! Whatever you do, I would not go in there!
Hey! A Grem and a Acer!
No offense to your makes and models,
but you break down harder than my cousin Betsy
after she got left at the altar!
What the...? Whoa. Are you OK?
I'm fine.
Hey! Tinker Fairy!
We'd like to get to our private business here, if you don't mind.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Don't let me get in the way of your private business.
Oh, a little advice. When you hear a giggle and see that waterfall,
you best press that green button.
Thank you.
It's to adjust the temperature.
Got it.
And it's in Celsius, not Fahrenheit.
BOTH: Get out of here!
All right, then. And when she starts
gigglin', prepare to be squirted.
QUEEN CLARION:
If you had wings to lift you
and the Second Star your guide,
you'd find a place where all the
seasons flourish side by side.
Yet past the Summer Meadow
and beyond the Autumn Wood,
lies an icy land of secrets,
a world misunderstood.
But if your mind is open and your
heart just has to know,
your wings can take you farther
than you ever thought you'd go.
(ALL VOCALIZING IN HARMONY)
(MAN SNORING)
(BISHOP CLEARS THROAT)
Your Majesty, the gloves.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
(CHANTING PRAYER)
(GASPS)
Queen Elsa of Arendelle.
ALL: Queen Elsa of Arendelle!
(ALL CHEERING)
(PLAYING LIVELY MUSIC)
(GUESTS LAUGHING AND CHATTING)
-(MUSIC CEASES) -(APPLAUSE)
Queen Elsa of Arendelle.
Princess Anna of Arendelle.
(PANTING)
-(GIGGLES) -(CLEARS THROAT)
Oh. Here? Are you sure?
Because I don't think I'm supposed to...
Oh. Okay.
(TINKER BELL CLEARS THROAT)
Hi.
"Hi" me? Oh...
Um... Hi.
You look beautiful.
Thank you. (CHUCKLES)
You look beautiful-ler.
I mean, not "fuller." You don't look fuller.
But more beautiful.
(CHUCKLES) Thank you.
So...
This is what a party looks like.
It's warmer than I thought.
What is that amazing smell?
(ALL SNIFFING)
ALL: Chocolate. (CHUCKLING)
KAI: Your Majesty.
-The Duke of Weaseltown. -"Weselton"!
The Duke of Weselton, Your Majesty.
As your closest partner in trade
it seems only fitting
that I offer you
your first dance as queen.
One-two, and jump.
-(GASPS) -(BOTH SNICKERING)
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh...
Thank you. Only, I don't dance.
Oh...
But my sister does.
(CHUCKLES)
-What? -Oh! Lucky you.
Oh, I don't think...
DUKE: If you swoon, let me know.
I'll catch you.
Sorry.
Like an agile peacock.
-(WARBLING) -Ow! Ow.
Speaking of, so great
to have the gates open.
Why did they shut them
in the first place?
Do you know the reason? Hmm?
-No.m-No.
-All right. Hang on! -(GASPS)
They don't call me
the "Little Dipper" for nothing!
Oh-ho!
Like a chicken with the face
of a monkey, I fly.
DUKE: Let me know when you're ready
-for another round, Milady. -(PANTING)
(CHUCKLES) Well, he was sprightly.
(GROANS) Especially for a man in heels.
-Are you okay? -(CHUCKLES)
I've never been better. This is so nice.
I wish it could be like this all the time.
Me, too.
But it can't.
-Why not? -It just can't.
(SIGHS)
Excuse me for a minute.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(SNIFFLING)
-MAN: I'd be honored. -(EXCLAIMING)
(GASPS)
Glad I caught you.
Hans.
-(CHUCKLES) -Oop.
(SOFT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
I often had a whole parlor
to myself to slide!
-Oh! -Oops!
-Sorry. -(CHUCKLES)
Your physique helps, I'm sure, too.
-(CHUCKLES) -Ah.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
What's this?
Uh, I was born with it.
Although, I dreamed
I was kissed by a troll.
I like it.
-Yeah, the whole thing. -(CHUCKLES)
You got it.
Okay, wait, wait.
So, you have how many brothers?
Twelve older brothers.
Three of them pretended I was invisible,
literally, for two years.
That's horrible.
It's what brothers do.
And sisters.
Elsa and I were really close
when we were little.
But then, one day, you just shut me out,
and I never knew why.
I would never shut you out.
(GASPS)
Okay, can I just say something crazy?
I love crazy.
♪ All my life has been A series of doors in my face
♪ And then suddenly I bump into you
♪ I was thinking the same thing, because, like...
♪ I've been searching my whole life
♪ To find my own place
♪ And maybe it's the party talking
♪ Or the chocolate fondue
(CHUCKLES)
♪ But with you
♪ But with you I found my place
♪ I see your face
BOTH: ♪ And it's nothing like I've ever known before
♪ Love is an open
♪ Door!
♪ Love is an open
-♪ Door -♪ Door
BOTH: ♪ Love is an open door
-♪ With you -♪ With you
BOTH: ♪ Love is an open door
(BOTH SNICKER)
-(EXCLAIMS) -(BOTH GRUNT)
-♪ I mean, it's crazy -What? -♪ We finish each other's -♪ Sandwiches
That's what I was gonna say!
♪ I've never met someone
BOTH: ♪ Who thinks so much like me
Jinx! Jinx again!
♪ Our mental synchronization Can have but one explanation
-♪ You -♪ And I
-♪ Were -♪ Just
BOTH: ♪ Meant to be
-♪ Say goodbye -♪ Say goodbye
BOTH: ♪ To the pain of the past
♪ We don't have to feel it anymore
♪ Love is an open door
♪ Love is an open
-♪ Door -♪ Door
BOTH: ♪ Life can be so much more
-♪ With you -♪ With you
BOTH: ♪ Love is an open
-♪ Door -♪ Door
-Can I say something crazy? -(GIGGLES)
-Will you marry me? -(GASPS)
Can I say something even crazier?
Yes!
ANNA: Coming through. HANS: Excuse me. Oh...
ANNA: Pardon. Sorry. WOMAN: Oh!
Can we just get around you there?
Thank you. Oh! There she is.
Elsa!
I mean, Queen. Me again. Um...
May I present Prince Hans
of the Southern Isles.
Your Majesty.
BOTH: We would like...
Uh, your blessing...
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
BOTH: Of our marriage.
-Marriage? -Yes! (SQUEALS)
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
Well, we haven't worked out
all the details ourselves.
We'll need a few days
to plan the ceremony.
Of course, we'll have soup, roast and ice
cream. And then... (GASPS)
Wait. Would we live here?
-Here? -Absolutely!
-Anna! -Oh!
We can invite all 12 of your
brothers to stay with us.
What? No, no, no.
-Of course we have the room. -Wait, slow down.
No one's brothers are staying here.
No one is getting married.
Wait, what?
May I talk to you, please? Alone.
No. Whatever you have to say,
you can say to both of us.
Fine. You can't marry a man you just met.
You can if it's true love.
Anna, what do you know
about true love?
More than you.
All you know is how to shut people out.
(GASPS)
You asked for my blessing,
but my answer is no.
Now, excuse me.
Your Majesty, if I may ease your...
No, you may not. (STUTTERS)
And I think you should go.
The party is over. Close the gates.
-KAI: Yes, Your Majesty. -What?
-Elsa, no, no! Wait. -(GASPS)
Give me my glove, now!
Elsa, please, please.
I can't live like this anymore!
Then leave.
(GASPS)
(SIGHS)
What did I ever do to you?
Enough, Anna.
No, why? Why do you shut me out?
Why do you shut the world out?
What are you so afraid of?
I said, enough!
(GUESTS SHRIEKING)
(GUESTS MUTTERING NERVOUSLY)
Sorcery.
I knew there was something
dubious going on here.
Elsa.
(SIGHS)
WOMAN: There she is!
(ALL CHEERING)
(PERIWINKLE BREATHING HEAVILY)
MAN 1: Yes! It is her!
Queen Elsa.
MAN 2: Our beautiful queen!
Your Majesty? Are you all right?
No.
(GRUNTS)
(ALL GASP)
(ALL GASP IN AWE)
There she is! Stop her!
Please, just stay away from me.
Stay away.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Monster. Monster!
-(BABY CRYING) -(SHUDDERS)
(ALL MURMURING FEARFULLY)
Elsa!
(PANTING)
-ANNA: Elsa! -(GRUNTS)
(GASPS)
Wait, please!
Elsa, stop!
Anna!
No.
The fjord.
-Snow! -Snow?
Yes, snow.
-Are you all right? -No.
Did you know?
No.
Look, it's snowing. It's snowing!
The queen has cursed this land!
She must be stopped!
You have to go after her.
Wait, no!
You! ls there sorcery in you, too?
Are you a monster, too?
No, no. I'm completely ordinary.
That's right, she is.
In the best way.
And my sister is not a monster.
She nearly killed me!
-You slipped on ice. -Her ice.
It was an accident. She was scared.
She didn't mean it.
She didn't mean any of this.
Tonight was my fault. I pushed her.
So, I'm the one
-that needs to go after her. -What?
-Bring me my horse, please. -Anna, no.
It's too dangerous.
(SCOFFS) Elsa is not dangerous.
I'll bring back her, and I'll make this right.
I'm coming with you.
No, I need you here
to take care of Arendelle.
On my honor.
(GRUNTS)
I leave Prince Hans in charge.
(ALL MURMURING)
Are you sure you can trust her?
I don't want you getting hurt.
She's my sister.
She would never hurt me.
(HORSE NEIGHING)
(CROWD MUTTERING)
Wow.
Thanks for seeing me
at my regular booth, Muppets.
-Big fan. Huge. -(MUPPETS MURMURING)
Dominic. International tour manager.
"Dominic Badguy"?
It's pronounced "Bad-gee."
(CLEARS THROAT) It's French.
MUPPETS: Ah!
It means "good man."
-Oh, yes. -Oh!
That's a cool name.
Listen up.
You've conquered IGP Inc.
Not really. We only did one show and...
You're hot. You're having a moment.
But what is inevitable
about a moment? It ends.
I don't want this moment to end!
That's why we got to get out there now
and capitalize on this moment
with a capital "C," yeah?
I want you to conquer the world.
Do an international tour.
Show a global audience what you can do.
-(EXCITED CHATTER) -Yeah, that sounds great
but I'm just not sure...
Wait a second, guys, listen.
I'd love to do that, too.
But we've barely gotten back together.
We don't want to mess that up.
Okay, I am inundated with offers
of management at the moment.
One Direction, U2, Cirque du Soleil.
Just some of the acts I can list.
-(EXCLAIMING IN AWE) -Wow, that's a good list!
Does that mean you've managed?
You heard the man, Pepé.
What else do you want?
And now, I wanna tour manage you guys.
I know you're the boss, Kermit.
I wouldn't interfere with that.
We would share our managerial roles
because you've got a special bond
with these little guys.
-Sure. -(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Uh... Oh! (SCOFFS)
President Clinton?
-(MUPPETS GASPING) -What?
I'm on my way, Number Two.
Great, they're taking the bait.
-Well, he seems like a nice guy. -ROWLF: Yeah.
Humble and honest.
I just... I think we have to get
settled first, you know?
Hone the show, get some new material,
and then maybe go on a world tour.
DOMINIC: See you in Berlin.
CONSTANTINE: Yes. Auf Wiedersehen,
Number Two.
(CHUCKLES EVILLY)
So...
What's it gonna be, Muppets?
Ready to be world famous?
No pressure, but I am a very busy man.
-(CELL PHONE RINGING) -Oh!
That's Rihanna. I really should take this.
(MUPPETS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
World tour! World tour!
I want to go on a world tour now!
World tours are easy.
SWEDISH CHEF: Turkey!
JANICE: You know, like,
Katy Perry just did one.
Look, we can't just blindly jump at the
first offer that comes along!
Kermit, weren't you listening?
We're having a moment.
This may be our only chance to
become world famous.
BUNSEN: That's right, Mr. Kermit, sir.
-Now it's our only chance. -(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Well, I mean...
I guess we could always hone our acts
on the road, and that would be okay.
Wouldn't it, Kermit?
ANIMAL: World tour! World tour!
Come on, froggy!
(INDISTINCTLY TALKING CONTINUES)
Okay, let's do it.
-Dominic, you're hired. -(CHEERING)
Thanks, Kermit. I mean, boss.
You won't regret this.
Welcome aboard.
Oh, Kermie. This is so exciting.
There's nothing more romantic
than a European wedding.
Paris, or Rome, or London, or...
Wedding? Piggy,
what are you talking about?
There you are. Where have you been?
What's a "rendezvous"?
Er... It's like a date.
A date?
Tink, what's going on?
What's going on is I got me a date tomorrow.
(SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE)
Bupkus don't believe you.
Believe it. My new boyfriend just said so.
Hey, there he is. Hey! Hey, prince!
See you tomorrow!
(SPEAKS ALIEN LANGUAGE)
Bupkus still don't believe you.
I got to admit, you tricked us real good.
And we don't like being tricked.
(CHUCKLES)
ACER: What's so funny?
Well, I was just wearing a disguise.
You guys are stuck looking like that.
Incanta? Thanks, fellas. I hear this stuff is good for you.
So you think.
Incanta by itself is good for you.
(WHIRRING)
But after microscopic examination
I have found that it has one small weakness.
When hit with an electromagnetic pulse,
it becomes extremely dangerous.
Smile for the camera.
Is that all you want? I got a whole act.
You were very interested in this camera on the dust platform.
Now, you will witness what it really does.
Whatever you say, Professor.
You talked up a lot of fairies last night.
Which one's your associate?
Your mother.
Oh, no, I'm sorry, it was your sister.
I can't tell them apart these days.
Could I start it now, Professor Z?
ZÜNDAPP: Go 50% power.
(WHIRRING)
This camera is actually an electromagnetic pulse emitter.
What about him? Did you give it to him?
The Incanta is now heating to a boil,
dramatically expanding, causing the pixie block to crack under the stress,
forcing oil into the combustion chamber.
How about her? Did you talk to her?
What do I care? I can replace an pixie block.
You may be able to, but after full impact of the pulse...
unfortunately... there will be nothing to replace.
ACER: How about her? Does she have it?
That's her. She's the one.
Roger that, Professor Z.
No!
Yes, sir.
We believe the infiltrator has passed along sensitive information.
I will take care of it before any damage can be done.
The project is still on schedule.
You will find the second agent and kill her.
(WHIRRING)
♪ The snow glows white On the mountain tonight
♪ Not a footprint to be seen
♪ A kingdom of isolation
♪ And it looks like I'm the queen
♪ The wind is howling
♪ Like this swirling storm inside
♪ Couldn't keep it in Heaven knows I tried
♪ Don't let them in Don't let them see
♪ Be the good girl You always have to be
♪ Conceal, don't feel Don't let them know
♪ Well, now they know
♪ Let it go! Let it go!
♪ Can't hold me back anymore
♪ Let it go! Let it go!
♪ Turn away and slam the door
♪ I don't care
♪ What they're going to say
♪ Let the storm rage on
♪ The cold never bothered me anyway
♪ It's funny how some distance Makes everything seem small
♪ And the fears that once controlled me
♪ Can't get to me at all
♪ It's time to see what I can do
♪ To test the limits and break through
♪ No right, no wrong
♪ No rules for me
♪ I'm free!
♪ Let it go!
♪ Let it go!
♪ I am one with the wind and sky
♪ Let it go! Let it go!
♪ You'll never see me cry
♪ Here I stand
♪ And here I'll stay
♪ Let the storm rage on
♪ My power flurries through the air
♪ Into the ground
♪ My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals
♪ All around
♪ And one thought crystallizes Like an icy blast
♪ I'm never going back
♪ The past is in the past
♪ Let it go! Let it go!
♪ And I'll rise like the break of dawn
♪ Let it go! Let it go!
♪ That perfect girl is gone
♪ Here I stand
♪ In the light of day
♪ Let the storm rage on!
♪ The cold never bothered me anyway ♪
BRENT: Germany, land of the rising sun,
where ancient tradition meets
modern technology.
Welcome to the inaugural running
of the IGP Inc. world tour.
I'm Brent Musburger with legends
Lewis Kazagger and David Hobbs.
There's never been a competition
like this before.
First, Incanta, making its debut tonight
as the required pixie dust
for all these great champions.
Second, the course itself.
And it's like nothing
we've ever seen before.
David, how exactly does this
competition work?
All three of these street courses
are classic round-the-house pavilions.
This means that the LMP
and lucky fairies
should break out of the gate
in spectacular fashion.
Look for Fionnoula MacLise,
in particular, to lead early.
And with technical turns throughout,
GT and touring fairies,
like Spain's Miguel Camino,
should make up ground
but I doubt it'll be enough
to stop Fionnoula
from absolutely running away with it.
Whoa now. Hold your horsepower.
You forget the most important factor -
that early basketball section of the course.
The basketball is supposed
to be the equalizer in this tour.
BRENT:
French rally fairy Raoul CaRoule
is counting on a big boost through there.
LEWIS: And don't forget Terence.
His mentor, Air Jordan,
was one of the greatest
basketball players of all time.
In my opinion, Terence is the best
all-around player in this competition.
Really, Lewis, you need to
clean your windshield.
You're clearly not seeing this for
what it is: Fionnoula's show to lose.
BRENT: It's time to find out. The
tourists are boarding their tour trains.
(WOMAN ANNOUNCING
INDISTINCTLY OVER PA)
KERMIT: Is everybody here? Yeah?
Okay, guys, guys.
Gather round and listen up.
If we're going to go on a world tour,
I thought we should travel in classic style.
So... I booked us a tour train!
(ALL CLAMORING EXCITEDLY)
No, guys, not that train. This train.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
Isn't she a beauty?
(ALL SIGH DISAPPOINTEDLY)
All aboard, guys!
Beauregard's licensed to drive a train?
It's like a big car, but with no
steering wheel, so it's easier.
Get them up and move them out.
All aboard, Dominic.
I didn't know there was still third class.
Third class? How about no class?
(BOTH LAUGH)
Oh!
Watch the heels!
Piggy. Why do you need
so much luggage?
For our honeymoon, of course!
-For our what? -FOZZIE: Hey, guys!
The dining car has an observation deck.
Oh, wait, the dining car
doesn't have a roof.
TERENCE: Faith, trust. And pixie dust.
(FIONNOULA LAUGHS)
Really? You are third class?
Then Fionnoula is first class.
Fionnoula is first class.
Ho-ho! Fionnoula likes this Kermit.
It's really getting him into the zone.
-She is so getting beat today. -(WHISTLE BLOWS)
BEAUREGARD: Let's go, guys!
Oh! Oh.
That must be reverse.
Oh, well. This way looks good, too.
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
KERMIT: Okay, Dominic, I thought
we could start our world tour in London.
DOMINIC: Or how about
the world capital of comedy?
Berlin, Germany.
-(MUPPETS CHEERING) -ANIMAL: Germany!
Hmm?
Uh...
Was that supposed to happen?
(CHATTER FROM TOUR CREWS)
Your suspension sets look good.
Moron Mountain pressure is excellent!
He's got plenty of pixie dust.
And he's awesome.
(CHANTING)
♪ We'll be there at the first breath of spring
(LAUGHING)
♪ When the birds start to sing and the grass starts growing
♪ We'll be there in the still summer heat
♪ With the meadow's gleaming gold
♪ We'll be there on the crisp autumn days
♪ With the leaves all ablaze in the cool breeze blowing
♪ We'll be there for it all every year
(LAUGHING)
♪ As we've been since days of old
♪ For what if the world is wider than we ever knew?
♪ And through all the seasons didn't we dream of something more?
♪ What if we brave the great unknown?
♪ What if we're not so all alone?
♪ What if it's you I'm searching for? ♪
KERMIT: Oh, you guys are
gonna love this place.
-Hmm? -Uh...
Okay, here we are, guys.
The Hole in the Wall Club!
"Die Muppets"?
Looks like they put the reviews up early.
Yeah, or is that the suggestion box?
(BOTH LAUGHING)
It's actually "The Muppets" in German.
MISS PIGGY: "Hole in the Wall Club"?
More like "Hole in the Ground Club."
Okay, everybody.
So, we'll start at the bottom
and work our way up.
I've booked us into cabaret bars
and coffee houses
all across the industrial cities
of Northern Germany.
Dusseldorf, Hamburg,
Mudburg, Vomitdorf.
Poopenburgen?
Fozzie, we have a solid week
booked in Poopenburgen.
Kermit, we are professional performers.
Actors, musicians, and...
Others.
Gee, guys, nobody ever
said this would be easy.
We have to start small.
Then go huge?
Well, then go slightly less small.
And then a touch less small until
we're small-to-medium-small.
(ALL GROAN)
DOMINIC: This looks great.
And I think we should commend
Kermit on his efforts.
KERMIT: Thank you, Dominic. Thanks.
-Or, if I might be so bold, -Uh-huh?
...maybe we could
consider another venue.
Another venue?
Follow me, Muppets.
To be precise, this other venue.
-MUPPETS: Whoa! -Look at that theater!
What? No, no.
We don't have the money
to rent the Berlin National Theater!
We'll make our money back
when we sell it out.
Kermie, I've always dreamed of
playing the Berlin National Theater.
"Ich bin ein Berliner."
More like, "Ein frankfurter"!
-(MUPPETS CHUCKLING) -Watch it, buster.
Guys, I'm not sure we can
do this, you know?
DOMINIC:
Okay, let's put this to the vote.
All those in favor of believing
in ourselves,
raise your hands.
-(INDISTINCTLY TALKING)-That's not what I'm saying.
And all those in favor of just giving up.
(SIGHING)
I can't believe I'm voting for giving up.
Good. Well, I'm glad we
made this decision.
Oh, wonderful!
So cool!
WALTER: Isn't that exciting.
I can't believe it.
All right, gather round, troops.
Everybody?
-(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY) -Okay, guys.
Since we're playing such a big theater,
let's stick with what we know.
We'll open with a cabaret number....
Kermit, when do I do
the indoor running of the bulls?
(BULL BELLOWING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Mr. Kermit, sir?
I would very much like to demonstrate
my magnetic bomb-attractor vest.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Bunsen, why would you even
invent one of those?
Why did I invent the automatic
drowning helmet?
The extra sharp chair?
Or the unexpectedly exploding cupcake?
-(SCREAMS) -(ALL GASP)
Because it's there, Kermit.
Because it's there.
Hey, what about Muppet Ladder?
Muppet Ladder? That's never,
ever worked, Gonzo.
Last time we all tried that
was 20 years ago
and you ended up in a cast for six months.
Yeah, good times.
Kermit, what if I do Celine Dion's
four or five musical numbers?
You know Celine Dion,
she works in Las Vegas.
No, Piggy, there's no time for that.
What about the band's
marathon jam session?
Drum solo! Drum solo!
No drum solo!
(ALL TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Guys, guys, guys!
We can't just do whatever we want.
This is our opening night.
Let's play to our strengths, because...
(SIGHS)
Well...
Look, I didn't want to worry you guys
but if we don't sell this theater out,
it would mean the end of the tour.
-(ALL GASP) -GONZO: What?
And maybe the end of us.
Great news, Muppets. We're sold out.
What?
(ALL TALKING EXCITEDLY)
Fine.
I mean, great, great. Well done, Dominic.
Hey, I have an amazing idea for an act.
It's called
"The Indoor Running of the Bulls."
Gonzo, I've told you,
that act is far too dangerous.
Actually, Kermit, I was asking
Dominic what he thinks.
Good grief.
MISS PIGGY:
Dominic, Dominic! Five songs.
(ALL CLAMORING)
"Sold out." Like we've sold
out a show in 30 years.
Ahem.
Is this a good time to discuss
our upcoming European wedding?
No, actually, I'm kind of busy right now.
Perfect!
I have 23 swatches for the seat
covers for the reception,
eight font choices for the menu,
which, by the way,
we are not serving flies.
Piggy, what are you talking about?
I'm just trying to involve you in some
of the decision-making, dear.
What about being involved in the decision
to get married in the first place, huh?
Oh, Kermit, you never
let me do what I want!
Oh, yeah?
Well, what about what I want, huh?
What about that?
Well, that's because you always
want too much, Piggy.
I haven't even proposed yet.
-You can do that in our honeymoon. -What? (STAMMERING)
That's insane!
Do you hear what you're saying?
That's crazy!
Insane? How dare you call
you fiancé insane?
You are not my fiancé!
We are not engaged!
How can we get married
if I've never even asked you to marry me?
And, as a matter of fact,
the way this particular conversation
is going right now... Well...
I'm fine with that!
(BARKING)
(WHIMPERING)
You never loved me, Kermit.
I do love you, Piggy.
But sometimes you drive me crazy!
-(GASPS) -(FOO FOO GROWLING)
-KERMIT: Piggy, wait! I'm sorry! -(FOO FOO BARKING)
Get out!
(KERMIT SIGHS)
(DOMINIC SIGHS)
Don't take it personally, Kermit.
They still love you.
They just prefer me now.
Uh, thank you, Dominic.
That's very comforting.
Do you know what I think helps
sometimes in situations like this?
What?
I find a walk alone in the fog
in former East Berlin.
Maybe along a deserted canal,
tends to calm the mind.
Well, I guess a quiet stroll
is not a bad idea.
Let the others know I've gone, will you?
Sure. I promise. I promise I'll do that.
Thanks. (CLEARS THROAT) Ah.
(MAN SHOUTING IN GERMAN)
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
(GREETS IN GERMAN)
(CHILDREN SHOUTING PLAYFULLY)
-(WHIMPERS) -WOMAN: Corrine, come here!
(GIRL GASPING)
(SIGHS)
-Boo. -(KERMIT SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
What just happened?
(WOMAN SPEAKING GERMAN)
(IN ENGLISH) What?
Wait a second.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Hold on, hold on!
There must be some mistake!
Don't you know me? I'm Kermit the Frog!
Silence, Constantine. The game is up.
Who?
(GASPS AND SCREAMS)
No, no! Wait a minute!
I'm Kermit the Frog!
Guys, this is a mistake!
I'm telling you! (SCREAMS)
Hey, hey! Hello! Somebody!
-Open up! -(SIREN BLARING)
I'm an Amphibian-American!
It's not easy being mean.
(SNICKERING)
BRENT: As they head into the palace
hairpin, Fionnoula builds an early lead.
LEWIS: Hang on, boys.
Here comes the court.
Slipping and sliding.
TINKER BELL: Terence,
it's time to make your move!
Get on the outside and show 'em
what the Royal Airness taught you.
10-4, Tink.
DAVID: Oh, boy! Fionnoula's brought
to a screeching halt!
BRENT: Terence is the first
to take advantage.
And just like that, folks,
Fionnoula's lead is left in the court.
TERENCE: Nice call, Tink. Keep it up.
LEWIS: Whoo-hoo!
Terence looks happier than a roll bar
at a demolition derby!
BRENT: Everyone's jostling for position
as we hit the asphalt again.
Fionnoula lost a lot of momentum
in the court.
DAVID: He's got serious work ahead of
him if he wants to get back in this tour.
BRENT: The tourists hit the Lederhosen
Factory, with its foggy dense.
(FAIRIES' BELLS JINGLING)
-ZÜNDAPP: It is time. -Roger that.
LEWIS: Oh! Miguel Camino
has blown a pixie!
BRENT: Very unusual, Lewis.
He's been so consistent all year.
-You gotta be kidding me. -What is it?
The Tinker Fairy from the bathroom. -The bathroom?
The one the American agent passed the device to.
-What about her? -She's in the dressing room!
Not for long.
FAIRY MARY: Look sharp, everyone!
The snowy owls will soon be arriving
to take the snowflake baskets
to the Winter Woods.
Lucinda, stop noodling and start tinkering.
(GRUNTS)
Is that the last load?
-(SQUEAKS) -Thanks, Cheese.
Basket weaving
is my favorite thing, Bobble.
Really? I'm partial to macrame.
Guten Tag, Clank. Guten Tag, Bobble.
BOTH: Good afternoon!
That should be enough to finish
the snowflake baskets.
Aye, that will do her.
-Thanks. -(GASPS)
-(WHISPERS) Clanky. -Oh! Sorry. (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) I can't believe
we make the baskets,
but don't get to take them
to the Winter Fairies.
I mean, wouldn't you want to go
into the Winter Woods?
(BOTH GASP)
Oh, we wouldn't last a day in that cold.
Besides, I'm afraid of glaciers.
Glaciers?
They're known for their stealth.
He's never actually seen one.
You never do!
(HORN BLOWS)
FAIRY MARY: The snowy owls!
(BLOWING)
Places, everyone!
Clank, Bobble, get that basket up.
Right! Got it, Fairy Mary!
Start the pulley!
(OWLS TWITTERING)
They're owls.
Guys, to much chatter.
Let's keep this line clear.
BRENT: Smoke from number 10,
Clutchgoneski!
Ha-ha-ha!
Ooh! Newcomer.
(HIGH-PITCHED TWITTERING)
Wow.
The final shipment order.
Oh, goodness! They need 20 more
baskets for tomorrow's pickup.
(GASPS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
There's a whole other world over there.
Well done, everyone!
The first shipment is headed for Winter.
But there's much more to do
for tomorrow's pickup,
so this is no time to rest on your laurels.
Lucinda, get off your laurel
and get to work.
FAWN: Look out!
Runaway bunny!
(BOTH GASP)
No!
-Got you! -Thanks, Tink.
No problem, Fawn.
Come on, little guy. It's still a long
way to the Winter Woods.
Oh, you're taking the animals today?
What?
Trying to.
It's time for them to cross the border,
but this little guy is a handful.
Hey, uh, how about if I help?
-Stay outside. Got you. -Outside?
BRENT: Whoa! Terence suddenly
passes out on the outside.
(SPEAKS GAELIC)
LEWIS: I cannot believe what I saw.
That was a bonehead move to
open up the inside like that!
DAVID: That might have cost
Terence the victory!
(SCREAMING)
Slow down! Slow down!
-Need some help? -Nope. Doing fine.
FAWN: That lost thing really is handy.
Yeah.
Heel, Hoppy, heel! Slow down!
(YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
Wow.
(WHIMPERS)
Oh, don't be scared, little fellow.
We'll let the weasels go first.
Come on. Come on.
(STRAINING) Come on!
So, how far do we take the animals in?
-Uh, Tink, we don't cross the border. -Huh?
We just help the animals cross.
But I thought Mammal Fairies
got to cross with the animals.
Tink, it's freezing over there.
Besides, no Warm Fairies
are allowed in the Winter Woods.
Just like Winter Fairies aren't
allowed over here.
Who made up that rule?
I think it was the Lord of Winter.
Winter has a lord?
All right, guys. You ready?
(CHATTERING)
-Wow. -Pretty great, huh?
It's incredible.
FAWN: They get their winter coats
to protect them from the cold.
(CHUCKLES) Your turn. Go on.
Go on, now. Follow your brothers.
(LAUGHS)
(GIGGLES)
Bye-bye!
All right, big guy. (GASPS)
-(SNORING) -Oh, no.
No hibernating yet.
-You do that in winter! -(YAWNS)
Come on. Come on!
Wake up. Wake up.
Oh...
Come on.
-(SNORING) -Wake up.
Rise and shine.
Ooh!
(SHIVERS)
Ooh!
(CHUCKLES)
DAVID: And here they come,
the two leaders.
Bumper to bumper as
they approach the finish line!
(GASPS)
Oh...
FAWN: Tink!
Tink!
-Tinker Bell! -What?
(GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
-It's close! -BRENT: Fionnoula's the winner!
Terence's number two.
(FIREWORKS WHIZZ AND POP)
Oh, Tink! I told you,
we're not allowed to cross.
(GASPS)
Your wings.
I know!
They were sparkling.
They're freezing!
We'd better get you to a
Healing Talent Berliner.
-But... -Come on.
-Fionnoula! -Fionnoula, over here.
What was your strategy today?
Strategia? Fionnoula needs no strategy.
It's very simple.
You start the show, wait for Terence
to choke, pass him, then win.
Fionnoula always wins. It's boring.
LEWIS: You were in trouble for a while.
That waltz section had you crawling.
To truly crush one's dream, you must
first raise their hopes very high.
-Tinker Bell! -Hey, Terence! What happened?
Is the show over? You won, right?
Why were you yelling at me
while I was racing?
Yelling? Oh, you thought...
That's funny right there.
No, that's 'cause I seen these
snowy owls doing
some basket delivery performance.
It was nutso. One of 'em even had a lasso.
A lasso? What are you talking about?
-I don't understand. Where were you? -Going to meet my date.
Your date?
He started talkin' to me as a voice
in my head, tellin' me where to go.
-What? -Wait a minute.
-I didn't screw ya up, did I? -I lost the race because of you!
Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.
An imaginary boyfriend? Flamethrowers?
This is exactly why I don't bring
you along to these things.
Maybe if I, I don't know
talk to somebody and explained
what happened, I could help.
I don't need your help!
I don't want your help!
FEMALE REPORTER: Hey, there he is!
-Terence, you had it in the bag! -Yeah! What happened?
I made a mistake.
But I can assure you,
it won't happen again.
Look, we know what the problem
is and we've taken care of it.
(REPORTERS CALL OUT)
BRENT: Terence the dust keeper loses
in the last lap to Fionnoula MacLise
in the first tour
of the World Global Pavilion Inc.
And three - count 'em -
three fairies flamed out
leaving some to suggest that their fuel,
Incanta, might be to blame.
Incanta is safe.
Alternative pixie dust is safe.
There is no way my dust caused
these fairies to flame out.
The jury may still be out on whether
Incanta caused these accidents,
but one thing's for sure,
Terence blew this race.
BRENT: Team Fairies
can't be happy right now.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(BUZZES)
May I help you?
How much longer?
I told you, a rainbow collision
is not an emergency.
But the purple's starting to itch.
Take a seat.
(GRUNTS)
(BUZZES)
Oh. Snapdragon, right?
Mmm-hmm.
Not an emergency. Plant it over there.
Thank you.
IRIDESSA: Hurry, girls.
What if we're too late?
(CLEARING THROAT)
-Oh. Sorry. Do you know... -Window.
(BUZZING)
-Uh, uh, uh, uh! -(BUZZING STOPS)
Patient's name?
ALL: Tinker Bell.
Oh, yes. The border crosser. She's...
Frozen solid?
-Room two. -ROSETTA: Oh, my.
-SILVERMIST: Thank you. -Mmm-hmm.
IRIDESSA: This way! ROSETTA: Come on, girls. Hurry.
IRIDESSA: She's right over here.
Room two.
-There she is. -IRIDESSA: Tink!
We got here as quick as we could.
We did have to stop at reception.
-Did you really cross? -(SHUSHES)
Well, did you?
Shh!
-Hmm... -Whoa.
ALL: Shh!
Mmm-hmm.
Okay. You're all warmed up.
Let's test your wings.
Oh. Sure.
Open.
Mmm. Close.
And try a little flap.
A flutter.
Can you give me a flitter?
Okay. Well, I don't see anything unusual.
Your wings appear to be fine.
(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)
But what about the sparkling?
It must have been the light
reflecting off the snow.
-But... -You should have never
crossed the border.
Winter is too cold for
our Warm Fairy wings.
Now, to be safe,
I want you to take two pearls
and come back if there is any problem.
-Thank you. -Mmm-hmm.
We were worried, Tink.
Oh! You are so lucky nothing
happened to your wings.
Can you imagine?
But something did happen. They sparkled!
But you heard her. It was just the
light reflecting off the snow.
No, it wasn't. They actually lit up.
It was brighter than a thousand fireflies.
You saw it. Didn't you, Fawn?
No.
You don't believe me?
Who... Um...
Uh... No?
Look, you guys, it happened. It felt like...
-Like... -Like what?
Like the Winter Woods was calling me.
You know?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Not really.
(WHISPERING) Get the doctor.
TINKER BELL: Animal Fairy Books,
101 Uses for Pixie Dust...
Beauty and the Bees...
There's got to be a
wing book here somewhere.
Rules for Rainbow Riding. No, not that.
Huh? Hey.
Someone's been eating the books!
(GULPS)
Bookworms.
Oh. What's this?
Ah!
Light reading.
Dustology, windology...
A-ha!
Wingology. That's got to have it.
Stop it, Tinker Bell. Just sign off.
(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)
Oh!
Got you!
Ahem.
Sorry.
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, let's see.
Wing care. Wing washing. Wing tips.
"Don't get them wet."
Everybody knows that.
Sizes, shapes, flapping, fluttering.
(GASPS) Sparkling! I knew it!
Oh!
(GRUNTS IN ANNOYANCE)
Sorry. Found it!
Huh?
Oh, no.
Thanks a lot.
Hmm.
Okay.
"Sparkling wings.
When a most incredible...
"...that the sparkle... there were two."
Huh?
"That the sparkle... There were two."
Two wings? Two feet?
(SIGHS) Two what?
-Psst. -Oh!
-Yes? -Hey.
Do you know anything
about sparkling wings?
No. The bookworm ate that page.
Yeah, I know.
But the Keeper does.
The Keeper? Who's the Keeper?
(CHUCKLES)
He writes the books.
He is the keeper of all fairy knowledge.
That's perfect. Is he here?
I have to talk to him.
(CHUCKLING) I would give anything
to talk to him. But you can't.
Why not?
Because he's a Winter Fairy.
In order to talk to him, you would
have to go to the Winter Woods.
And that's impossible.
Your wings will freeze and...
Chapter 16.
Hmm. The Winter Woods.
(MUPPETS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Has anyone seen Kermit?
Whoa!
It's 15 minutes to curtain.
Hi, guys. Look, it's Kermit,
just back from his afternoon stroll.
Hi-lo! I am Kermit.
-What... -Hmm.
DOMINIC: He's got a cold.
That's why his voice
sounds a little bit different at the moment.
-(ALL AGREEING) -(COUGHS)
See? Just calm down. Just relax.
-You are right. Dominic is terrific! -Aw.
From now on, let's do whatever
he says. Hmm?
ALL: All right. Yeah.
Wow, that walk must have really helped.
Miss Pig, I have wronged you.
I humbly beg your forgiveness.
You're not getting off that easy, bucko.
Come on, Foo Foo. (HARRUMPHS)
(SNIFFING) Bad frog! Bad frog!
(YELLING)
What is this? Let go, dog!
Animal, stop it!
Kermit has agreed that Dominic
is right all the time, man.
DOMINIC: Good.
So, now that Kermit agrees
with me on everything...
-I am Kermit. -Definitely.
Let's go and hang out backstage, yeah?
Okay, all right.
Come, little friend.
Let us get on with the show and
enjoy our family-style adventure
during which we shall bond
and learn heartwarming lesson.
Perhaps about sharing,
or waiting your turn,
or the number three. Hmm?
Um...
Right, Kermit. Uh...
Sure.
Flawlessly executed. Bravo.
What did you expect from
world's most dangerous frog
and number one criminal, Number Two?
Yeah, I know. You're Number One,
I'm Number Two.
I think you mentioned that
before in a few times.
Now that we control the
Muppet tour, Number Two,
phase one of our plan is complete.
We are now positioned to
carry out greatest...
(MUMBLING)
Burgle...
Burgle...
-"Burglary." -Yes.
...of all time, and pin it
on those gullible Muppets,
who will spend the rest of their
miserable lives behind bars.
-Hmm. -Tonight,
we steal the painting
and then we'll have all we need
to steal the unstealable, the
Crown Jewels of England.
Ensuring that my name goes
down in history
as the greatest thief of all time!
You mean our names, right?
Of course.
My name first, then spacebar,
spacebar, spacebar, your name.
DOMINIC: Sure.
♪ I'm Number One You're Number Two
♪ We're criminals at large But I'm at larger than you
♪ I'm Number One
♪ You're Number Two
♪ I believe in equality
♪ As long as you get less than me
-♪ I'm one -♪ You're one
♪ You're number two
♪ I'm Number Two.
♪ You may think that you're smarter
♪ But I'm smarterer than you
♪ I'm Number One You're Number Two
♪ You're lucky to be Number Two
-♪ Not number three -(GROANS)
♪ I can see by the look in your eye
♪ You want to get a bigger piece of the pie
♪ One day you'll get your chance
♪ But in the meantime
♪ You've got to dance, monkey, dance!
Really? I'm not a dance major.
Do it!
♪ Dance, monkey, dance!
Ha-ha!
(CONSTANTINE GRUNTING)
♪ I'm Number Two He's Number One
♪ I can't believe I'm working for an amphibian
♪ I'm Number Two He's Number One
♪ I'm Number One!
♪ You know life's gone to the dogs
♪ When your boss is a frog
♪ I can see it's just a matter of time
♪ Before he's gone
♪ And I'm at the front of the line
♪ It won't be long till I get my chance
♪ But in the meantime
♪ I've got to dance, monkey, dance
♪ Dance, monkey, dance
Now, watch me.
Ha-ha!
(EXCLAIMS)
(GROANS)
-♪ I'm Number One -♪ He's Number One
-♪ You're Number Two -♪ I'm Number Two
♪ That's it, kid There you go
♪ Now step aside This ain't your show
-♪ I'm One -♪ "I'm One"
♪ I'm Number One
♪ Yes, we know
-♪ I'm... -♪ He's...
BOTH: ♪ Number One! ♪
That's how it's done.
-(KNOCKING ON DOOR) -(DOOR OPENS)
15 seconds to curtain... Kermit?
Sure.
Uh... Okay.
(GRUNTS)
Have you studied your Kermit tapes yet?
Of course not. This is child's play
for frog of my talent. (GRUNTS)
(SIGHS)
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome...
"Study Kermit tapes." Nonsense.
It's...
Oh, no.
Uh...
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
Kermit! Introduce the show.
-(GRUNTS) -(AUDIENCE GASPING)
(STAMMERING)
It's the Muppet Show!
With our very special guest star,
Christoph Waltz!
Yay!
What is happening? Why am I flying?
Whoa. (SCREAMS)
-(GROANS) -(ALL GASP)
-What the... -We gotta do something!
(STAMMERING)
(SPEAKING IN GERMAN)
Please welcome our first act,
Australian superstar...
Not Australian. Austrian. Austrian.
Yeah, of course. Yes, right.
Cancel the Waltzing Matilda
opening Australian number.
But we rehearsed it.
-What? -Jeez Louise.
Sorry. Austrian superstar...
Herr Christoph Waltz dances the waltz!
(WALTZ PLAYING)
(ALL HUMMING)
-Darling, you set my world on fire. -Oh!
Did somebody say "explosion"?
No! He says I set his world on fire.
There it is again!
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING)
Wait for me! Please! Wait for me.
(LAUGHING MANICALLY)
(ALL GASP)
(GRUNTS)
One more!
SWEETUMS: Keep waltzing, Mr. Waltz!
Hey!
It was, uh, a stomach bug and vertigo.
Not stage fright, if that's what
you're thinking, Number Two.
Sure.
(GRUNTING)
DOMINIC: Colonel Thomas Blood.
Right, now to cover our tracks.
-(ALARM RINGING) -(GASPS)
Let's get out of here!
(PANTING)
(POLICE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO)
CIA.
Interpol!
What is the CIA doing here?
This is my jurisdiction.
Not to mention, my badge is bigger.
One of the stolen paintings was on loan
from the New York Metropolitan
Museum of Art.
So, this is CIA jurisdiction.
Also, this is my travel badge.
-Here's my real badge. -Oh.
You must have been
looking at the wrong...
-Badge! -What?
(SIGHS) You've won this round, Pierre.
-My name is "Jean." -Okay, Shawn.
It looks like we're gonna be
working together.
But that doesn't mean I have to like you.
I didn't like you first.
I didn't like you before I met you.
So, what have we got?
Two priceless paintings stolen
and one average painting
-of an obscure English colonel stolen. -Hmm.
This has all the markings of the
work of the Lemur.
What's a lemur?
Only the second most wanted
criminal in the world.
And my personal nemesis.
Unfortunately for me,
his identity is a mystery.
No, literally, what is a lemur?
Oh. It is also a rat-monkey
from Madagascar.
-Oh. -A-ha!
Just as I suspected.
This coin is his calling card.
The Lemur, he is playing with us.
I have a delivery here for Mr. Eagle.
Right here.
-And here's your rope. -Mmm.
You were saying?
Here is the lemur file.
It is everything we have on him.
FAIRY MARY: Hurry, now, hurry!
Let's finish up. Stand by with the pulley.
All right! It's this season's final pickup,
so let's make it our best.
Lucinda, let's leave the loafing
for the Baking Fairies.
-BOBBLE: Okay, Clanky. -Right!
Ouch!
Snowflake release system working!
BOBBLE: Maybe you should
be the test snowflake for a while.
-Tink? -Huh?
We already checked that basket.
Right. Uh...
(GROANS)
(SIGHS)
Why are you dressed all cozy?
I'm going to the Winter Woods.
-(BOTH GASP) -(LOUDLY) The Winter Woods?
Shh!
(WHISPERING) The Winter Woods?
-(HORN BLOWS) -FAIRY MARY: Places, everyone!
The snowy owls. They're here!
FAIRY MARY: Start the pulley!
Bye!
(BOTH STAMMERING)
CLANK: Tink! Wait!
You can't cross the border, Miss Bell.
Your wings!
Don't worry. They're in my coat.
Does this have to do with the... (GASPS)
-The sparkling? -Yes.
There's somebody in Winter
who can tell me what it means.
Clank! Bobble! Is something wrong
with that basket?
What? Oh.
(BOTH STAMMERING)
Tink?
I just have to do this.
No, no. Everything is fine.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
We're just sad to see it go. Pretty basket.
Oh! Honestly. Let it go!
That's the new one.
-Uh, new one? -Mmm-hmm.
(SQUEALS)
(SNEEZES)
-(CRIES OUT IN PANIC) -(SCREECHING)
Excellent work, everyone.
They're off to the cold of winter.
Well, that's that until next year.
(SHIVERING)
Wow. I made it.
SLED: Welcome back.
A Winter Fairy.
-SLED: You ready for the drop-off? -(OWL SQUAWKS)
Come on. You did it yesterday.
You'll be fine.
All right then. Here we go.
(EXCLAIMS)
Ah!
(SCREAMING)
SNOW FAIRIES: Look out!
SLED: Sorry about that.
(SIGHS)
Oh, no.
(GASPS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
(OWL TWITTERS)
(GASPS)
Lord Milori.
(GASPS)
And what happened here?
A bit of a bumpy landing.
It's only his second drop-off.
As long as the basket made it,
I'd say he did just fine.
-(SIGHS) -How was the crossing?
Four bunnies,
two weasels, and a marmot.
And they all crossed safely.
Yes. I met up with them on the north side.
The snowflakes are
looking quite beautiful.
(CHUCKLES) No two alike.
No, no, no.
LORD MILORI: Ambitious.
Hmm.
Now that is odd.
Oh!
It must have been left in the
basket by accident.
Return this to The Keeper.
(GASPS) The Keeper.
LORD MILORI: He can send it back
to the Warm Side with his next delivery.
(GASPS)
SLED: It must have come from
the Warm Side. In one of the baskets.
Thanks.
(EXCLAIMS IN SURPRISE)
(PANTING)
(SOFT SNORING)
(SNIFFS)
(YAWNS)
(SCREAMING)
Whoa!
DEWEY: That's the end of that chapter.
Boy, that's a beauty.
Flora and Fauna of the Fairies.
Put a period there,
then we are pretty much done.
Wait. I forgot to number the pages.
Oh! I'm going to have to start all
over on this large book.
-PERIWINKLE: Keeper. Keeper! -Yes, what...
PERIWINKLE: The most amazing
thing happened. You'll never believe it.
Okay, I'm coming. I'm coming.
PERIWINKLE:
I've never felt anything like it!
My friends didn't believe me,
but how could they because it's so...
DEWEY: Slow down.
I can only listen so fast.
PERIWINKLE: Yesterday,
at the border, my wings.
They actually... They lit up.
It's happening again!
-(FIONA MEOWING) -Hi, Fiona.
You've got to tell me what it means!
Oh...
Well, I'll be a yeti's uncle.
In all my years.
Your wings. They're sparkling.
Like yours.
(LAUGHS INCREDULOUSLY)
I've written about the sparkling,
but I've never seen the sparkling
with my own peepers!
(CHUCKLING EXCITEDLY)
Oh, uh, follow me.
We call this room "Disco Plaza."
Technically, we haven't actually
had a party here yet.
But when we do, we'll be ready!
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Now, step the footsies on the snowflake.
Just put your wings into the light.
London.
(LAUGHING)
TINKER BELL: Oh, no.
(TINKER BELL GASPS)
Hello?
FAIRIES: Hello.
Hello?
Two people born of the same laugh.
So that means...
You're my...
BOTH: So we're
sisters.
Yes! And your wings are identical.
That is why they sparkle.
BOTH: (EXCLAIM) Jingles!
(LAUGHING)
Ah... Oh, boy.
Maybe you shouldn't do that.
Um, I'm Tinker Bell.
I'm Periwinkle.
So you must have been at the border.
Yeah. I was hoping
to see the animals cross.
I guess I didn't see you.
(CHUCKLES) Me either. (GASPS)
What?
(TINKER BELL GASPS)
I usually just wear them at home.
Wow.
LORD MILORI:
Hello. Keeper, are you in?
Yumping yetis, Lord Milori!
If he sees you, he'll send you back.
LORD MILORI: Keeper? Are you here?
Don't worry. I'm going to take care of this.
Where are you?
Ah. Come back later!
Keeper?
Whoa, boy. Can't get that one back.
I need to speak with you.
It's important.
I'll be right back.
I'm right here, Lord Milori.
Did you receive that wing book?
You know, once upon a time,
you'd stop by just to say
hello and howdy-do.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry. Hello.
Howdy-do.
(SIGHS) Howdy-do.
This book has me worried.
What if a Warm Fairy brought it here?
DEWEY: Well, that might be nice,
then, meeting a Warm Fairy.
Especially one with
such good taste in books.
It's too cold.
Maybe if they were wearing a coat,
or one of them little sweater vests.
-They're nice.-I'll remind you.
Crossing the border is forbidden.
There was a time when it wasn't.
The rule is there to keep the fairies safe.
That will never change.
But I...
If a Warm Fairy comes here,
you will send them back.
Of course.
Thank you.
Well, you heard the Lord Milori.
He said you must go back home.
Of course, he didn't say when.
(BOTH GASP)
Now, listen, you two,
it gets colder in four days' time,
so it's best to get Tinker Bell home.
Thank you, Dewey.
Dewey?
That's his real name.
It's what my friends call me.
Thank you.
Dewey.
Dewey.
So, um, I'm a Frost Fairy. I frost things.
-Oh. I'm a Tinker. I... -Tinker things?
Yep. I even made this coat.
-Oh, I like it. -Thanks.
PERIWINKLE: You're welcome.
(CHUCKLES) Sisters.
TINKER BELL:
By the time you read this,
I will be safety on an airplane flying home.
I'm so sorry for what I did.
TERENCE: "I don't want to be the
cause of you losing any more tours.
"I want you to go prove to the world
what I already know.
"That you are the greatest dust
keeper in the whole wide world.
"Your best friend, Tinker Bell."
-I didn't really want her to leave. -(SOBS)
Wait, there's more here.
"PS. Please tell the hotel
"I didn't mean to order that movie.
"I thought it was just a preview
and I didn't realize I was paying for it.
"PPS. That's funny right there. PP."
There are a few more pages
of PS's here.
Well, at least I know
if's she's at home, she'll be safe.
It's amazing. The dust travels
all the way from IGP Inc.
Kind of like you did.
...Terence and I barely
escaped the pirate ship!
-Is he your boyfriend? -Uh...
So Lizzy loves fairies?
Yeah. She even build a fairy house.
That's how I met her.
You see, me and Vidia...
(SCREAMS)
(BOTH LAUGH)
You collect lost things, too?
I call them found things.
WOMAN: ♪ I never knew I lost you till I found you
♪ And you'd never guess how close you are to me
♪ Now I want to throw my arms around you
♪ Tell a thousand tales that will astound you
♪ Everything about you tells me this was meant to be
♪ Don't you see? I'm on your side
♪ Let's take this ride
♪ And together we're facing the world
♪ Doing things nobody's done before
♪ And the great divide
♪ Doesn't seem so wide
♪ Anymore
This is the Frost Forest.
TINKER BELL: Wow.
That's Gliss.
Come on, Spike. Practice.
Okay, okay. Practicing.
And that's Spike. She's a bit...
Whoa!
(LAUGHING)
-Hi. -Sisters?
Well, I think it's fantastic!
Wow, you two look exactly alike!
I mean, except for your clothes and
your hair and Peri's a bit more creamier.
But your noses are very similar.
SPIKE: Forget their noses.
She's a Warm Fairy. In Winter!
(GASPS) You're right.
We got to show her around!
Oh, oh, oh!
Let's take her ice sliding!
Come on, Spike!
You are going to love this!
It sounds fun.
Yeah. Great idea.
Push the Warm Fairy down a hill of ice.
Okay, well, wait for me, you guys.
♪ And if you'll be there beside me when I falter
♪ Then whatever comes I know we'll take it all in stride
Ready, set, slide!
♪ I'm on your side
♪ I'm on your side
♪ Let's take this ride
♪ And together we're facing the world
♪ Doing things nobody's done before
♪ And the great divide
♪ Doesn't seem so wide
♪ Anymore ♪
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH EXCLAIM)
DOMINIC: Look at that.
"Muppets sell out in Berlin." Five stars!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Kermit the Frog is liking this news.
Choo-choo, yeah!
(CHUCKLES) Ooh, tunnel.
(GRUNTS)
Ooh!
(MUFFLED YELLING)
CONSTANTINE: (GROANS)
It's not there.
You were wrong!
Not so fast.
Oldest trick in the book.
-(SIZZLES) -Mmm.
Write it in lemon juice,
then simply apply heat
to reveal Colonel Blood's map.
Mmm...
Of course, today,
the Crown Jewels lie behind
the most sophisticated
security system on the planet.
And this map, along with
Blood's key and locket,
is the only way to get close to them.
Good work, Number Two.
What does it say about location
of Blood's key?
Right.
Something, something.
"Finest wooden teeth."
That is not helpful.
Wait.
There's the name of a city here.
Madrid.
(MAN SHOUTING IN RUSSIAN)
KERMIT: You've got the wrong frog!
(PRISONERS CLAMORING)
(MUFFLED WHIMPERING)
Hey, hey, hey!
Ah! Ow.
(MUFFLED TALKING)
(GASPING)
It's Constantine.
-What? -He's back.
What are you doing?
I'm not Constantine. My name is Kermit.
Constantine, always with the jokes!
(ALL LAUGHING)
Good old Constantine.
Always trying to pull a fast one.
(LAUGHING)
Old friend.
It's been too long.
Since you are back,
I guess you are in charge of prison again.
Here, take prison crown.
We have to readjust it again.
Sergei, you get on that.
Take, take.
(SIGHS)
Oh, thank you.
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
Wait a minute.
I've known Constantine for years.
And he has never...
Ever...
Said, "Thank you."
Because I am not Constantine.
(WHIMPERS)
-How dare you? -MISS POOGY: He's not Constantine!
Let's throw him
in the recycling compacter!
Yeah!
MISS POOGY:
Throw him in the compacter!
But I'm already green!
MISS POOGY: Squash that frog!
NADYA: Put the frog down.
Or I will deploy.
(KERMIT YELPS)
(WHIMPERING)
Where am I?
The Gulag.
A gulag?
Gulag. The Big House.
Casa Grande!
ALL: The Big House!
-Hit it, boys. -(ALL VOCALIZING)
♪ This is Russia's premier state-funded hotel
♪ We're very proud of our eclectic clientele
♪ Excellence in service since 1932
♪ Don't believe what you read in the online reviews
♪ It's the Big House The perfect getaway
♪ Welcome into the Big House
♪ You'll never get away
♪ It's no Hilton or no Hyatt But you will have a riot
♪ So please enjoy your stay
♪ Bah-dah-dah
♪ Here's the dining room The menu is minimal
♪ What the cook does to the food is criminal
♪ Pull up a seat, frog
♪ Grab yourself a stool
♪ May I recommend
♪ You try our famous gruel?
♪ In the Big House
♪ You'll never be alone
♪ Life ain't bad in the Big House
-♪ No, froggy, no -(CHUCKLING)
♪ Check out after 10
♪ Or 11 years
♪ Make yourself at home
♪ Accommodation here is far superior
♪ Than anything else
♪ You will find in Siberia
♪ Let me know if there's anything you need
♪ Everything is free
♪ Money back, guaranteed
MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISONER:
♪ In the Big House
♪ You will not survive
♪ When you arrive in the Big House
♪ Run for your life
(NADYA MIMICKING TRUMPET)
MUPPET PRISONER: ♪ Two, three, four
♪ It's the Big House The perfect getaway
♪ Welcome into the Big House
♪ You'll never get away
♪ For your sorority
♪ I'll keep the only key
♪ Now, please enjoy your stay ♪
(YELLS)
Listen, I'm telling you,
you've got the wrong frog!
If you are not Constantine,
why do you have that mole?
It's not real. Someone glued it to my lip.
Sure, frog.
Everyone is innocent in a Gulag.
As far as authorities are concerned,
you are Constantine.
Glue or no glue.
Who is this Constantine guy anyway?
Abandoned as tadpole by his mother,
Constantine was adopted by owner
Russia's largest bomb factory,
which he subsequently blew up.
He is world's foremost explosives
expert and number one criminal.
Well, listen, I can assure you
I'm terrified of bombs.
Especially on stage. (CHUCKLES)
That was bad on two levels.
-(SIGHS) -Make yourself comfortable.
You're going to be here a while.
I wouldn't be so sure.
My friends will be here soon!
NADYA: Now, lights out!
(CLATTERING)
Turn them back on! I can't see anything.
(GROANS)
You have to wait until I'm, like,
out of the hallway.
It's figure of speech.
-(WHIMPERS) -(MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
ANNA: Elsa!
Elsa!
Elsa, it's me, Anna,
your sister who didn't mean
to make you freeze the summer.
I'm sorry. (SHIVERING) It's all my fault.
Of course, none of it
would have happened
if she had just told me her secret.
(CHUCKLES) She's a stinker.
(GASPS) Whoa!
-(SPUTTERS) -(HORSE NEIGHING)
Oh, no. No, no, no! Come back!
No, no, no!
(SHIVERING) Okay.
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
Snow. It had to be snow.
She couldn't have had tropical magic
that covered the fjords
in white sand and warm...
Fire! (CHUCKLES)
(SHRIEKING)
(GRUNTS)
(SHIVERING)
Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold.
(CONTINUES SHIVERING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS)
(READING)
Ooh. "And sauna"!
-(GASPS) -(WIND HOWLING)
(SHIVERS)
-OAKEN: Yoo-hoo. -Hmm?
Big summer blowout.
Half off swimming suits, clogs,
and a sun balm
of my own invention, yah?
Oh. Great.
For now, um, how about boots?
Winter boots and dresses?
That would be in our winter department.
Oh. Um...
I was just wondering.
Has another young woman...
The queen perhaps, I don't know,
passed through here?
The only one crazy enough
to be out in this storm
-is you, dear. -(DOOR OPENS)
(PANTING)
You and this fellow.
Yoo-hoo.
Big summer blowout.
(TINK HUMMING NONCHALANTLY)
KRISTOFF: Carrots.
Huh?
Behind you.
Oh! Right. Excuse me.
Oh. A real howler in July, yes?
Wherever could it be coming from?
KRISTOFF: The North Mountain.
North Mountain?
That will be 40.
Forty? No, 10.
Oh, dear, that's no good.
See, this is from our winter stock,
where supply and demand
have a big problem.
You want to talk about
a supply and demand problem?
I sell ice for a living.
Ooh. That's a rough business
to be in right now.
(CHUCKLES) I mean, that is really...
(CLEARS THROAT) That's unfortunate.
Still 40.
But I will throw in
a visit to Oaken's sauna.
Yoo-hoo. Hi, family.
ALL: Yoo-hoo!
Ten is all I got. Help me out.
Okay. Ten will get you this and no more.
Okay, just tell me one thing.
What was happening
on the North Mountain?
Did it seem magical?
(EXHALES) Yes!
Now, back up while I deal
with this crook, here.
(GULPS)
What did you call me?
KRISTOFF: Okay, okay. I'm out.
Whoa! (GRUNTS)
Bye-bye.
(SPUTTERS)
No, Sven, I didn't get your carrots.
(GROANS)
But I did find us a place to sleep.
-And it's free. -(SNORTS)
I'm sorry about this violence.
I will add a quart of lutefisk,
so we have good feelings.
Just the outfit and the boots, yah?
Uh...
(TUNE BEING PICKED ON LUTE)
♪ Reindeers are better than people
♪ Sven, don't you think that's true?
♪ "Yeah, people will beat you And curse you and cheat you"
♪ "Every one of them's bad, except you"
Aw. Thanks, buddy.
♪ But people smell better than reindeers
♪ Sven, don't you think I'm right?
♪ "That's once again true For all, except you"
♪ You got me Let's call it a night
♪ "Good night"
♪ Don't let the frostbite
♪ Bite ♪
-Nice duet. -(GASPS)
(SIGHS) It's just you.
What do you want?
I want you to take me up
the North Mountain.
I don't take people places.
Let me rephrase that.
(GROANS) Hey.
Take me up the North Mountain.
-Please. -(SNIFFING)
Look, I know how to stop this deluge.
(SIGHS)
We leave at dawn.
And you forgot the carrots for Sven.
-(GRUNTS) -Oops, sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't...
(CLEARS THROAT)
We leave now. Right now.
Whew!
-(URGING SVEN) -(TINKER BELL SHRIEKS)
(TINK CHUCKLES BREATHLESSLY)
Hang on! We like to go fast.
-I like fast. -Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa...
Get your feet down. This is fresh lacquer.
Seriously, were you raised in a barn?
-(SPITS)
-Ugh!
-No, I was raised in a castle. -Hmm.
KRISTOFF: So, uh, tell me,
what made the queen go all ice-crazy?
Oh. Well...
It was all my fault.
I got engaged, but then she freaked out,
because I'd only just met him,
you know, that day.
And she said I wouldn't
bless the marriage, and...
Wait. You got engaged
to someone you just met that day?
Yeah. Anyway, I got mad,
and so she got mad,
and then she tried to walk away,
and I grabbed her glove...
Hang on!
You mean to tell me you got engaged
to someone you just met that day?
Yes. Pay attention.
But the thing is,
she wore the gloves all the time,
so I just thought, maybe
she has a thing about dirt.
Didn't your parents ever warn
you about strangers?
Yes, they did.
But Hans is not a stranger.
Oh, yeah? What's his last name?
(SCOFFS) "Of the Southern Isles."
-What's his favorite food? -Sandwiches.
-Best friend's name? -Probably John.
-Eye color? -Dreamy.
-Foot size? -Foot size doesn't matter.
Have you had a meal with him yet?
What if you hate the way he eats?
What if you hate
the way he picks his nose?
Picks his nose?
And eats it.
Excuse me, sir. He is a prince.
-All men do it. -Ew.
Look, it doesn't matter. It's true love.
It doesn't sound like true love.
(SCOFFS)
Are you some sort of love expert?
No. But, uh, I have friends who are.
You have friends
who are love experts? I'm not buying it.
-Stop talking. -No, no, no. No, no.
-I'd like to meet these... -No, I mean it.
(GRUNTS)
(SHUSHES)
(GRUNTS)
(LOW GROWLING)
Sven, go.
Go!
-What are they? -Wolves.
Wolves?
-What do we do? -I got this.
You just...
Don't fall off, and don't get eaten.
But I want to help!
-No. -Why not?
Because I don't trust your judgment.
Excuse me?
Who marries a man she just met?
It's true love!
-Whoa! -(GRUNTS)
Whoa. Whoa!
Christopher!
It's "Kristoff"!
Ow! (YELPS)
(KRISTOFF GRUNTING)
Duck!
(SCREAMS)
(SNARLING)
You almost set me on fire!
But I didn't.
-(BOTH GRUNTING) -(SVEN GROANS)
(BOTH GASP)
Get ready to jump, Sven!
You don't tell him what to do.
-Hey! -I do!
Jump, Sven!
(GRUNTS)
(TINKER BELL EXCLAIMS)
(KRISTOFF YELLING)
-(GROWLING) -(BARKING)
Phew!
(WHIMPERS)
But I just paid it off.
Uh-oh. No. No.
No!
Ah! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
ANNA: Grab on!
Pull, Sven. Pull!
(KRISTOFF GRUNTING)
(BOTH PANTING)
-(SLEIGH THUDS) -Whoa.
(KRISTOFF GROANS)
I'll replace your sled, and everything in it.
And I understand
if you don't want to help me anymore.
-(GRUNTING) -(SIGHS)
Of course I don't want to help
them anymore. In fact,
this whole thing has ruined me
for helping anyone ever again.
ANNA: It's this way?
"She'll die on her own."
-I can live with that. -ANNA: Here we go.
"But you won't get
your new sled if she's dead."
ANNA: I think, actually, it's up.
Sometimes, I really don't like you.
-(PANTING) -Hold up! We're coming.
You are?
I mean, sure. I'll let you tag along.
(CHUCKLES)
(GROANS)
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
DOMINIC: Okay.
It seems that Blood's key
is hidden in a marble bust
of his accomplice, Godfrey the Unknown,
which is kept in the Statue Room
at the Prado Museum.
CONSTANTINE: Perfect.
We break in, steal the bust,
destroy it and grab key.
Yeah, it's not that simple.
You see, no one knows
what Godfrey the Unknown looked like.
(LAUGHS) Of course not.
He was second in command,
so no one cared.
And there's 250 statues in that room.
That may be problem.
Let me think, Number Two.
(BREATHES DEEPLY) Hmm...
Excusez-moi, Kermie.
Do you have a moment?
Kermit.
I just wanted to say
that I accept your apology
and I'm ready to
put our little disagreement
or whatever it was, behind us.
And, perhaps, I was a little too
eager about our wedding.
So for the next few weeks,
maybe we should just...
Pig, I have question.
Am I wearing sign that says "Bother Me"?
-(GASPING) -(BARKING)
-(MISS PIGGY SOBBING) -What was that? What was that?
Uh... I was in the middle of evilly plotting.
I do not like to be interrupted
while evilly plotting.
If we're to get away with this,
you've got to keep up appearances.
I am keeping up appearances.
If you want the Crown Jewels,
stick to the plan.
Do whatever the pig wants.
Keep her happy.
Whatever she asks of you.
I'm not worried. What can she do?
Okay, buster.
You've gone too far this time.
I was trying to make nice,
and you threw it right back in my face.
I quit!
Stupid frog!
Stupid train!
Mmm-hmm.
I don't want to talk to you, Kermit.
I said, I want you out!
I don't think you know what you want.
-Yeah, l do. I just told you, I... -Shh.
You're my lady
and I'm your man, baby.
And that's why, if you stick with me,
I'll make your dreams come true.
I can give you what you want. Hmm?
♪ Baby, stop right there
♪ Let me clear the air
♪ Baby, look into these eyes Let me apologize
♪ I know what you're thinking of
♪ You're thinking, "Where's the love?"
♪ Babe, the love ain't gone It's here where it belongs
♪ I know what you're waiting for
♪ Well, you don't need to wait no more
♪ I can give you anything you want
♪ Give you anything you need
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
♪ Give you anything you want
♪ Fulfill your fantasies
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
♪ You want a unicorn I'll give it to you
♪ You want a puppy dog I'll give it to you
♪ You want an ice cream cone I'll give it to you
♪ You want a mortgage loan I'll give it to you
♪ You want a satin pillow I'll give it to you
♪ You want an armadillo I'll give it to you
♪ You want a diamond ring I'll give it to you
♪ You want a thingy-thing I'll give it to you
♪ I know what you're waiting for
♪ Well, you don't need to wait no more
♪ I can give you anything you want
♪ Give you anything you need
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
♪ Give you anything you want Fulfill your fantasies
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
♪ You want a taste of fame I'll give it to you
♪ You want a little cupcake I'll give it to you
♪ You want a cockatoo I'll give it to you
♪ You want a kangaroo I'll give it to you
♪ You want American car I'll give it to you
♪ You want a Hollywood star I'll give it to you
♪ You wanna go to the moon...
♪ I'll see what I can do
♪ I know what you're waiting for
♪ Well, you don't need to wait no more
♪ I can give you anything you want
♪ Give you anything you need
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
♪ Give you anything you want
♪ Fulfill your fantasies
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
♪ Ooh-ooh! Whoa
-♪ I'm singing -♪ Cockatoo
-♪ Yeah -♪ Kangaroo
♪ Ooh
♪ In Malibu
♪ I'll give it to you
♪ I'll make your dreams come true
-♪ Cockatoo -♪ Cockatoo
-♪ Kangaroo -♪ Kangaroo
♪ In Malibu
♪ I'll make your dreams come true ♪
Oh, Kermie.
You are what I've always wanted.
-Uh, excuse us. -Hmm?
But we are all wondering,
what's the set list for tomorrow, chief?
I don't care. Do whatever you want.
MISS PIGGY: What?
FLOYD: Is he serious?
Uh, Kermit, could I do
indoor running of the bulls?
Sure, Zongo. Who cares?
Wow! Thank you, Kermit!
Kermie, if he can do his thing,
why can't I sing my five songs?
Well...
You can. Who cares?
We don't have time for all this stuff.
We're up to a three-hour show, Kermit.
You are forgetting one thing,
small man with glasses.
I can give you what you want.
All right!
Okay. Indoor running the bulls.
Won't the show be terrible? Uh... Guys?
(SIGHS) I'm so confused.
(BOTH PANTING)
(TINKER BELL GASPS)
Arendelle.
-It's completely frozen. -(SIGHS)
But it will be fine. Elsa will thaw it.
Will she?
Yeah. Now, come on.
This way to the North Mountain?
(CHUCKLES)
More like this way.
(GASPS)
PEPÉ: El Muppets,
your eyes do not deceive you.
We are in Spain. We are home.
Hey, Pepé. Which way to the hotel, dude?
What? No friend of mine will stay
in a hotel in my town, okay.
You will stay with my...
Uncle Caballero-o-o-o!
Pepé! Rizzo! (SPEAKS SPANISH)
How do they do it?
These are the same ingredients as
back home, but it tastes so good.
-It's organic, dude. -Treehugger.
CABALLERO: Hey, dust keeper.
You look so down, so low.
Is like you have sore flippers.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
She said you look like you are starving,
that she's gonna make you a
big meal and fatten you up.
Oh, no.
Mama Caballero, please,
you don't need to make a fuss.
Entiendo. I understand.
Is a problem, yes,
between you and a friend?
How did you know that?
A wise citizen hears one word
and understands two.
That, and Pepé told me.
While Mama cooks,
come and take a stroll with me.
I brought my friend Tinker Bell
along on the trip
and I told her she needed to act different,
that we weren't in Pixie Hollow.
This Tink is a close friend?
She's my best friend.
Then why would you ask her
to be someone else?
What did I do?
I said some things during our fight.
You know, back when
Rizzo and Pepé used to work for me,
they would fight over everything.
They fight over what
amigo was the best amigo,
which one of them looked
more like a amigo.
There were even some non-amigo fights.
So I tell them, "es bueno, it's OK to fight.
"Everybody fights now and then,
especially best friends.
"But you got to make up fast.
"No fight more important
than friendship."
(SPEAKS SPANISH)
-What does that mean? -Whoever find a friend, find a treasure.
Now, comer. Eat!
-Who cares? -(THEY ARGUE IN SPANISH)
(CRACKING SOUND)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTS AND WHIMPERING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTING)
(BLUBBERING)
(SNIFFING)
(SIGHS)
(GRUNTING AND PANTING)
(GROWLS)
-(SIGHS) -(CRACKING)
Uh-oh.
(RUMBLING)
(GIGGLES)
(GASPS AND WHINES)
(GRUNTS)
-(RUMBLING AND CRACKING) -(GASPS)
(GULPING)
(SQUEALS)
(SCREAMING)
Ooh. (SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
(BLUBBERS)
(WHOOPING)
(SQUEALS)
Whoa!
(SQUEALS)
Oy, this global warming is killing me.
This is too hot. The Ice Age was too cold.
What would it take to make you happy?
(SCREAMS)
This I like.
Whoo-hoo!
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
Whoo! (SCREAMS)
-Whoo! -(YELLS)
(GRUNTING)
MACRAUCHENIA: Whoa, whoa!
Wow! Whoa!
-(SHOUTING) -Whoa!
(LAUGHING)
-(WHISTLE BLOWS) -No running, Pitchers.
-Camp rules. -Mmm!
-Ohh! -Make me, sloth!
"Make me, sir!" It's all about respect.
Ew.
(SHOUTING)
Jared, you just ate. Wait an hour.
Hector, no, no. You can't pee-pee there.
Okay. There is fine.
Ashley, stop picking your... (YELLS)
-GIRL 1: Piñata! -(CHEERING)
Stop! You're supposed to wear blindfolds.
Okay. You're in no position
to make the rules.
-Hey, it's my turn to hit the Tinker Fairy! -Mine!
-Mine! -Mine!
Mine!
Whoa! (SCREAMS AND GRUNTS)
(CHEERING)
Hey! You didn't have any candy in you.
Not even a little.
-Let's bury her. -(ALL CHEERING)
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
(ALL GIGGLING)
-Fire ants! -(ALL CHEERING)
What's going on here?
And how can we make it more painful?
Who said you kids could torture my sister?
Peri, don't squash their creativity.
Hey, Peri! Kristoff!
My bad citizen jettisons!
Want to give a Tinker Fairy a hand?
(GAGGING)
Look, I opened my camp.
Campo del Tink.
It means "Camp of Tink."
Congratulations.
You're now an idiot in two languages.
(SHUSHES) Not in front of the K-I-D-Z.
These little guys love me. Right, Billy?
-Don't make me eat you. -(KIDS LAUGHING)
Ah, they kid.
That's why they're called "kids."
I told you, Tink, you're not qualified
to run a summer camp.
Oh, since when do qualifications
have anything to do with child care?
Besides, these kids look up to me.
I'm a role model to them. (GASPS)
-(KIDS LAUGHING) -I can see that.
You guys never think I can do anything,
but I'm an equal member of this herd.
I made this herd,
so y'all need to start treating me
with some respect.
-Come on, Tink! -Tinker Bell! We were just kidding.
ASHLEY: Hey!
Let's play Pin the Wing on the Fairy.
-Yeah! -BOTH: Tink!
I can do stuff.
(GRUNTS)
Won't give me no stupid respect.
Get the... (GRUNTING)
I'll show them.
PERIWINKLE: And so, in the end,
the little burro reached his mommy,
and they lived happily ever after.
(ALL CHEERING)
-Good job. -ASHLEY: Question.
Why does the burro go home?
Why doesn't he stay with the rabbits?
Because... Because he wanted
to be with his family.
I think he should go with the girl burro.
That's a better love story.
Okay. Well, when you tell your
burro story, that's what he'll do.
"Burro" is a demeaning name.
Technically it's called a "wild ass."
Fine.
The wild ass boy came home
to his wild ass mother.
-See, that's why I called it a burro! -(CHUCKLING)
Could the burro have a grazing problem?
That would make him more relatable.
-Boring! -It's not believable.
-PITCHERS: Do burros eat their young? -It's not a very satisfying ending.
Sometimes I throw up.
"They lived happily ever after."
You can't get more satisfying than that.
One big, happy family.
That's the way it's supposed to be.
Then where's your big, happy family?
Then the hungry piranha
ate the pesky little kids. (ROARS)
-(ALL SCREAMING) -GIRL 2: Mommy!
-You okay, buddy? -Sure. Why not?
-I just thought you... -Story time's over. The end.
TAPIR BOY 2: Get out of the way! TAPIR BOY 1: Run for your live!
-Hey, watch it. -Where's everybody going?
-The world's coming to an end! -What are you talking about?
Fast Tony.
He says the world's gonna flood!
Folks, I hold in my hands
a device so powerful,
it can actually pull air right out of the sky!
-FEMALE MAMMAL: Right. -(CHUCKLING) Gather around.
Gather around.
-Pardon me, do you have gills, ma'am? -Uh-uh.
-So you can't breathe underwater? -Uh-uh.
Aha! My assistant here will demonstrate.
Hey! I can smell the ocean!
Oh! What are you doing?
I can't sell that now.
You suck air through your mouth,
you moron!
Through its tensile design
and sturdy construction,
he'll have plenty of air for eons to come!
-(PANTING) -Of course, results may vary.
Hey!
Why are you scaring everybody
with this doomsday stuff?
(LAUGHING)
I'm trying to make a living here, pal.
It's all part of my accu-weather forecast.
The five-day outlook is calling
for intense flooding followed by
-the end of the world! -(ALL GASPING)
And a slight chance of patchy sunshine
later in the week.
Come on, don't listen to him.
Fast Tony would sell his own
mother for a grape.
Are you making an offer?
I mean, no, I would not.
Haven't you heard? The ice is melting.
You see this ground? It's covered in ice.
A thousand years ago,
it was covered in ice.
A thousand years from now,
it will still be ice.
AARDVARK DAD: Say, buddy...
Not to cast aspersions on your
survival instincts or nothing,
but haven't Frost Fairies
pretty much gone extinct?
-What are you talking about? -I'm talking about you
being the last of your kind.
Ah, your breath smells like ants.
(EXHALES) Whoo!
Be that as it may,
when's the last time
you saw another Frost Fairy?
Ah, don't pay any attention to him, Peri.
Frost Fairies can't go extinct.
They're the coldest people on Earth.
Well, what about the dinosaurs?
The dinosaurs got cocky.
-They made enemies. -MACRAUCHENIA: Look!
Some idiot's going down the Eviscerator!
Oh, please tell me it's not our idiot.
Okay. I'm gonna jump
on the count of three!
-One, two… -(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
Tink, don't move a muscle!
We're coming up!
ALL: (CHANTING) Jump! Jump! Jump!
-Jump! Jump! Jump! Sorry. -Jump! Jump! Jump!
Two and 3/1,000th. Two and 4/1,000th.
PERIWINKLE: Tinker Bell!
What are you doing?
Get down from there!
No way! I'm gonna be the first
to jump off the Eviscerator
and then you guys are gonna have
to start showing me some respect.
You jump off this, the only respect
you're gonna get is respect for the dead.
Come on, Peri. She's not that stupid.
-But I've been wrong before. -Geronimo... Oh!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
-(TINKER BELL SCREAMING) -Hey, watch it!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh!
(MUFFLED) I can't breathe.
(GRUNTS)
I think I just coughed up my spleen.
-(GROANS) -(ICE CRACKING)
Huh?
(PANTING)
Uh, Kristoff?
-Retract the fins, please. -Oh. Right. Sorry.
If I didn't know you better, Kristoff,
I'd think you were afraid of the water.
Okay! Okay!
Good thing I know you better.
PERIWINKLE: Guys.
Fast Tony was right.
Everything is melting.
It's all gonna flood.
Come on. We gotta warn them.
Hmm. Maybe we can rapidly
evolve into water creatures.
That's genius, Tink.
Call me "Squid."
Eesh! This whole thing's a piece of junk.
I can't believe I live here.
-(ICE RUMBLING) -What?
(SCREAMING)
Forget reeds!
That is so five minutes ago.
I present you with this
revolutionary gizmo we call bark!
It's so buoyant, it actually floats!
-I'll show you something that floats. -(BOTH LAUGHING)
All right. It's your funeral.
(SCREAMING)
You see? This is exactly
what I'm talking about!
Giant balls of furry lava the size of
Frost Fairies raining from the sky!
-Ah, go suck air through a reed! -TAPIR DAD: Hey, Fast Tony!
The snakes called.
-They wanted their oil back. -(PEOPLE LAUGHING)
We gotta listen to him.
He's right about the flood.
I am? I mean, uh, yes, I am.
Wait a minute.
You're the one who said
there wasn't going to be a flood.
-Why should we listen to you? -Because we saw what's up there.
The dam's gonna break.
The entire world fair's gonna flood.
(ALL LAUGHING)
FAST TONY: Very funny, folks.
LONE GUNSLINGER VULTURE:
Flood's real, all right.
And it's coming fast.
Look around. You're in a bowl.
Bowl's gonna fill up. Ain't no way out.
(GASPS) What are we gonna do?
Unless, you can make it
to the Tower of London.
There's a boat. It can save you.
I don't see anything.
But, y'all better hurry.
Ground's melting, walls tumbling,
rocks crumbling.
Survive that,
and you'll be racing the water
'cause in five days' time,
it's gonna hit the geyser fields.
-Boom! -(ALL SCREAM)
LONE GUNSLINGER VULTURE:
There is some good news, though.
The more of you die, the better I eat.
-(ALL GASPING) -I didn't say it was good news for you.
Ooh. He must have been a pleasure
to have in class.
All right. You heard the scary vulture.
Let's move out.
(ICE CRACKING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
TAPIR: Run!
Dam!
Peri, you really think there's a boat?
It's called the Titanic,
but in a few days this place
is gonna be a mile underwater.
If there's any hope, it's that way.
Periwinkle, let's go!
VULTURE: We got an overturned
glyptodon in the far light lane.
Traffic backed up as far
as the eye can see.
Ooh, and it looks like there
might be a fatality.
-(SLURPS) -I call the dark meat!
Come on, everybody. Let's go.
Come on. Come, come, come. Get in.
Whoop!
-(ALL GRUNTING) -Come on, Grandpa. Come on!
-We have to go. -Well, I'm not leaving!
I was born in this hole,
and I'll die in this hole!
(GRUNTING)
Do we have to bring this crap?
I'm sure there's crap where we're going.
Ah! This was a gift from my mother.
-Okay. Keep it moving. Keep it moving. -Peri, Peri!
I-I just heard you're going extinct. Mmm!
I am not going extinct!
Oh, well, if you do go extinct,
can I have you spot on the food chain?
Hey, if you ever master hygiene,
try working on sensitively.
What part of not going extinct
do you not understand?
I'm having trouble with the not part.
I think you are, too.
I told you, I'm not going extinct!
Kids, look! A Frost Fairy.
Wow!
Well, you probably won't see
another one of those again.
See?
Okay. One, two, three...
Where is Pitchers?
(GIGGLING)
(GIGGLING)
-(SCREAMS) -(CHUCKLING)
(SNIFFING)
(STU BREATHING)
(STU GASPS)
Stu! Come on, Stu!
Let's blow this ice cube stand.
(SCREAMS)
Stu!
(GASPS)
Folks! Be the first in the valley to have
your very own mobile home!
(GROWLING)
(SNIFFING)
(SQUAWKS)
(GROWLS)
(SCREAMS)
(YELLS)
(BLUBBERING)
(BLUBBERING)
(WHIMPERS)
(SNIFFING)
(INHALES)
(WHINES)
(GRUNTING)
(GASPING)
(ICE BLOCK FALLS)
Oh!
(WHIMPERS)
(GASPING)
Uh-oh. (YELLS)
(WHINING)
(GROANING)
Ah!
Where are you guys?
Looks like I'm gonna have
to break out of here myself.
(SIGHS)
Okay, Kermit, five minutes till showtime.
-(BREATHING DEEPLY) -Uh...
Kermit? Chief?
-(GRUNTS) -Whoa!
(SCOOTER GROANS)
Sorry.
Oh, uh, no problem, chief.
Are you coming?
No. I refuse to perform.
Do show without me.
Sorry, one second.
-Can I just have a quick word? -CONSTANTINE: No.
-DOMINIC: It's just, uh... -What?
DOMINIC: Okay, you have to go,
Number One.
CONSTANTINE: No,
you can not make me go.
You're the one who must go,
Number Two.
DOMINIC: I can't go. I don't need to go.
You're the one who needs to go,
Number One.
-CONSTANTINE: I have idea. -What?
CONSTANTINE:
We will both go together.
DOMINIC: That would look weird.
I'm begging you, go. Go, Number One.
CONSTANTINE: I cannot.
Not after what happened last time.
DOMINIC: Look at this. This might help.
It's The Muppet Show,
with our very special guest star,
Lynn Redgrave.
Yay!
(IMITATING) Yes!
Oh. Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog, here.
Hi-lo.
Kermit the Frog here.
♪ The lovers, the dreamers and me
♪ The lovers, the dreamers and cheese ♪
Nailed it.
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
I can't watch.
(GROANING)
You are the world's most dangerous frog.
Now act like it.
(GRUNTS)
It's El Muppet Show,
with our very special guest,
Salma Hayek.
Hey!
(PLAYING SPANISH GUITAR RIFF)
(SINGING THEME IN SPANISH)
-Would you look at that? -No.
Good idea.
(SINGING IN SPANISH)
(CHEERING)
(LAUGHS)
Yes! Hello and welcome
to El Muppet Show.
Please welcome our opening act,
the Great Gonzo
and the indoor running of the bulls!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
Yes, yes. I am Kermit. Mm-hmm. Yes.
Okay, chief. Wrap it up.
One minute, please.
Let me drink it in. Ah...
Gonzo? Gonzo, I don't want to do this.
What? This is gonna be great.
Are you sure about this?
Nope. Come on. Let's go.
-Where have you been? -On stage.
-Why did the... -(BULLS BELLOWING)
(GONZO SCREAMING)
(BOTH SCREAMING)
The bulls are out of control!
Who could have foreseen this?
Me. I did.
Here they come again!
Thomas Blood's key is hidden
in one of these busts.
It's time to get things started.
Okay. Sorry about that, folks,
but now put your hands together
for Miss Piggy. Olé!
(VOCALIZING)
(SINGING IN SPANISH)
♪ Don't you worry about my boyfriend
♪ The boy whose name is Kermitino
(BOTH GROANING)
I don't believe it.
They've managed the impossible.
What an achievement!
Bravo! Bravo!
What? You mean you actually
like this show now?
No! They've made the show even worse!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
-Bravo! Bravo! -Amazing!
-(STATUES SMASHING) -DOMINIC: Where is it?
CONSTANTINE:
It's got to be here somewhere.
Keep smashing, Number Two.
DOMINIC: What do you think I'm doing?
I'm smashing.
CONSTANTINE: Where is that key?
DOMINIC: The last one.
It better be in here.
This one says,
"A Man Forgotten by History."
And he looks annoyed.
He looks a little bit like you,
Number Two.
(GRUNTS)
DOMINIC: Colonel Blood's key.
CONSTANTINE: Nice of him to label it.
(READING)
That doesn't even rhyme.
-He was a thief, not a poet. -Give him a break.
-So, where is the locket? -There's more.
(DOMINIC READING)
Blood was Irish.
Of course. That's where his locket is.
In the vaults of the Irish National Bank.
Then I know where Muppet tour
must stop next. Dublin.
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
Yeah!
Drum solo!
(SIGHS)
(SNORING)
(SONG ENDS)
Huh!
(ALL CHEERING)
I knew audiences dug jam sessions.
A standing ovation?
CONSTANTINE: I am Kermit.
I hope you enjoyed my show.
I love you, Madrid!
Wow, what an audience!
Great show, Kermit!
They loved me, Kermie! They loved me!
WALTER: Guys?
I'm not sure that was such a great show.
Like, what are you talking about?
That jam was, like, totally epic.
Exactly.
And I'm glad to say the Spanish reviewers
disagree with you as well, Walter.
They loved us.
Five out of five jamón serranos.
Those reviews really came out fast.
Oh, Kermie.
Look at these reviews.
I've never been happier.
Thank you, Kermie. Thank you.
I do it all for you, my dear.
Because you and me,
we are meant to be together forever.
And Citizen Kane only got
four jamón serranos.
DOMINIC: And more good news.
Pack up, everyone.
I've booked our next gig. In Dublin.
Oh, great! Now we all
have time to rehearse.
Rehearse? Let's celebrate.
Yeah!
CONSTANTINE: Yes!
You deserve it, comrades!
Go do whatever you want.
Ooh!
♪ Some day, when you're gonna sing
♪ When you make us sing
-Shut up, Tink. -Okay.
♪ Stop, hey-hey, what's that sound?
♪ All the fairies are in the ground
Stop singing, Tink!
♪ If your species will continue, clap your hands
♪ If your species...
Tink, I'm gonna fall on you again,
and this time I will kill you.
Okay. Someone doesn't like the classics.
What if they're right?
What if I am a Frost Fairy?
But, Peri, look at the bright side.
You have us!
Not your most persuasive argument, Tink.
-(DISTANT CHATTER) -(FAIRY'S BELL JINGLING)
-Frost Fairies? -I knew he couldn't be the last one!
-(GRUNTS) -I felt it in my gut!
(BLUBBERING) Whoa! Whoa!
-(FAIRY'S BELL JINGLING) -Whoa!
Extinct! Come on!
She's coming around the corner,
and he's up by a couple of fifths.
He's ahead by wings!
Oh, she's beating Sven!
Sven's gonna go to the corner!
-Whoa! -(TINKER BELL SCREAMS)
Ow! Ow! Ooh! (GROANS)
(GAS BLOWING)
Sorry. My stomach hates me.
(GROANS)
Oh. Phew!
Eew! Don't that put the
"stink" in "extinction.
Whoo! Sheesh! Eww! Nasty!
TINKER BELL: Peri?
I, uh… I need to be alone for a while.
You go on ahead. I'll catch up.
One truly is the loneliest number.
-Ow! -Ow! Hey!
-(BOTH LAUGHING) -Ooh! These work great!
-Ow! -Cool.
-(ROARS) -(BOTH SCREAM)
Missed me! Missed me!
Now you gotta kiss me!
I'll get them.
Which end is up?
I'd hide that face too.
-Hey, ugly. -Ow! I gotta sit on that!
Whoo-hoo! Ay!
-You! -Got me!
Gotcha!
Yeah! Uh-oh.
-Boo. -(BOTH SCREAM)
Okay, I'm going in! (SCREAMS)
-Miss Bell! -What?
-Ow! Ow! -Nice miss!
-Cover your side. -Ooh! I felt some breeze on that one.
Smile!
Whoo-hoo!
-(BLOWS RASPBERRY) -Out of my way!
-Miss Bell! -Hello!
-Over here! -(BOTH GRUNT)
-Surrender? -BOTH: Never!
Cool!
-CRASH: Smoke them! -(GASPS)
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Anyone asks, there were 50 of them…
and, uh, they were rattlesnakes.
(LAUGHS) Here, kitty, kitty.
Big mistake, you miscreants.
-Miscreants? -(BOTH LAUGHING)
Uh, Kristoff, they're possums.
(CLUCKING)
-(ROARS) -Retreat!
(ROARS)
I guess it's just you and me now.
-(GASPS) -(SCREAMS)
(BOTH SHRIEK)
Ooh. (SPITS) Hmm.
I knew it!
-I knew I wasn't the only one! -Me too!
Everyone falls out of the tree every now
and then. They just don't admit it.
Wait. What?
Some of us have a tough time
holding on to branches.
It's not like we're bats or something.
We don't have wings to keep us up.
And you were in the tree because…
Oh, I was just looking for my brothers.
They are always getting into trouble.
Brothers? You mean there's more?
Sure! Whoa!
There's lots of us.
-Where? -Uh, everywhere?
Under rocks, in holes in the ground.
Usually we come out at night so birds
don't carry us off.
-Huh? -Help! Help! Help!
(ROARS)
-EDDIE: (PANTING) Help! -(GASPS)
Well, shave me down
and call me a mole rat!
You found another Frost Fairy!
Where?
Wait a minute. I thought
Frost Fairies were extinct.
-What are you looking at me for? -I don't know.
Maybe because you're a penguin?
Me? Don't be ridiculous.
I'm not a penguin. I'm a possum.
Right. Good one. I'm a newt.
This is my friends,
the badger and donkey,
and my other friend, the platypus.
Why do I gotta be the platypus?
Make him the platypus.
This guy giving you trouble, bro?
-ALL: "Bro"? -That's right.
These are my brothers...
Possum, possum, possum.
I don't think his tree goes all the way
to the top branch.
Peri, think of extinction's a bad time
to be picky.
Hey, he should come with us.
-Are you insane? No way. -Okay.
Peri wants me to ask you if you'd like
to escape the flood with us.
-What? -I'd rather be roadkill.
-That can be arranged. -(LAUGHS) Funny!
Let me have a little word
with my brothers.
(GROWLING)
Pablo, are you crazy?
We're not going with them!
Look, we'll never make it in time
if we only travel at night.
These guys can protect
us out in the open.
What do you say?
-Ow! -Why did you invite them?
Because you might be the only
two Frost Fairies left on Earth.
-He has a point. -I'm sorry.
When did I join this dating service?
My brothers and I would be
delighted to come with you.
-(GROANS) -If you treat us nicely.
-(GROWLS) -See that?
That's the total opposite of nice.
Maybe we'll have ourselves a little
snack before we hit the road.
You want a piece of us? Let's go.
Banzai!
-I got him! Ow! -Back! Back!
-Yah! Yah! -Ow!
You know the best part?
We're carrying diseases.
(ICE RUMBLING)
EDDIE: I'd rather grow hair on my tail.
Okay. Thanks to my sister, Tinker Bell,
we're now traveling together
and, like it or not, we're gonna be
one big, happy family.
We'll be sisters,
Pablo will be our companion,
and Kristoff and Sven will be our guides
who eats the kids who get on my nerves.
Now, let's move it before the ground
falls out from under our feet!
I thought fat guys
were supposed to be jolly.
I'm not fat. It's this wings.
It makes me look big.
-It's poofy. -(CHUCKLING) Oh. Okay.
She's fat.
(ICE TINKLING)
(GRUNTING EXCITEDLY)
I never knew winter
could be so beautiful.
OLAF: Yeah.
It really is beautiful, isn't it?
But it's so white.
You know, how about a little color?
I'm thinking maybe some
crimson, chartreuse.
How about yellow?
No, not yellow. Yellow and snow?
(SHUDDERS) No go.
(CHUCKLES)
(BOTH GASP)
-Am I right? -(SHRIEKS)
-Hi. -You're creepy.
-OLAF: Whoa!  -I don't want it.
-Back at you. -OLAF: Please don't drop me.
-No. -Come on, it's just a head.
OLAF: All right. We got off to a bad start.
Ew, ew, ew, the body!
(GROANS)
Wait, what am I looking at right now?
Why are you hanging off
the earth like a bat?
All right, wait one second.
Oh. Uh...
Oh!
-Thank you. -You're welcome.
Now, I'm perfect.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, almost.
It was like my whole life
got turned upside down.
(GRUNTS)
Oh! Too hard. I'm sorry!
-Head rush! -I was just... Are you okay?
Are you kidding me? I am wonderful!
I've always wanted a nose.
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) So cute.
It's like a little baby unicorn.
(IN NORMAL VOICE) But... Hey! Whoa!
-(GASPS) -Oh.
I love it even more.
(EXHALES)
All right, let's start this thing over.
Hi, everyone.
I'm Olaf.
And I like warm hugs.
Olaf?
That's right. Olaf.
And you are?
Oh. Um...
I'm Anna.
And who's the funky-looking
donkey over there?
-That's Sven. -Uh-huh.
And who's the reindeer?
Sven.
Oh, the... Oh. Okay.
That makes things easier for me.
(SQUEALS) Aw, look at him
trying to kiss my nose.
-I like you, too. -Olaf.
-Did my sister build you? -Yeah. Why?
Do you know where my friends are?
-Fascinating. -Yeah. Why?
Do you think you could
show us the way?
Yeah. Why?
How does this work? Ow!
Stop it, Sven. I'm trying to focus, here.
-Yeah. Why? -I'll tell you why.
We need Elsa to bring back summer.
-Summer? -Mmm-hmm.
Oh. I don't know why,
but I've always loved
the idea of summer.
And sun, and all things hot.
Really?
I'm guessing you don't have much
experience with heat.
Nope.
But sometimes I like to close my eyes,
and imagine what it would be
like when summer does come.
(SIGHING CONTENTEDLY)
♪ Bees will buzz Kids will blow dandelion fuzz
♪ And I'll be doing Whatever snow does in summer
♪ A drink in my hand
♪ My snow up against the burning sand
♪ Probably getting gorgeously tanned
♪ In summer
♪ I'll finally see a summer breeze
♪ Blow away a Winter storm
♪ And find out what happens to solid water
♪ When it gets warm
♪ And I can't wait to see
♪ What my buddies all think of me
♪ Just imagine how much cooler I'll be
♪ In summer!
(VOCALIZING)
♪ The hot and the cold are both so intense
♪ Put them together It just makes sense
(SCATTING)
♪ Winter's a good time To stay in and cuddle
♪ But put me in con game and I'll be a...
♪ Happy snowman!
♪ When life gets rough
♪ I like to hold on to my dream
♪ Relaxing in the summer sun Just letting off steam
♪ Oh, the sky
♪ Will be blue
♪ And you guys will be there, too
♪ When I finally do
♪ What frozen things do In summer!
-I'm gonna tell him. -Don't you dare.
♪ In summer! ♪
So, come on! Mainland's this way.
Let's go bring back summer!
-I'm coming! -(OLAF LAUGHING)
Somebody's gotta tell him.
(GRUNTING)
(CHITTERS)
(INHALES)
(GASPING)
(GRUNTS)
-(SCREAMS) -(WATER SPLASHES)
(CITIZENS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
No, no. You've got the bark facing down.
The bark needs to be face-up.
-Bark down is drier. -MAN 1: Bark up!
MAN 2: Bark down! BOY: Papa!
Cloak? Does anyone need a cloak?
Arendelle is indebted to you,
Your Highness.
The castle is open.
There is soup and hot glogg
in the great hall.
Here, pass these out.
Prince Hans!
Are we expected
to just sit here and freeze
while you give away all
of Arendelle's tradable goods?
Princess Anna has given her orders.
And that's another thing!
Has it dawned on you
that your queen may be conspiring
with the wicked sorceress
to destroy us all?
Do not question the princess.
She left me in charge
and I will not hesitate
to protect Arendelle from treason.
(STAMMERING) Treason?
(HORSE WHINNYING)
-(ALL GASP) -(WOMAN SCREAMS)
(PEOPLE PANICKING)
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa, boy. Easy.
Easy.
MAN: It's Princess Anna's horse.
WOMAN 1: So, where is the princess?
WOMAN 2: Where could she be? WOMAN 3: Where is she?
Princess Anna is in trouble.
I need volunteers to go
with me to find her.
-I'll go. -I volunteer.
I volunteer two men, My Lord.
Be prepared for anything.
And should you encounter the queen,
you are to put an end to this winter.
-Do you understand? -Hmm.
Folks! Escaping the flood
is the perfect time
to shed those unsightly pounds
with Fast Tony's Disaster Diet!
You, ma'am! You look like a
big, fat hairy beast!
-Ooh! -How'd you like to lose a ton or two, eh?
Would I ever!
Don't listen to him, Vera!
You're already thin as a twig.
Oh-ho! I also have the perfect cure
for your eyesight, my blind friend.
Yeow!
(GRUNTING)
(WHISTLES)
(GASPS)
Huh?
(GASPS)
Oh, we'll never make it at this pace.
Pablo, it's okay!
You can lose the camouflage!
-You're safe! -Okay! Safe? Please.
Crash, Eddie, you two scope it out.
-What you got? -Perimeter looks to be all clear, Captain.
-Roger that. One-niner, over. -Roger. Over, victor… Ow!
-(LAUGHING) -(GRUNTING)
-PABLO: Guys! -All clear!
Yahoo!
-Whoa! -(GRUNTS)
-Hawk! -(GASPS)
-(HAWK SHRIEKING) -(PANTING)
(PABLO CRASHING LOUD)
-What are you doing? -Playing dead.
Peri, why don't you do that?
Because I'm a Frost Fairy!
But you'd do it for treats, right?
Is he gone?
(SHRIEKS)
You're safe. Get up.
Whoo! Oh, man.
If you weren't here,
that hawk would've swooped down
and snatched me up for dinner.
That's how cousin Wilton went.
(WHISTLES)
Boy, I really feel for you. I do.
I can't even imagine what it'd be like
to be the last one of your species.
-I'm not the last one. -Oh, you brave, brave soul.
That's right. Don't give up hope.
(SIGHS) Peri?
Look at our footprints.
They're the same shape.
Well. How do I know those
aren't your footprints?
Well, then...
look at our shadows.
We match.
You're right. They're the same!
You must be part possum!
You wish.
Kristoff, there are whole continents
moving faster than you.
Let's go!
We gotta catch up with the others.
(POSSUMS LAUGHING)
-(LAUGHING)
-Yeah!
Hey, knock it off.
Whoa!
Oh, cry me a river, blubber-toothed
piranha. Have some fun.
Can't you see the ice is thin enough
without you two wearing to down?
Ah, Kristoff, come on.
The ice may be thin,
but it's strong enough to hold
a 10-ton penguin
and a 9-ton possum.
Hmm.
I even brought my rock collection.
-Get rid of those pebbles. -(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)
My feldspar!
I've got a really bad feeling about this.
My possum sense is tingling.
Possum sense? There's no such thing.
-(GASPS) -(BOTH WHOOPING)
(BLUBBERS)
(SCREAMING)
Mammal overboard!
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Ho!
-(GROWLS) -(SCREAMS)
EDDIE: Pablo, get up!
CRASH: If you play dead, you'll be dead!
Look at me!
(SCREAMS)
-Kristoff? Sven? -(PANTING)
Kristoff!
(YELLS)
Ah! Come on, Kristoff. Come on! Oh!
This might sting a little.
(ROARING)
(TINKER BELL SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
(GROWLING)
(GASPS)
(GRUNTS)
What in the animal kingdom was that?
I don't know, but from now on, land safe.
Water? Not safe.
That was the bravest thing I've ever seen.
-It was nothing really. I, uh… -Oh, it's not a compliment.
To a possum, bravery is just dumb.
-Yeah, we're spineless. -Lily-liveried.
Maybe Frost Fairies are going extinct
because they put themselves
in danger too often.
Maybe you should run away more.
Good point. Thanks for the advice.
Happy to help.
Do you believe him?
(GRUFFLY VOICE)
"Bravery's just dumb.
Maybe you should run away more."
He's infuriating and stubborn
and narrow-minded.
He's a penguin, all right.
-You like him! -I do not!
Oh, don't worry.
Your secret's safe with me.
-Oh, and so is yours. -What secret?
You know, the one where you can't swim.
That's ridiculous.
Fine, but we're living in a
melting world, buddy.
You're gonna have to face your
fear sooner... or... later.
(GUARD WHIMPERS)
Looks like we are busted.
(GRUMBLING)
Exactly what are we doing today?
I am doing my job.
All we need to do is look at the map
with the blinky lights. And wait.
This is how it is done here in Europe.
In America, we use 3-D
satellite LED displays.
Not cardboard with Christmas
lights stuck through it.
A blinky light! She is blinking! Let's go.
(BEEPING)
What is this? A toy?
This is my car, Le Maximum.
It is illegal now in most of the
EU for its massive size.
It's so needlessly spacious, I feel guilty.
(JEAN PIERRE YELLS IN FRENCH)
SAM THE EAGLE: I hate Europe.
JEAN PIERRE: Madrid, here we come!
Ah, this is the life, mon ami.
Out on the open road
with no schedule at all.
Except for Madrid.
(HORN BEEPING)
Get out of the way.
SAM THE EAGLE: Stay on the road!
JEAN PIERRE: Interpol!
Excusez-moi.
MAN: Watch out, everyone!
JEAN PIERRE: 37 hours. Not bad.
The Lemur. I knew it.
This doesn't make any sense.
Why break in, smash some priceless busts
and then not steal anything?
There must be something bigger going on.
-But what? -(CLOCK BELL TOLLING)
Ah, I've got it!
Oh, sorry. 2:00 PM. My day is over.
Wait. Those weirdos, the Muppets,
were performing next to the
crime scene in Berlin.
And here they are,
performing right next to the
crime scene in Madrid!
You know what that means.
-Yes, they love museums! -No!
They're suspects!
Okay. Overtime.
We must find these Muppets
before they flee the country.
To the train station!
Hey, Larry, want a bite of my bocadillos?
(WOMAN YELPS)
-What the... -Ah!
Are you all Les Muppets?
Wow, those are big badges!
-Thank you. -Merci...
Come, come. You must come with us
to answer some questions.
♪ Kermit, let's begin Describe the day you played Berlin
♪ We rehearsed, and then we walked about
♪ We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
♪ That night at 10:03
♪ Were you inside the portrait gallery?
♪ From ten o'clock till 10:04
♪ Was when we did the show's encore
♪ Hmm, frog we've got our doubts
♪ Can you confirm your whereabouts?
♪ My alibi is watertight
♪ The audience saw me sing all night
♪ Monsieur, we know you did the crime
♪ I was on stage that whole time
♪ Ask who sang Rainbow Connection
♪ Thank you, Kermit, no more questions
Allô. I think it's time for
good cop/romantic cop.
♪ Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside
♪ And now's your chance to save your hide
♪ Oh, gentlemen, I did not know
♪ It's a crime to steal the show
♪ Tell us how the art was taken
♪ If you want to save your bacon
♪ I haven't seen your missing art
♪ All I've stolen is audience hearts
♪ We can give you a plea deal
♪ All you have to do is squeal
♪ I'm not a thief I don't know how
♪ All I've ever taken is a bow
♪ We'll catch the swine
♪ That did this job
♪ Give up the pig puns, creep!
♪ Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion
♪ Thank you, Piggy, no more questions
I think she likes me. Huh?
I don't think your puns are
helping the investigation.
-♪ You know, I think they did it -♪ No, they didn't
♪ Yes, they did and we can pin it
♪ If they did how did they do it?
♪ If they didn't how did they didn't?
♪ If they didn't then it's easy 'cause they simply didn't do it
♪ If they did it, then I knew it but we've nothing that can prove it
-(CLEARS THROAT) Oh. Excuse me. -(GROANS)
Bring in the purple guy with the schnoz.
♪ Do you remember what you did
♪ On the night you played Madrid?
♪ I was hit by a raging bull
♪ And rushed off stage to the hospital
♪ Gonzo, what do you know
♪ About a sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado
♪ I never saw the stolen busts
♪ I spent the night in bed concussed
♪ The truth, Gonzo the clock is tickin'
♪ If you don't believe me ask the chicken
♪ Camilla was there she'll cooperate
♪ Madame, are you willing to corroborate?
(CLUCKING FRANTICALLY)
Will someone get this chicken out of here?
♪ Calm down, Camilla it's a routine inspection
♪ Thank you, Gonzo no more questions
♪ Let's go from the start
♪ What do you know about the stolen art?
♪ I didn't know there was a plan
♪ Your accusation's far out, man
♪ The chances of us committing a crime are less than .009
(SPEAKING MOCK SWEDISH)
♪ To help with our investigation
♪ Could someone provide a full translation?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-(QUACKING) -(YELLING)
(LAUGHS)
♪ Uh, I can do an Elvis impression
♪ Thank you, Muppets No more questions
-♪ They didn't -♪ No, they didn't
♪ There's no way they did the crime
-♪ They couldn't, they're too stupid -♪ Not criminal masterminds
♪ We do not know who did it But we know who didn't do it
♪ So we know who didn't do it
♪ Yes, we know who didn't do it
♪ They're incapable of being culpable! ♪
Hi!
SAM THE EAGLE: Come on.
Let's go over the files again.
(CHITTERS AND GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
(SQUEALS)
(GASPS)
-(SCREAMING) -(JAWS CLACKING)
(BLUBBERING)
(GASPS)
(FEROCIOUS YELLING)
Yeoh!
(YELLS) Hmm!
(WHIMPERS)
(WHINES)
(GUARDS SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
(SCREAMS)
Stop digging escape tunnel, frog.
How did you know?
It's the first escape everyone tries.
-(SCREAMS) -That's the second escape people try.
(GRUNTING)
(TOILET FLUSHES)
Oh, boy.
Third way!
(SCREAMS)
Give up, frog.
I have Netflix account
with search keywords "prison escape."
I have seen every prison
movie ever made.
Even the ones in space.
(SIGHS)
Yeah, well... (GASPS)
Hey, wait a second.
That's them! That's my friends!
What happened to them?
We're in the middle of the tour!
"Dominic Badguy...
It's pronounced "Bad-gee."
"An interview with the brains behind
"the Muppets' triumphant
comeback world tour."
What?
It seems your friends do not
need you anymore.
They have forgotten about you.
Oh, no, no, no.
They wouldn't.
They couldn't.
We're a family.
"Family"?
No one believes in family
in the Gulag, frog.
People are only ever out for themselves.
(SIGHS)
Listen, Kermit.
You work in the business
of shows, correct?
We have annual lighthearted
Gulag Revue coming up.
It is that, or they riot.
Since you're here forever,
I thought you might help me.
-I am the director. -Uh...
The thing is Nadya,
I'm sort of done doing that,
but thanks for the offer.
This is not offer. This is prison.
You are going to help me.
Rehearsals tomorrow, 4:00 AM.
Or I put you on The Wall.
"The Wall"?
Why would I be afraid of a wall?
Ugh! (GRUNTING)
Just direct the show. You'll never escape.
What time did you say
that rehearsal was?
Ouch!
(CRASH GRUNTING)
CRASH: Almost there!
-Okay. Ready, Eddie? -Set!
Let's roll.
-Yee-haw! -EDDIE: Wait for me!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(BOTH WHOOPING)
Whoo-hoo!
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTS) No brakes! Gotta roll!
Meet you at the other end!
So you think he's the boy for me?
Yeah. He's tons of fun,
and you're no fun at all.
He completes you.
Whoa!
-Yeah! -Hey! Hey, Peri!
Can you pull back the tree
and shoot me into the pond?
-No. -Oh, come on!
How do you expect to impress
Pablo with that attitude?
I don't want to impress him!
Why are you trying so hard
to convince him he's a penguin?
Because that's what he is!
I don't care if he thinks he's a possum.
You can't be two things.
Au contraire, mon "fered."
Tell that to the bullfrog,
the chicken hawk or turtledove.
You're never going to let up on you.
It'll be easier on all of us if you
just go with it.
(GROANS)
So, uh, what do you want me to do?
Pull back the tree
and shoot me into the pond.
I don't know.
Well, if you're too lame to do it,
we can get Pablo.
No, no, no. No, I can do it. I can do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Come on. Come on.
-Have you done this before? -Ha! Only a million times.
Farther! Farther! Farther!
Perfect. Fire!
-(WHIMPERS) -Yeah! I can fly!
♪ I believe I can fly...
(GRUNTS)
Oh!
(YELLS) Crash!
Uh-oh.
Oh, Crash! Crash!
Crash, are you okay?
-What happened? -Peri shot him out of a tree.
-What's wrong with you? -He said he could do it.
And you listened to him.
Crash, whatever you do,
don't go into the light!
Can I help in any way here?
You've done enough. Just go. Please.
Are you happy now?
EDDIE: Crash!
Crash, don't leave me!
Who's gonna watch my back?
Who's gonna be
my wingman of mayhem?
Who's gonna roll in that
dung patch with me?
-(SOBS) -Dung patch?
Wait! My legs!
-I can stand! -He can stand!
-I can run! -He can run! It's a miracle!
-Hallelujah! -(WHOOPING)
PABLO: Yeah!
(CHUCKLING)
Ooh! What can I say? They're boys.
They make my life a little adventure.
You guys are so dead!
Thanks for embarrassing me!
EDDIE: Ow! Not the face!
(GRUNTS)
(POSSUMS GIGGLING)
-Oh! Oh! Oh! -EDDIE: Pablo! Pablo!
-Me too! -KRISTOFF: He's not half bad.
Crazy and confused, but sweet.
-So? -(GRUNTS)
So, what's holding you back?
(TREE TRUNK CRASHES)
My family.
You can have that again, you know.
No, Tink, I can't.
(YELPING) Okay, okay.
But... But think about it.
If you let this chance go,
you're letting your whole species go…
and that's just, uh… That's just selfish.
(SCREAMING)
I think I'm starting to get through to her.
-(LAUGHING) -Wait, wait. I got you.
-CRASH: Slowpoke! -(GRUNTING)
(SIGHS)
-Need help? -No. No. Just, uh, catching my breath.
-You're stuck. -I am not.
All right. Then let's go.
PABLO: I can't.
I'm stuck.
Don't you think that picking them up
like this would be easier?
Pablo?
I know this place.
(FAIRY'S BELL JINGLING)
(SQUAWKING)
A penguin never forgets.
You know, deep down I knew
I was different.
I was a little bigger than the
other possum kids.
Okay, a lot bigger.
Oh!
Now I understand why the possum
boys didn't find me appealing.
That's too bad because as far
as Frost Fairies go...
you're, uh…
You know.
What?
Well, um… Uh… Well, attractive.
-Really? -Sure.
-What about me is attractive? -Huh?
Well… Oh, well, I don't know.
Uh… Uh, well, there's your…
Uh, tail feather?
What about it?
It's… fluffy?
Oh, you're just saying that!
No. No! No, I mean it. It's fuzzy!
Fluffiest tail feather I've ever seen.
Oh! That is really sweet!
What a crazy day.
This morning I woke up a possum…
And now I'm a penguin.
Come on. Let's go uproot something.
I want to see what this new
Frost Fairy body can do
But you've always had that body!
(CRACKING)
(GASPS AND SQUEALING)
(GASPS)
(SNIFFS AND WHINES)
(PANTING) Ooh!
(EGG CHASING LOUD)
(CHIRPS)
(CHIRPING)
-Bah! -(SQUAWKS)
-(SQUAWKING) -(SCREAMS)
(BLUBBERS)
(FEROCIOUS YELLING)
(SQUAWKING)
(PANTING AND GRUNTS)
-(SQUAWKING) -(WHIMPERING)
(CONDOR SQUAWKING LOUD)
(GRUNTS)
(WHIMPERS)
(CHIRPS)
(PEEPS)
(SCREAMS)
(CHIRPS)
(HUMMING)
(BUSHES RUSTLING)
Hmm. (HUMMING)
-Ahh! -(BUSHES RUSTLING)
Boy, Periwinkle sure took
a big leap with Pablo today.
He sure did.
Yup. He stood on the shore
of uncertainty and dove right in.
Splash!
Kind of brave, huh, the way
he faced his fear?
I wouldn't know. Piranhas don't feel fear.
Oh, come on. All fairies feel fear.
It's what separates us from, say,
rocks. Rocks have no fear.
-And they sink. -What are you getting at, Tink?
It may surprise you to know that I,
too, have experienced fear.
-No! You? -Oh, yeah, yes.
As impossible as it seems,
the fairy has natural enemies
that would like to harm
or otherwise "kill" us.
-I wonder why. -Oh, jealousy mostly.
But the point is that fear is natural.
Fear is for prey.
Well, then you're letting the water
make you its prey.
Just jump in and trust your instincts.
You know, most people
can swim as babies.
And for a piranha,
it's like crawling on your belly
to stalk helpless prey.
But faster, okay?
Now, claw, kick, claw, kick.
I'm stalking the prey. Claw, kick.
Now, I look back over my shoulder
to see if I'm being followed
and I'm breathing... (INHALES)
And I'm stalking, and I'm stalking.
And I'm... (SCREAMS)
I'm falling.
Correction.
You're sinking, kind of like a rock.
(GROANS)
Oh! Hey, do we do any
special tricks like roll over
or do we just throw our weight around?
-(GRUNTS) Whoa! -Whoops! Sorry.
I don't know my own strength yet.
Pablo, do you realize that now we have
a chance to save our species?
Really? How we gonna do that?
Oh, well, you know.
-Oh, uh-uh. Did you just...  -PERIWINKLE: No, I didn't mean...
Unbelievable!
I'm not a penguin for five minutes,
and you're hitting on me?
I wasn't saying... Not right now.
Um, in time.
I was just saying
that it's our responsibility.
-What? -Uh, all right.
That came out wrong. I...
You're pretty cute, but we just met and...
Responsibility?
Just doing your duty, huh? Is that it?
Ready to make the ultimate sacrifice
to save your species.
-Uh... -Well, I got some news for you.
You're not saving the species
tonight or any other night.
(SIGHS)
JEAN PIERRE: Okay.
What about this comedian bear?
He is too stupid to be stupid.
He must be some sort of genius.
Maybe your "Lemur" hunch is correct.
(SIGHS)
Except for the tact that Les Muppets
play tomorrow night at the Dublin Theatre.
Which just happens to be next door
to the Irish National Bank!
Maybe your Muppet hunch is...
Correct.
It's almost as if we're...
BOTH: Not so different
after
all.
Come, come, mon ami!
We must follow the Muppets to Dublin!
To Dublin!
-Après vous. -No, no, after you.
-No, après vous. -No, please, after you.
-Mon cher ami, après vous. -I insist.
CONSTANTINE: Kremlin!
Huh?
Putin!
MISS PIGGY: No, what are you doing?
-Okay, number five, baby. Blow. -Come on.
-There you go. You know the routine. -Come on, Diddy Daddy!
(CHEERING)
-Hey. guys? Fellas? -Whoa!
Ah!
ZOOT: Whoa, man!
Hey, did you see that?
-(WHISTLES LOUDLY)-Huh?
Um, do you guys think that Kermit's
been acting a little weird lately?
ALL: No.
(SIGHS)
You're probably right. It's just me.
(SIGHING) Bad frog.
So, how did it go?
Mmm. Not bad.
(GROANS)
PABLO: Okay, let's go.
We traveled with you all day.
Now you're coming with us at night.
But we can't see at night.
Then enjoy the flood.
-I can't even look at her. -Pervert!
Making friends. Everywhere you go,
just making friends.
-(GRUNTS) -Watch out. There's a stump.
(STRAINED) Not anymore.
I, uh… I thought we could walk together.
Crash, ask the Frost Fairy
why she thinks that.
He said he thinks you're a jerk
and to go away.
He didn't say... Ow!
Look, maybe if we spend more time... Ow!
Tell her that I need a little
personal space right now.
He said go jump in a lake.
And possums rule!
-I can hear him, you know? -What do you want, a medal?
-(SCREAMING) -(GASPING)
-Let's get off this thing! -Whoa!
(GASPING)
-Stop moving!  -PERIWINKLE: Whoa!
Thank you.
(WHIMPERING)
Periwinkle, Pablo! Lock arms!
-(SCOFFS) -Now!
Crash, Eddie! Grab on to that ledge!
(GASPS)
(LAUGHS) Funny! Now what's your real plan?
-Just do it! What I say! -Bye, Eddie.
-Bye, Crash. -Bye, Pablo!
-Go now! -(GRUNTS)
Um, uh… I'm sorry
if what I said before offended you.
What do you mean, "if" it offended me?
-Whoa! -That it offended him!
That it offended him!
I mean "that." That it offended you.
-You just overreacted, that's all. -What?
-Take it back! -There are other lives at stake here!
-Wait a minute. She's got a point. -He's got nothing!
-It was a misunderstanding! -It was insensitive!
-Apologize! -Why me? She overreacted!
This wouldn't be happening if Dad
had let her date Cousin Vinnie.
-Just apologize! -PERIWINKLE: No.
-Do it! -Okay. I'm sorry.
-ALL: What? -He's right.
-I overreacted. -You mean you…
Not another word, or I'll come down
there and push you over myself!
I got it. I got it.
I got it! (YELLS)
Uh-oh.
(YELLING)
Periwinkle! Pablo! Run! Run!
(YELLS)
I guess we finally did
something right together.
KRISTOFF: Hey, don't mind me.
Just hanging off the edge of a cliff here.
(GRUNTING)
(HUMS)
(SIGHS) Remember the good old days?
Which good old days?
Oh, you know, yesterday, last week…
Back when the trees went up and down
and the ground stayed under our feet?
(CHUCKLES) Yup.
Those were the good days.
Possums were possums
and penguins were penguins.
We should get some sleep.
Yeah.
Four days' time's the day the vulture
said that we're all gonna die.
(SNORING)
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(SNORING)
(TREE BRANCH CREAKING)
(SNORING)
(MUTTERING)
(SMACKING LIPS)
No, no. I don't want any.
(SNORING)
Whoop! Nyuck. Nyuck-nyuck-nyuck.
Oh, no, no, no, no. (SUCKING THUMB)
(YAWNS)
Wait a minute. Uh, can I help you?
(ALL SIGHING)
For me?
-(SNIFFS AND SNEEZES) -(ALL EXCLAIM)
Mmm. Now, that's what I call respect.
-(GIGGLING) -Ooh! Nice.
(GASPS)
Somebody here likes Tink.
Who is your decorator?
I mean, this is fabulous.
Hmm. (GRUNTS)
-Fire Queen. -Huh?
Rocks.
Fire Queen? Hmm!
Well, you know, it's about time
someone recognized my true potential.
Let there be fire!
(YELLS)
ALL: Oh!
-(VINE SIZZLING) -(SNIFFING)
-(GASPS) Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch! -Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!
-Hey! -Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Ah!
-(WHOOPING) -(WHOOPING)
(CHUCKLES)
Wacka, wacka, wacka, wacka.
Wackaka, wackaka, wackaka, wackaka,
wackaka, wackaka, wack!
-(HOOTING) -(HOOTING)
(CHANTING)
-(RHYTHMIC TONGUE CLICKING) -(RHYTHMIC TONGUE CLICKING)
Humina, humina, humina, humina,
humina, humina. (EXHALES)
Humina, humina, humina, humina,
humina, humina, ooh!
(VOCALIZING)
-(RHYTHMIC HOOTING) -(AMPHIBIANS VOCALIZING)
-(AMPHIBIANS CHANTING) -(AMPHIBIANS STOMPING FEET)
(AMPHIBIANS SQUEALING)
FROG: Wow!
If only the guys could see me now.
(GASPS)
This is either really good or really bad.
-(AMPHIBIANS CHANTING) -(SCREAMS) Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Me Fire Queen. Why kill Fire Queen?
A thousand years bad juju for
killing Fire Queen.
Superheated rock from the Earth's core
is surging to the crust,
melting ice built up over
thousands of years.
You're a very advanced race.
Together we can look for a solution!
We have one. Sacrifice the Fire Queen.
-Well, that's not very advanced. -Worth a shot.
No! No! (SCREAMING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(SCREAMING)
(BLUBBERING)
(GRUNTS)
(SCREAMS)
(SCREAMING)
(EXCLAIMING)
Bad juju!
(GROANING)
(SCREAMING)
Ow! Ow! Ow, ow!
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
ALL: (TUNELESSLY) ♪ Come to the end of the road
♪ Still I can't
♪ Let go
♪ It's unnatural
♪ You belong to me
♪ I belong to you ♪
Enough!
You're all terrible.
Fix this. Or it's The Wall.
Oh.
Of course.
Guys, um... (CLEARS THROAT)
It's always good to start with an
up-tempo song and dance
and then go into a comedy routine.
You really want to save your ballad
until the end.
But we like Boyz II Men!
It is Big Papa's favorite song.
Lot of emotions in that song for him.
I'm not learning no other song.
I'm a triple threat!
A singer, a dancer and a murderer!
There you go. How do you like that?
Drum solo! Drum solo!
When do I do the
indoor running of the bulls?
What about the band's
marathon jam session?
Four of five musical numbers.
Quiet!
Now, look! This song does not work.
It's a six-part harmony, for crying out loud!
Forget it, it's not happening.
Now you...
You're... You're not eyeballing me.
Are you eyeballing me?
-No, no. -Are you eyeballing me?
Now, look! We are holding
auditions tomorrow.
And if any of you have a
problem with that,
any of you, then my door is always open!
(PANTING)
Thank you, Kermit.
This is what we've
all been waiting to hear.
You have?
Teach us, Kermit.
We will do whatever frog say.
Put it there.
Good night, frog. Nice work today.
Thanks, Nadya.
Even if your friends don't need you, we certainly do.
Good night.
-Good night, Big Papa. -'Night, Nadya.
-Good night, Carl. -Good night, Nadya.
-Good night, Prison King. -Good night, Nadya.
-Good night, Skullcrusher. -Good night.
-Good night, Danny Trejo. -Good night, Nadya.
NADYA: No one believes in family
in the Gulag, frog.
People are only ever out for themselves.
(SIGHING)
(YAWNING)
(GROANS) Water? Water!
(SCREAMS)
-(GASPS) -(WATER SPLASHES)
Crash, I told you not to drink before bed.
I didn't do this! At least not all of it.
-What's happening? -We overslept. We need to move.
What if we're the last fairies left alive?
-We'll have to repopulate the Earth! -How?
Everyone's either a dude or our brother.
TINKER BELL: Oh, hi!
Hey, Peri! Wow. What a night.
You'll never guess what happened to me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb here
and say you were sleepwalking.
Oh, no, no, no. I was kidnapped
by a tribe of amphibians.
-That was gonna be my second guess. -And they worshipped me!
I mean, sure, they tossed me into a
flaming tar pit, but they worshipped me.
Tink, you were dreaming.
Come on. The water's rising faster
than we're moving.
I'm telling you, I was kidnapped.
I was worshipped and...
Guys! Oh, fine.
So, how exactly
are you planning to stop this weather?
Oh. I am gonna talk to my sister.
That's your plan?
My ice business is riding on
you talking to your sister?
-Yep. -(GRUNTS)
So, you're not at all afraid of her?
-Why would I be? -Yeah.
I bet she's the nicest,
gentlest, warmest person ever.
Oh. Look at that.
I've been impaled. (CHUCKLING)
What now?
KRISTOFF: Mmm...
It's too steep.
I've only got one rope and you don't
know how to climb mountains.
-ANNA: Says who? -(GRUNTS)
Hmm?
What are you doing?
I'm going to see my sister.
You're gonna kill yourself.
-(GRUNTS) -I wouldn't put my foot there.
-You're distracting me. -Or there.
How do you know
Elsa even wants to see you?
ANNA: All right. I'm just blocking you out
because I gotta concentrate, here.
(GRUNTING)
You know, most people who disappear
into the mountains want to be alone.
Nobody wants to be alone.
Except maybe you.
I'm not alone. I have friends, remember?
ANNA: You mean, the love experts?
Yes, the love experts.
(GRUNTS) Ah...
Please tell me I'm almost there.
Does the air seem a bit thin
to you up here?
-(TINKER BELL PANTING) -(CHUCKLES)
Hang on.
OLAF: Hey, Sven?
Not sure if this is gonna
solve the problem,
but I found a staircase that leads exactly
where you wanted to go.
Ha-ha! Thank goodness. Catch!
(BOTH GRUNT)
Thanks.
That was like a crazy trust exercise.
(OLAF CHUCKLING)
BOTH: Whoa.
Now, that's ice.
I might cry.
Go ahead. I won't judge.
(GRUNTS)
All right, take it easy, boy. Come here.
I got you. (GRUNTS)
Okay. You stay right here, buddy.
(WHISTLES)
Flawless.
Knock.
Just knock.
Why isn't she knocking?
Do you think she knows how to knock?
(GASPS)
(EXHALES) Huh. It opened.
That's a first.
Oh. You should probably wait out here.
-What? -The last time I introduced her to a guy,
she froze everything.
But, but... Oh, come on!
It's a palace made of ice. Ice is my life!
Bye, Sven.
You, too, Olaf.
-Me? -Just give us a minute.
Okay.
(SOFTLY) One, two,
-three... -BOTH: Four...
Whoa.
Elsa?
It's me, Anna.
(EXCLAIMS)
-ELSA: Anna. -(GASPS)
Whoa. Elsa, you look different.
It's a good different.
And this place...
It's amazing.
Thank you.
I never knew what I was capable of.
I'm so sorry about what happened.
If I'd have known...
No, no, no. It's okay.
You don't have to apologize,
but you should probably go.
Please.
But I just got here.
You belong over in WGP Inc.
So do you.
No, Anna, I belong here.
Alone.
Where I can be who I am
without hurting anybody.
Actually, about that...
-OLAF: Sixty! -Wait. What is that?
Hi! I'm Olaf and I like warm hugs!
Olaf?
Yeah. You built me.
Remember that?
And you're alive?
(STAMMERS) Um... I think so.
He's just like the one we built as kids.
Yeah.
Elsa, we were so close.
We can be like that again.
YOUNG ANNA: Catch me! YOUNG ELSA: Slow down!
(GRUNTS)
Anna!
(GASPS) No.
We can't. Goodbye, Anna.
Elsa, wait.
No, I'm just trying to protect you.
You don't have to protect me.
I'm not afraid.
Please don't shut me out again.
♪ Please don't slam the door
♪ You don't have to keep Your distance anymore
♪ 'Cause for the first time in forever
♪ I finally understand
♪ For the first time in forever
♪ We can fix this hand in hand
♪ We can head down to England together.
♪ You don't have to live in fear
♪ 'Cause for the first time in forever
♪ I will be right here
Anna.
♪ Please go back home
♪ Your life awaits
♪ Go enjoy the sun And open up the gates
-Yeah, but... -I know.
♪ You mean well But leave me be
♪ Yes, I'm alone
♪ But I'm alone and free
♪ Just stay away And you'll be safe from me
♪ Actually, we're not
♪ What do you mean, you're not?
♪ I get the feeling you don't know
♪ What do I not know?
♪ Arendelle's in deep, deep, deep
♪ Deep snow
What?
You kind of set off an
eternal winter everywhere.
Everywhere?
Well, it's okay, you can just unfreeze it.
No, I can't. I don't know how.
Sure you can. I know you can.
♪ 'Cause for the first time in forever
♪ Oh, I'm such a fool! I can't be free!
♪ You don't have to be afraid
♪ No escape from the storm inside of me
♪ We can work this out together
♪ I can't control the curse!
♪ We'll reverse the storm you've made
♪ Anna, please you'll only make it worse!
♪ Don't panic There's so much fear!
♪ We'll make the sun shine bright
♪ You're not safe here!
♪ We can face this thing together
♪ No!
♪ We can change this winter weather
♪ And everything will be all right
♪ I can't! ♪
(GASPING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
(GASPS)
KRISTOFF: Anna!
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
I'm fine.
What's this?
Wait, it doesn't matter. Just...
You have to go.
No, I know we can
figure this out together.
How?
What power do you have
to stop this winter?
To stop me?
Miss Bell, I think we should get Dewey.
No, I'm not leaving without you, Elsa.
Yes, you are.
-(LOW GROWLING) -(GASPS)
(GROWLS)
ANNA: Stop! Put us down!
-Go away. -(ALL SCREAMING)
(SHUDDERING)
(BOTH YELP)
Heads up!
Watch out for my above!
(BOTH GASP)
It is not nice to throw people!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, feisty-pants.
Okay, relax.
-Just calm down! Calm down! -Okay! All right!
-I'm okay. -Just let the snowman be.
-I'm calm. -Great.
-(GRUNTS) -Oh! Come on!
(ROARING)
Oh. Look, see? Now, you made him mad.
I'll distract him. You guys go.
No, no! Not you guys!
(MUFFLED)
This just got a whole lot harder.
-(TINK SHRIEKS) -(GROWLS)
KRISTOFF: Look out!
(TINK SCREAMING)
(ROARS)
-(TINK GASPS) -(BOTH PANTING)
KRISTOFF: Run! Run!
KRISTOFF: What are you doing?
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
I got him! (LAUGHS)
KRISTOFF: Whoa! Stop!
ANNA: It's a 100-foot drop.
KRISTOFF: It's 200.
-Ow! -(MARSHMALLOW ROARS)
-What's that for? -I'm digging a snow anchor.
Okay. What if we fall?
There's 20 feet of fresh
powder down there.
It'll be like landing on a pillow.
Hopefully.
(GASPS)
(ROARING)
Okay, Anna. On three.
ANNA: Okay. KRISTOFF: One...
You tell me when. I'm ready to go.
-Two... -I was born ready! Yes!
Calm down.
(GRUNTS)
ANNA: Tree!
What the... Whoa!
-(BOTH GRUNT) -KRISTOFF: That happened.
(PANTING) Man, am I out of shape.
(GASPS)
There we go. Hey, Anna!
Sven! Where did you guys go?
We totally lost Marshmallow back there.
Hey! We were just talking about you.
All good things, all good things.
No!
(GRUNTING)
This is not making much
of a difference, is it?
(SHRIEKS)
Olaf!
(GRUNTS) Hang in there, guys!
Go. Go faster!
(BOTH STRUGGLING)
-Wait, what? -KRISTOFF: Hey!
(MARSHMALLOW GROWLING)
-(BOTH EXCLAIM) -Ow!
Kristoff!
(TINK GASPING)
Don't come back!
We won't.
-(GRUNTING) -(BOTH SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
Hey, you were right. Just like a pillow.
(CHUCKLES)
-(OLAF PANTING) -Olaf!
I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my legs!
(COUGHING)
-Those are my legs. -Ooh!
Hey, do me a favor, grab my body.
Oh. That feels better.
Hey, Sven! He found us.
Who's my cute little reindeer?
-Don't talk to him like that. -(CHUCKLING)
You're tickling me.
Here.
Whoa!
Are you okay?
Thank you.
-How's your head? -Ah! Ooh!
(STAMMERING)
It's fine. Uh...
Uh, I'm good. I've got a thick skull.
I don't have a skull.
Or bones.
So, uh... So, now what?
Now what? (CHUCKLES)
Now what?
Oh...
What am I gonna do?
She threw me out.
I can't go back to the world tour
with the weather like this.
And then there's your ice business.
Hey, hey.
Don't worry about my ice business.
-Worry about your hair! -What?
I just fell off a cliff.
You should see your skin.
No, yours is turning white.
White? It's... What?
It's because she struck you, isn't it?
Does it look bad?
-No. -You hesitated.
No, I didn't.
Anna, you need help, okay? Come on.
Okay! Where are we going?
To see my friends tomorrow night.
The love experts?
-Love experts? -Uh-huh.
And don't worry, they'll be able to fix this.
How do you know?
Because I've seen them do it before.
I like to consider myself a love expert.
(SVEN GRUNTS)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Get it together.
Control it.
Don't feel. Don't feel.
Don't feel.
Don't feel! (GASPS)
(ICE CRACKLING)
TINKER BELL:
Um... Oh, I know. Favorite star?
PERIWINKLE: Second star
-to the right. -To the right.
Okay. Favorite drink?
Hot chamomile tea.
Iced chamomile tea!
-Oh! -(CHUCKLES)
Okay, my turn. How about favorite bug?
Bug? It's too cold for bugs over here,
but in one of Dewey's books,
I read about butterflies.
Oh, in Dublin, there's hundreds of them.
It's in Summer. It's right over...
Um... Hmm.
I guess you can't see it from here.
(SIGHS)
No. You can't.
What's it like over there?
Warm.
And the colors? The sounds?
All the animals. And the fish.
They swim in melted ice, right?
Water.
(SIGHS) I wish...
I wish I could go there.
-Peri? -Yeah?
I made it warmer over here.
Maybe I could make it colder over there.
Are you... (GASPS)
Are you saying I could cross?
-Yeah! -Oh, Tink.
You could show me your world.
I could meet your friends.
Do you think I could see a butterfly?
There's a pretty good chance.
Oh!
(ICE CRACKING)
Uh, Tink?
(BOTH SCREAMING)
-I can't fly! -Tink!
Hold on. Hold on!
I'm slipping!
That's it, Fiona. That's it.
Are you guys all right?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Are you sure? Nothing broken?
Nothing bruised?
No. We're okay.
(SIGHS) This time.
Lord Milori was right.
Crossing the border is just too dangerous.
What are you saying?
I'm sorry, girls,
but I'm afraid this isn't going
to work out like you hoped.
We have to take Tinker Bell home.
Let's go, Fiona.
It's...
It's for your own good.
(MEOWS)
(WHIMPERING)
I can't watch, Fiona.
(SNIFFLING)
I promised myself
I wasn't going to do this.
Okay. Here's the plan.
Meet me here tomorrow.
Oh, thank goodness. I thought you
were really saying goodbye.
No! I just met my sister and
went on the journey
to escape the flood I never knew I had
and I'm going to say goodbye forever?
Are you kidding?
So... (WHISPERING)
Clank? Bobble?
Guys?
(SCREAMS)
(TINK GROANS)
Oopsie.
(GASPS) Tink! You're back!
(GRUNTS)
-Yes. (CHUCKLES) -CLANK: Sorry!
We thought you were a troll.
A troll?
I knew we shouldn't have
used the troll stopper.
What if it was a troll?
You'd be saying something different,
wouldn't you?
Guys. It doesn't matter.
Oh, right.
-I need your help. -Is it about a glacier?
No. But it's kind of a secret.
I don't want everybody to know.
(BOTH GASP)
I'm pretty sure these buttons will work,
but we're going to need more of them.
Aye, unless we use a couple
of acorn caps.
Right! Good idea.
Ha! Now where is that Clanky?
CLANK: Oh, yes, I'm right here.
Oh!
I didn't tell everybody.
Just Fawn, Ro, Sil, Dess, and Vidia.
So, there's another you.
-Vidia! -Yeah.
I've got a sister.
(CHUCKLES) I told you!
Bust my bonnet.
SILVERMIST: Amazing! FAWN: It's fantastic!
I can't believe this is happening.
But how?
They were born of the same laugh!
Tell them, Tink,
what you told me and Bobble.
Her name's Periwinkle.
She's a Frost Fairy,
and she's just amazing.
I'm making this machine so she can
come to Dublin and meet you all,
and after that we'll go straight
to Queen Clarion!
Oh...
Um, have you thought this through?
"Hi, Queen Clarion. Meet the Winter
Fairy I smuggled over the border."
Vidia!
When Queen Clarion hears
how we found each other,
and that we're sisters,
she will change Lord Milori's rule.
Oh, of course she will.
She'd never want you to be apart.
It's like you found the perfect lost thing.
And I'm never going to lose her.
Well, then, let's get to work!
Just tell us what to do.
Great!
Okay. We need to place
that wheel right here.
IRIDESSA: Got you, Tink.
And let's get that propped up over there.
ROSETTA: I feel so tinkery.
-Clank, Bobble... -Wait, wait.
Finish up the chassis?
Exactly.
-Come on, Clanky! -Bobble!
Perhaps you and I are brothers!
It's possible.
We look almost exactly alike.
BRENT: You are looking live at beautiful
Dublin, Ireland, on the Irish Riviera.
What a magnificent setting
for the second tour
of the World Global Pavilion Inc.!
DAVID: Brent, they call this place
the "Emerald of the Riviera,"
and it's easy to see why.
With its secluded bridges
and opulent fountains,
Dublin truly is a playground
for the wealthy.
And everyone who's anyone is here today,
from the ultra-rich and super-famous
to world leaders
and important dignitaries.
BRENT: You aren't kidding, David.
You can't do a three-point turn
without bumping into some celebrity.
Welcome, everyone, to the second show
of the World Global Pavilion Inc.,
where the big news continues
to be Incanta.
Sir Axlerod spoke to the press
earlier today
to answer questions about its safety.
An independent panel of scientists
has determined
that Incanta is completely safe, okay?
Safe. There it is.
So the show will go on, folks.
But the question everyone is asking:
will the real dust keeper fairy
show up today?
BRENT: He'd better. Talk about
a home track advantage.
Fionnoula MacLise grew up
touring on this course.
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen,
in first position, Number One, Fionnoula!
Alainn! Thank you for your support!
And your big mistake, Terence!
ANNOUNCER: In second position,
number 95, Terence the dust keeper!
Terence, is everything okay?
If you're worried about your cold, dude,
don't. It's perfectly safe.
No, guys, I just really wish
Tinker Bell were here.
Fionnoula understands, Kermit.
Oh, great, here it comes.
What do you got, Fionnoula?
For famous tourists like
Fionnoula and, well, you,
to be far away from home is not easy.
I think you forgot the insulting
part of that insult.
Is no insult.
When Fionnoula is away from home,
she misses her mama,
just like you miss
your Tinker Fairy friend.
Gee, I maybe misjudged you,
because that's exactly...
Of course, I am at home,
and my mama is right here.
Mama!
Don't worry, Mama, Terence is very sad.
I will beat his cry-baby bottom today!
And there's the insult we were missing.
BRENT: Lewis, the tourists
are settling in as they head
to the Irish countryside.
LEWIS: Whoo, boy!
This is gonna be a great race.
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
WALTER: Well, well, well.
What's he up to?
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
Hmm.
Huh?
(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
(GASPS)
(PANTING)
DOMINIC: Gentlemen.
I need this review
to go into Friday's paper.
Super positive. Five stars.
I won't be paid off for a review.
I'm a journalist.
I'm joking, of course. Cash or credit?
-(STATUE BREAKING) -Oh!
-What was that? -Rats.
Who cares?
(WHISTLES)
Hand these tickets out to
anyone who will take one.
In fact, you may have to actually
pay people to come.
It's the Muppets. It's not gonna be easy.
Last time they were here,
they sold eight tickets.
I'm a theater manager,
-not a miracle worker. -Mmm. Oh.
And I want a standing ovation.
Oh, dear.
Where does he keep all those suitcases?
(MUNCHING)
FOZZIE: Hmm. Let's see here.
What's Kermit doing
on the cover of this newspaper?
(SHRIEKS)
(LAUGHS)
(PANTING) Oh! Ow!
Dominic's the bad guy!
Dominic's the bad guy!
-Fozzie! -Mmm?
Dominic's the reason
we've been selling out our shows!
He's been giving away tickets
and bribing journalists
to write great reviews!
(GROANS) Why didn't
we ever think of doing that?
Huh?
I mean, that's terrible!
The question is, why?
And could it have anything to do with
why Kermit's been acting so weird lately?
You think he's been acting weird?
I've only known Kermit a few months,
but hasn't he been doing a lot more karate than normal?
It's probably Dominic's influence.
Hey, wanna see something funny?
Yes, Constantine,
the world's most dangerous frog.
Fozzie, what does he have to do
with what I just told you?
Nothing, but check this out.
A-ha!
Oh, look, it's Kermit.
FOZZIE: A-ha!
(SHRIEKS)
What did you do with Kermit?
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)
Wait a minute.
Fozzie...
What if Kermit has been replaced
by this Constantine guy?
(BULB BUZZES)
Nah, that's impossible. We'd all notice!
Wouldn't we?
(KNOCKING)
Kermit?
Are... Are you there?
Hello?
FOZZIE: Kermit?
Everything's fine. Let's get out of here.
-Wait! -Whoa!
We should look around.
(TICKING)
Huh. Kermit's got a big bomb collection.
Looks like he's planning
some sort of comedy heist bit.
I hope not. Those never work.
Mmm.
WALTER: What's that?
(GASPS)
Oh, no.
What, what, what? What?
Oh, no.
(BOTH SCREAMING)
-We got to get out of here! -Yeah!
Not so fast.
Where's Kermit? And why are you here?
What do you want?
You have wocka-ed
your last wocka, bear.
(YELLS)
Huh?
-Bad frog! -FOZZIE: Animal!
-Oh, good boy! -Great job!
-Thank you. -(GASPING)
(CONSTANTINE GROANS)
-(GROWLS) -(ALL SCREAM)
Quick! The freight train!
Go, go, go!
(ALL YELLING)
(GROWLS)
(EXCLAIMS)
We got to go back! Warn the others!
I tried. They didn't believe me.
It's our word against his and,
well, he's fooled them all.
Should we go to the police?
We don't have any evidence!
(SIGHING) I feel terrible.
I'm the one who talked Kermit
into doing this tour in the first place.
I wish Kermit was here!
He would know what to do.
You're right.
There's only one guy in this world
who can save us.
Only one frog who can restore order,
bring justice,
and set things right!
You are talking about Kermit, right?
Yes, Fozzie. Kermit.
(HORNS TOOT)
Gremlins. Man, those are some ugly fairies.
Look like someone stole their trunks
(LAUGHTER)
(SPEAKS GAELIC)
My grandfather has a broken down.
If one of you would help, I would be so thankful.
Sounds like you need some roadside assistance.
He was talking to me.
Really? Prove it.
Don't fight over me.
Mr. Tinker Fairy, per favore.
Get ready, Tink.
You're on any moment now.
I don't know about this.
What if I screw things up?
PABLO: Impossible.
Just apply the same level of dedication
you've been using to play the idiot
Tinker Fairy, and you'll be fine.
It's just that them
guys look purty tough and...
Wait, did you say "idiot"?
Is that how you see me?
PABLO: That's how everyone sees you.
Isn't that the idea?
I tell you, that's the genius of it.
No one realizes they're being fooled
because they're too busy laughing
at the fool.
Brilliant!
-Why aren't you in disguise? -I er...
-Come on! There's no time! Go! -Okay. Okay.
-Computer, disguise! -COMPUTER: Request acknowledged.
(HORN TOOTS)
It's the boss. He's coming.
Ivan.
Oh, er...
Ivan, why do you insult me so by making me wait here?
She's in.
BRENT: The tourists are now
making their way around the hairpin
and headed downhill toward
the hotel bridge.
Anyone see you?
No.
I can't believe we're doing this!
So, did you bring it?
Yes. (WHISTLES)
Watch the branch.
(ALL GRUNTING)
Careful. More to the right.
For the record, we shouldn't be doing
this. Whatever it is we're doing.
As ordered. One big block of ice.
Courtesy of our resident glacier fairy.
Hey.
So, what do you think?
It's perfect!
(WHISTLES)
Uh, are you sure he's not luring
you into a trap?
Oh! It's one of those...
Things we shouldn't be doing?
It's a snowmaker!
It makes snow!
Yep, this is your ticket to the
warm side of Dublin.
-(GASPS) -Wait a second.
This is crazy! You don't even know
if this thing works!
(LAUGHS) Oh, it works, all right.
Aye, we made it ourselves.
Of course you did. Just walk away.
How does it work?
Guys?
Pull.
Move this around here.
You might want to step aside for this part.
(ALL EXCLAIM)
SLED: Ha! They're serious.
(GASPING) Snow!
Wow.
You did it! You actually did it!
Ooh! It's cold.
So?
Hmm.
Go, go on.
Live it, man.
Whoa!
CLANK: Welcome, Miss Winkle.
Thank you.
All righty! Your tour begins with
Trinity College.
Next it's a quick stop in
St. Patrick's Cathedral.
and finally, the Dublin Theatre...
which, as you know,
makes all show life possible.
Aye, that's where you'll be meeting
her majestiness, the queen.
The queen?
They're going to see the queen!
She's very wise.
And if we tell her we're sisters,
she'll change Lord Milori's rule.
That is so exciting!
Say hi for me, or curtsy,
or whatever it is you do.
-Sure. -And bring me back an acorn. A big one!
-After you. -Thank you.
Bye!
(SQUEALS) I can't believe
I'm going to get an acorn!
Finally! That is so exciting!
(TWITTERS)
-(UPBEAT TUNE PLAYING ON PIANO) -Turn, turn, out, in, jump, step,
kick, kick, leap, kick, touch.
Got it? From the top.
A-five, six, seven, eight.
ALL: ♪ God, I hope I get it
♪ I hope I get it
-♪ How many people does he need? -♪ How many people does he need?
♪ God, I hope I get it
♪ I hope I get it
♪ How many boys, how many girls?
♪ How many boys, how many?
♪ Look at all the people
♪ At all the people
MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISONER:
♪ How many people does he need?
♪ How many boys, how many girls?
♪ How many people does he...
DANNY TREJO: ♪ I really need this job
♪ Please, God, I need this job
♪ I've got to get this job
Good!
Great!
That's it, guys, that's it!
That's good, guys! Come on!
And hit it hard!
♪ I really need this job
♪ Please, God, I need this job
♪ I've got to get this job ♪
Okay. All right. Yes.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, Nadya?
I think perhaps we should, perhaps,
keep it prisoners only.
Of course. I just love Broadway.
But you are right, Kermit, as ever.
Okay. Thank you.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Okay, fellas, listen up.
Here's who made the cut.
Sergei! King! That's you.
You are always right,
my beautiful amphibian prince.
I will never let you go.
There is riot in block D.
Can't you see I'm busy?
PERIWINKLE: Wow.
(LAUGHING)
(WHOOPING)
WOMAN: ♪ Just when we thought life couldn't get much better
♪ A wish we never knew we made came true
♪ Worlds that were apart have come together
-ROSETTA: There she is! -She's so wintery.
♪ We'll be friends no matter what the weather
This is so exciting!
Wait for the signal.
♪ Wait until you see the wondrous things that we can do here with you
That's it. Operation Periwinkle in effect.
♪ We're on your side
♪ We're on your side
♪ Let's take this ride
♪ Let's take this ride
(GASPING)
♪ And together we're facing the world
♪ Doing things nobody's done before
♪ And the great divide
♪ Doesn't seem so wide ♪
(LAUGHING)
Butterflies!
FAIRIES: Surprise!
Oh! Your friends did all this?
They wanted to surprise you.
Everyone, this is Periwinkle, my sister.
IRIDESSA: This is so exciting.
-Oh, wow! -Can you believe it?
Hello. It is nice to meet you.
I am Rosetta. This is...
She's a Winter Fairy.
She's not from the moon.
Oh, right. I know, I know.
I'm just so excited!
Victor!
Hey, Victor!
There you are!
Come in!
Victor Hugo, I'm J. Curby Gremlin.
From Detroit.
It's good to see you.
Is the big boss here yet?
No, not yet.
He's supposed to be here any minute.
(KNOCKING)
(KNOCKING)
Here we go.
Guten Tag.
It's just the professor.
Zündapp! When is he coming?
He's already here.
(DISGUISED VOICE)
Welcome, everyone.
I wish I could be with you
on this very special day,
but my clutch assembly broke.
-You know how it is. -Forget about it.
We know how you feel.
Descramble that voice.
I'm trying.
Oh, it's too sophisticated.
It's great to meet all of you.
This is so remarkable!
You two are sisters!
Yeah. A little fairy-to-fairy advice.
Tink can be tricky
to get along with at times.
Yeah. Look who's talking.
We can't believe you're over here!
So... Are you cold enough?
Yeah. It's perfect.
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
ALL: Aw!
We are here to celebrate.
Today, all your hard work pays off.
The world turned their backs
on fairies like us.
They stopped manufacturing us,
stopped making our parts.
The only thing they haven't
stopped doing is laughing at us.
They've called us terrible names:
jalopy, rust bucket, heap,
clunker, junker, beater, wreck, rattletrap,
lemon.
But their insults just give us strength.
Because today, my friends, that all ends!
LEWIS: There's smoke
on the hotel bridge!
Oh, no!
It's Carla Veloso, the Brazilian tour fairy!
What just happened?
I'm working out it.
(CHEERING)
They laughed at us, but now it's
our turn to laugh back.
DAVID: Another crash!
It's number 9, Nigel Gearsley.
Embrace your inner lemon.
Let it fly you.
Oh, I nearly forgot.
This is for you. It's called a periwinkle.
Also.
Thank you.
I'll keep it forever.
(ALL GASPING)
Look at that!
I'm detecting an extremely
strong electromagnetic pulse.
Pablo, it's the camera.
Where?
On the tower!
LEMON KINGPIN: This was meant to be
alternative pixie dust's greatest moment.
But after today, everyone will
fly back to gasoline.
And we, the owners of the world's
largest untapped pixie dust reserve
will become the most powerful
fairies in the world!
Get out of the way!
(SPEAKS GAELIC)
(SHOUTING IN GAELIC)
They will come to us, and they will have
no choice, because they will need us.
It's frost.
She and her friends practice in
the Frost Forest. You should see it!
Oh, you should see Tink on ice skates.
(CHUCKLES) She's a natural.
It's only because you had that lost thing.
-Uh, she collects lost things, too? -BOTH: Yeah!
SILVERMIST: You guys are so alike.
Huh? Whoa!
We figured you might stop by!
I know.
Even our wings are identical.
That's why they sparkled.
-Let's show them. -I don't feel so...
Oh! Periwinkle!
FAWN: Is she all right?
I think she's getting too hot.
My wings... I can't feel them.
(GASPING)
I think they're too warm.
Oh, the snowmaker!
It's running out of ice!
We have to get her back to the border!
Tink, what about the queen?
There's no time.
Clank, grab some ice.
We'll wrap her wings.
Be careful. Gentle. Easy.
Okay. Let's go. Hurry!
LEMON KINGPIN:
And they will finally respect us!
So hold your wings high!
After today, you will never again
be ashamed of who you are!
No!
Long live lemons!
BRENT: Number 7 is loose!
Shu Todoroki!
Pablo?
CLANK: All together. All together.
ROSETTA: All together.
SILVERMIST: Hurry!
We can do this!
(ALL STRAINING)
Hurry!
Go, go, go!
Hold on. We're almost there.
BOBBLE: Hurry! It's nearly out of ice!
TINKER BELL: Not much further.
Don't worry. We're almost there.
We're going to make it.
We're going to make it!
Let me help you.
(PANTING)
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Please, can you help her?
Tink.
BRENT: Bumper to bumper
as they approach the finish line!
Terence's the winner!
Fionnoula's second!
They have no idea what
happened behind them.
This is impossible!
That's what I'm talking about! Ka-chow!
(SIRENS BLARE)
What happened?
-Where are all the other fairies? -What is going on?
Oh, no!
Sir Axlerod, is the final tour in London
still going to take place?
I suppose that...
(SIGHS) The show must go on,
as they say.
I can't believe this is really happening!
Quiet!
Will you require all the tourists
to still run on Incanta?
I cannot, in good conscience, continue
to risk the lives of any more tourists.
The final tour will not be run on Incanta.
There you have it, a clearly
devastated Sir Miles Axlerod
announcing that he will not require
the fairies to use Incanta for the
final tour.
A toast!
To the death of Incanta
and alternative pixie dust forever!
Tinker Bell, abort the mission.
They've got Pablo. Get out of there.
Get out of there right now.
How is your grandfather?
Gently. Lift your wings.
Let the cold surround them.
You're okay. Your wings are okay.
Yeah. Yeah.
This is why we do not cross the border.
No, it could've worked!
We just needed a bigger piece of ice!
And when that was gone?
Your wings could have broken.
But they didn't. I'm fine. Thanks to them.
The rule is there to protect you. I'm sorry.
You two may never see each other again.
Oh, please don't do this.
We belong together.
We're sisters.
We were born of the same laugh.
All the more reason you should
want to keep each other safe.
Return home.
(SNIFFLES)
Come on, Tink. Let's go home.
No!
Lord Milori,
your rule will not keep us apart.
QUEEN CLARION: Tinker Bell.
This is not Lord Milori's rule. It's mine.
Queen Clarion?
I'm sorry.
(SIGHS)
You should get deeper into the cold.
Back to the north side of the mountain.
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(URGES OWL)
(CHANTING) Long live lemons!
Isn't this a great party, Ivan, huh?
Oh, yeah, it's unbelievable.
You are not leaving, are you?
Uh...of course I ain't leaving.
-TERENCE: I'm just in shock... -Terence?
Crashes are a part of touring, I know,
but something like that
should never happen.
LEWIS: You can choose the dust
for your final tour. What it'll be?
-Incanta. -(ASTONISHED GASPS)
LEWIS: After today?
My boss Fairy Gary says it's safe.
That's good enough for me.
I didn't stand by a friend of mine recently.
I'm not gonna make the
same mistake twice.
So a surprising revelation from Terence.
He will use Incanta for the final
tour, despite what occurred today.
-..till dust keeper is dead. -Of course.
Incanta must be finished for good.
The dust keeper cannot win the last tour.
Terence the dust keeper must be killed!
No!
(HORN PLAYS LA CUCARACHA)
It's the American spy!
Dad-gum!
COMPUTER: Gatling gun.
Request acknowledged.
ZÜNDAPP: Down! Everybody, down!
-Shoot! I didn't mean... -COMPUTER: Request acknowledged.
Wait! Wait!
I didn't mean that kind of shoot!
COMPUTER: Correction acknowledged.
Deploying chute.
Whoa!
Terence!
Whoa! What's this?
Whoa!
Terence! Terence!
Waagh!
Let me through! Let me through!
Let me in! I got to get
through to warn Terence!
You cannot come through here! Back up.
We have a lunatic at gate 9.
I was making a snowmaker so my
sister can visit the city
and meet the queen
so she can an end to Lord Milori's
rule and the flood what I'm saying!
-Lunatic at gate 9. -Terence! Terence!
-You are the champion! -This way, laddie.
-TINKER BELL: Terence! -Tink?
-TINKER BELL: Terence. -Give us a pose!
-Terence! -Stop moving. Stop!
Where you going?
Stop!
-Terence! -That really sounded like...
Tinker Bell!
-Tink? -Laddie?
TINKER BELL: Terence!
They're gonna kill you!
TERENCE: Tinker Bell!
Excuse me.
No, where are you going?
Excuse me. Tink!
-Terence! -Excuse me.
Tink! Tink!
Tink, I'm so glad to see you.
Terence the dust keeper!
I am a huge fan.
I'm sorry, I thought I heard...
That was me. I said, "You killed
out there today. You're the best."
-What? I mean, thanks. -Right this way, laddie.
I really thought I heard my friend.
In England, you'll be finished!
At the finish line.
-Wait, what? -The press is waiting.
Come with me, please.
(MUFFLED CRIES)
Let me go!
You actually care about that tour fairy.
A pity you didn't warn him in time.
(GASPS)
TINKER BELL: "Idiot"?
Is that how you see me?
PABLO: That's how everyone sees you.
I tell you, that's the genius of it.
No one realizes they're being fooled
because they're too busy laughing
at the fool.
At the fool... (ECHOES)
Excuse me!
(IN NORWEGIAN)
Yeah!
You done good. You got all the leaves.
-Check out that Tinker Fairy. -I wonder who that guy's with.
Will you guys excuse me
just for one little second?
Now that's scoop of ice cream!
Aargh!
(LAUGHTER)
Somebody get me water! Oh, sweet relief.
Tinker Bell!
(LAUGHTER)
But I never leak oil. Never.
Get a hold of yourself.
You're making a scene!
Wait a minute.
I didn't screw you up, did I?
-I lost the race because of you! -Maybe if I talked to somebody...
I don't need you help!
I don't want you help.
Your help... (ECHOES)
Bang the gong. Get it on!
TERENCE:
Listen, this isn't Pixie Hollow.
This is exactly why I don't bring
you along to these things!
(BELL CHIMES)
Guys! Pablo! Where are we?
We're in London, Tink, inside Big Ben.
Whoa!
Whoa!
Oh, this... This is all my fault.
Don't be a fool, Tink.
But I am, remember? You said so.
When did I... Oh.
Tinker Bell, I was complimenting you
on what a good spy you are.
I'm not a spy! (ECHOES)
I've been trying to tell you
that the whole time.
I really am just a Tinker Fairy.
Pablo, she's not joking.
-I know. -You were right, Pablo.
I'm a fool.
And what's happened to Terence
is 'cause I'm such a big one.
This is all my fault.
-Good. You're up. -And just in time.
Professor Z wanted you to
have a front-row seat,
for the death of
Terence the dust keeper.
-He's still alive? -Not for much longer.
Whoa!
Huh?
DEWEY: Speaking of sparkling,
we can conclude...
that it spreads in a spiral and
circles the center.
Oh!
(WIND WHISTLES)
Hello?
Hello?
(SIGHS)
LORD MILORI: Peri?
Queen Clarion... Why?
Tinker Bell...
Long ago,
when Pixie Hollow was very young...
two fairies met and fell in love.
One of them was a Winter Fairy...
...and the other was from
the warm seasons.
The two fairies were enchanted
with each other...
and every sunset, they met at the border...
...where Spring touches Winter.
But as their love grew stronger,
they wished to be together...
...and share each other's worlds.
So they disregarded the danger
and crossed.
One of them broke a wing.
(GASPS)
For which there is no cure.
From that day forward,
Queen Clarion decreed
that fairies must never again
cross the border.
And I agreed that our two worlds
should forever remain apart.
And the two fairies?
What happened to them?
They had to say goodbye.
♪ This flowing water Reflects the sun in your eyes
♪ I wish you could see
♪ The part of me that I must hide inside
♪ They think I can control it But as time goes by
♪ This power's getting stronger
♪ Who am I?
♪ Will I be defined by this curse I hold inside
♪ Could I be deprived of a life that I deserve
♪ Just because life thru me a curve
♪ I'm just a girl, with a touch of ice
♪ For you, it's easy To be who you really are
♪ I wish you could give The true kiss that wakes me up inside
♪ But nothing can control this And as years go by
♪ It will only get stronger
♪ Who am I?
♪ Will I be defined by this curse I hold inside
♪ Could I be deprived of a life that I deserve
♪ Just because life thru me a curve
♪ I'm so much more, than just a touch of ice
♪ What would I give You hold your hand in mine
♪ And really live
♪ Who am I?
♪ Could I be deprived of a life that I deserve
♪ Just because life thru me a curve
♪ I'm warm inside, I'm warm inside
♪ With not much to hide, well...
♪ Just a touch of ice ♪
This is better.
Oh... What's wrong? You only ever
knit when you're stressed.
CONSTANTINE: The bear,
the little guy and their dog,
they are onto us.
They got away.
How are we gonna spin this?
-Is that a scarf? -Mmm.
-Is it a present for someone? -Yes.
Who?
Not important.
CONSTANTINE: Comrades,
I'm afraid I have bad news.
Walter and Fonzie have quit the Muppets.
-(ALL GASP) -LEW ZEALAND: Wait.
You can quit the Muppets?
Wait a second. Walter quit the Muppets?
We just did a whole movie
where he joined the Muppets.
And I like totally cried
when he joined the Muppets.
Yeah, we sure spent a lot of time on it.
RIZZO: Ha! I'll say.
Maybe even at the expense of other
long-standing, beloved Muppets.
Come on, Robin.
(SIGHS)
-Coming. -Can I be honest?
The show will be better without them.
-Couldn't get any worse. -(BOTH LAUGHING)
Well, as the old saying goes...
The show must continue,
-in a timely fashion. -GONZO: Wait.
Fozzie and Walter are part of our family.
We can't let them go without a fight.
Right, Kermit?
I know this is hard, Gonzo.
Walter and Fonzie were my best friends.
But Dominic is right.
We're better off without them.
Exactly.
-Well, that's true. -No, it ain't.
No, no, it ain't. It's not.
MISS PIGGY: Kermit...
Are you sure you're okay?
Yes, I'm fine, pig.
The important thing is you
and I are together.
I could never lose you.
You complete me.
Oh, Kermie.
DOMINIC: Guys, come on!
This is gonna be fantastic.
We should be celebrating!
Yes. Remember,
I can give you what you want.
-Yeah? -Yeah, right.
-I'll keep that in mind. -Say, has anyone seen Animal?
(SHIVERING)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
(PANTING)
Does anybody else feel like
we're traveling in circles?
(GASPS)
There it is!
Finally!
(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC)
Maybe it's just me.
But I'm doing whatever we want
to do not as much
as we thought it would be?
-BEAKER: Oh! -(MUPPETS AGREEING)
You know when you're a kid
and you want a cool dad
and then you hang out with
your friend's cool dad
It's just so weird and then you
miss your normal dad
who made all the rules?
Does anyone else feel like...
It's so true that Walter was right....
And maybe Kermit's acting
different on this tour?
JANICE: Yeah.
Something is weird and, like,
not in a good weird way.
Like, in a bad weird way.
That's ridiculous!
Kermit could not be more himself!
He has never been more caring
or devoted to me than he has
been over the past few weeks!
Yeah, that's what we're saying.
Uncle Kermit hasn't been acting himself.
That's kind of our point.
(APPLAUDING)
Welcome, folks, to Kermit
and His Friends, The Muppets.
Tonight's guest, Saoirse Ronan,
will come out shortly,
but first a few moments with me.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
ALL: ♪ Take me by the tongue and I'll know you
♪ Kiss me on the cheek And I'll show you
♪ All the moves like Jagger
♪ I've got the moves like Jagger I've got the...
I had to sing Danny Boy.
The audience demanded it!
Do you have evidence to frame the bear?
Excellent.
Our plan is coming together,
Number Two.
-Where are the guards? -They're actually leprechauns.
One thing I don't understand.
Even once we have
the key and the locket,
how do we actually break in
to the Tower of London.
-Leave that to me, Number Two. -Is there a secret phase three?
I'm not telling.
Hmm, seems like a big box
for just one little locket.
(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(LAUGHING)
Stay here.
-I'm going to check on the vault. -Oui.
-(JACKHAMMERING) -Whoa! Whoa!
Stop it!
BOTH: Whoa!
DOMINIC: Colonel Blood's locket.
Of course. Now grab it.
SAM THE EAGLE: Shawn.
Someone's coming. Abort!
I think I just saw something.
It's headed back towards the theater!
♪ Near, far
♪ Wherever you are...
-That was close. -Too close.
We need to move to final
phase three. "Wedding."
♪ You're here
Hey, Kermit, you can't go out there.
It's Piggy's Celine Dion number.
Whoa!
♪ And I know that my heart will...
Did you see anything?
Not a thing. It is my lunch hour.
It lasts six hours.
Excuse me.
Ladies and gentlemen!
I have an announcement!
-What? -(ALL MURMURING)
MISS PIGGY: Kermit,
I'm in the middle of a song here!
Miss Piggy.
I have very important question for you.
Yeah? What are you doing?
-(SNORING) -(ALL MURMURING)
Do you wish to become Mrs. Piggy?
-(GASPS) -Or rather, Mrs. The Frog?
Aw.
Oh, Kermie, I thought you'd never ask.
I really thought you'd never ask!
So?
What do you say?
(WHISPERING) It's beautiful.
(SCREAMS) Yes! Yes! Of course! Yes!
I can't believe this! After all this time,
it was finally just so easy!
Hmm.
That's right, folks,
it's the Muppet wedding
the world has been waiting for.
We're putting our tour on hold...
ALL: What?
...to be married in two days' time
at the world's most romantic location,
-the Tower of London. -(MISS PIGGY GASPS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
Oh, my gosh.
Kermit's really doing it, isn't he?
(CLUCKING)
I told you, when I'm a millionaire.
Again.
Yes, pictures now.
(SIGHS) This ring. It's so... So black.
It's a little ominous, to tell the truth.
It's a very rare black diamond.
That ring is priceless. Like you, my dear.
Now you have everything
you've ever wanted.
And so do I.
Oh, Kermie, you've
never said that to me be...
...fore.
What's gotten into you?
Love, my dear.
Love.
-(CLAMORING) -(APPLAUSE)
So... Secret phase three,
proposing to the pig.
Keep up, Number Two.
In Tower of London,
you cannot put on stupid variety show,
but you can get married.
You see, Blood's
passageways are located
directly below Saint John's Chapel.
I realized months ago that our only
chance of pulling this off
was a Muppet wedding.
Here's a Muppet newsflash.
The years of waiting are over.
The biggest "Will they,
won't they?" of all times
has been answered with a firm,
"They will."
Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy
are to be married!
That's right, folks.
They're finally tying the knot.
-(BULL LOWING) -(GRUNTS)
(MOOS)
(SOBBING)
Well, at least they
didn't get the pot of gold.
No, they did not.
I have never been to a
more ridiculous crime scene.
(JEAN PIERRE GASPS)
The comedian bear, he was here.
SAM THE EAGLE: The Lemur.
He, too, was here.
Could the comedian bear and the
Lemur be one and the same?
The comedian bear is the Lemur.
That is brilliant.
I knew he is a genius.
But why would he steal a
bunch of old bones?
The bones apparently belonged
to one Colonel Thomas Blood.
He was the only man to ever nearly
steal the Crown Jewels of England.
The Crown Jewels.
Wait! Where did the frog
say he was getting married?
The Tower of London.
BOTH: The comedian bear
is planning on stealing...
-The Tower of London! -The Crown Jewels!
The Crown Jewels.
(SIGHS)
Sir, where would you like the flowers?
Who cares?
Hey, chief.
Hi-lo.
We've all been thinking, and...
Well, we were wondering,
after you and Miss Piggy get married,
what's gonna happen to the tour?
And to us?
Well, now you guys have all
the freedom you want.
You don't need me.
I'm done with Muppets.
-Huh? -(ALL GASP)
But, hey, it's been a good run, right?
Hmm?
Good luck.
FLOYD: Kermit!
Did he just say what I thought he said?
What are we gonna do without Kermit?
The only thing we can do.
Pack up, go to the wedding,
and head back home.
Looks like it's the end of the road.
Oh, Foo Foo, it's always been a fight.
But this is so easy,
it just doesn't feel right.
(WHIMPERING)
♪ This is my dream come true
♪ The day has come for us to say "I do"
♪ There's nowhere else I'd rather be
♪ Nothing in the world means more to me than you
♪ I've waited so patiently
♪ I knew you were the only frog for me
♪ Always knew this day would come
♪ It's written in the stars It's destiny
♪ So how can something so right
♪ Feel so wrong tonight?
♪ After all we've been through
♪ Why do I feel I don't know you?
♪ We'll settle down and start a family
♪ Have a mini you and a mini me
♪ A little pink frog and a little green piggy
♪ They'll learn to say hello and say goodbye
♪ We'll grow grey and old
♪ And live the quiet life
♪ Just you and I
♪ Hand in hand we'll stay together
Hey. Look at that sky.
♪ Forever and ever
Oh!
♪ So how can something so right
♪ Feel so wrong tonight?
♪ After all we've been through
♪ Why do I feel I don't know you?
♪ How can something so right feel so wrong inside?
♪ How can something so good leave me feeling so bad?
♪ How can my dreams coming true
♪ Leave me lonely and blue?
♪ How come the happiest day of my life is so sad?
♪ How can I feel the high when I feel so low?
♪ After all we've been through after coming so far
♪ Is this my destiny?
♪ Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi
♪ Where is the love that's written
♪ In the stars?
♪ How can something so right
(VOCALIZING)
♪ Feel so wrong tonight?
♪ Hey-hey-hey
♪ After all we've been through
♪ Why do I feel I don't
♪ Know you? ♪
(VOCALIZING)
Oh, Kermie.
(GASPS)
Look, Sven, the sky is awake.
(SHIVERING)
-Are you cold? -A little.
(CLEARS THROAT) Uh...
Wait. Come here.
Huh?
Ooh. (SIGHS)
So, uh, about my friends. Well...
(CHUCKLES)
I say "friends"...
They're more like family.
Anyway, when I was a kid,
it was just me and Sven.
Until they, you know, kinda took us in.
-They did? -Yeah.
I don't want to scare you.
They can be a little
inappropriate and loud.
(CHUCKLES) Very loud.
They are also stubborn at times,
and a little overbearing.
And heavy. Really, really, heavy.
(STAMMERS) But you'll get it.
They mean well.
Kristoff, they sound wonderful.
Okay, then.
-(OLAF GRUNTS) -Meet my family.
Hey, guys.
They're rocks.
KRISTOFF:
You are a sight for sore eyes.
(WHISPERS) He's crazy.
Rocko's looking sharp, as usual.
Clay, whoa... I don't even recognize you.
You lost so much weight.
(WHISPERS)
I'll distract him while you run.
(IN LOUD VOICE) Hi, Sven's family!
It's nice to meet you.
(WHISPERS) Because I love you,
Anna, I insist you run.
(IN LOUD VOICE) I understand
you're love experts. Ooh!
(WHISPERS) Why aren't you running?
Uh...
Okay. Well, I'm gonna go.
-OLAF: Go. -No, no, no. Anna, wait.
(GASPS)
Kristoff! (GASPING)
KRISTOFF: Whoa! (CHUCKLING)
Hey!
Kristoff's home!
(ALL CLAMORING EXCITEDLY)
-TROLL 1: Kristoff's here! -Kristoff's home!
-Wait, "Kristoff"? -Uh-huh.
Ah, let me look at you.
Take off your clothes, I wash them.
No! No, I'm going to keep my clothes on.
Look, it's great to see you all,
but where's Grandpabbie?
TROLL KID: He's napping.
But look, I grew a mushroom.
-I... -I earned my fire crystal.
I passed a kidney stone.
Kristoff, pick me up.
(GRUNTS) You're getting big.
Good for you.
Trolls. They're trolls!
He's brought a girl!
ALL: (CHEERING) A girl!
-Whoa! -TROLL 2: Is that a real girl?
TROLL 3: She's like a little cupcake.
What's going on?
I've learned to just roll with it.
Let me see. Bright eyes, working nose,
-strong teeth! -(CHUCKLES)
Yes, yes. She'll do nicely for our Kristoff.
Wait, wait, wait. Oh, um, no.
-No. (CHUCKLES) -You've got the wrong idea.
No. That's not why I brought her here.
Right. We're not... I'm not...
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
What's the issue, dear?
Why are you holding back
from such a man?
♪ Is it the clumpy way he walks?
-What? -♪ Or the grumpy way he talks?
-Oh, no. -♪ Or the pear-shaped, square-shaped
♪ Weirdness of his feet?
KRISTOFF: Hey!
♪ And though we know he washes well
♪ He always ends up sort of smelly
♪ But you'll never meet a fella
BOTH: ♪ Who's as sensitive and sweet
-(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) -That's nice, but...
BOTH: ♪ So, he's a bit of a fixer-upper
-Whoa, whoa, whoa... -♪ So, he's got a few flaws
TROLL 1: ♪ Like his peculiar brain, dear
TROLL 2: ♪ His thing with the reindeer
BOTH: ♪ That's a little outside of nature's laws
This is not about me!
♪ So, he's a bit of a fixer-upper
♪ But this we're certain of
♪ You can fix this fixer-upper up
-♪ With a little bit of love -Um...
Can we please just stop talking about this?
We've got a real, actual problem, here.
I'll say. So, tell me, dear...
♪ Is it the way that he runs scared?
♪ Or that he's socially impaired?
♪ Or that he only likes To tinkle in the woods?
I did not need to know that.
♪ Are you holding back your fondness
♪ Due to his unmanly blondness?
(CHUCKLES)
♪ Or the way he covers up That he's the honest goods?
♪ He's just a bit of a fixer-upper
♪ He's got a couple of bugs
-No, I don't! -♪ His isolation is confirmation
-♪ Of his desperation for healing hugs -Aw.
♪ So, he's a bit of a fixer-upper
♪ But we know what to do
♪ The way to fix up this fixer-upper
♪ Is to fix him up with you
BOTH: Whoa!
Stop it, stop it, stop it! Enough!
She is engaged to someone else, okay?
♪ So, she's a bit of a fixer-upper
♪ That's a minor thing
♪ Her quote "engagement" Is a flex arrangement
♪ And by the way, I don't see no ring
♪ So, she's a bit of a fixer-upper
-Hey! Whoa, watch it! -♪ Her brain's a bit betwixt
♪ Get the fiancé out of the way
♪ And the whole thing will be fixed
(GROANS)
(ALL VOCALIZING)
♪ We're not saying you can change him
♪ 'Cause people don't really change
♪ We're only saying that love's a force
♪ That's powerful and strange
♪ People make bad choices
♪ If they're mad or scared or stressed
♪ But throw a little love their way
♪ Throw a little love their way
♪ And you'll bring out their best
♪ True love brings out the best
♪ Everyone's a bit of a fixer-upper
♪ That's what it's all about
-♪ Father! -♪ Sister!
-♪ Brother! -♪ We need each other to raise us up
♪ And round us out
♪ Everyone's a bit of a fixer-upper
♪ But when push comes to shove
♪ The only fixer-upper fixer
♪ That can fix a fixer-upper is...
♪ True, true
♪ True
♪ Love!
♪ Love, love, love
♪ Love True love
♪ True
Do you, Anna, take Kristoff
to be your trollfully wedded...
-Wait, what? -You're getting married.
-♪ Love! ♪ -(HYPERVENTILATING)
Anna?
She's as cold as ice.
There is strange magic here.
-Grandpabbie. -Come, come. Bring her here to me.
Anna, your life is in danger.
There is ice in your heart
put there by your sister.
If not removed,
to solid ice will it freeze, forever.
What? No.
But you can remove it, right?
I cannot.
I'm sorry, Kristoff.
If it was her head, that would be easy.
But only an act of true love
can thaw a frozen heart.
An act of true love?
A true love's kiss, perhaps?
(GASPING)
TROLL 1: Something's wrong. TROLL 2: Are you all right?
Anna, we've got to get you back to Hans.
Hans.
Pull us out, Sven.
(ALL GRUNTING)
Olaf, come on!
-I'm coming! -(TROLL KIDS GIGGLING)
Let's go kiss Hans!
Who is this Hans?
-Hey, the show's starting. -Hmm? Ah, yeah!
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Lady and gentlemen,
good evening and welcome
to the Gulag Annual Revue Show!
Wow!
What do you call a clairvoyant dwarf
that escaped from the Gulag?
A small medium at large.
-(PRISONERS LAUGH) -Oh! (LAUGHS)
Wocka, wocka, wocka.
WALTER: Let's go get him.
Escapo, you're up after the ballet.
Okay... Mmm-hmm.
(GASPS)
Kermit! Kermit! Psst!
-ANIMAL: Kermit.  -(GASPS)
Fozzie. Walter. Animal.
We're here to rescue you.
Yes! And we've got to go right now!
Yeah!
(SOBBING)
(MELANCHOLY CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey!
I can't believe you're here.
It's so good to see you guys!
Kermit, listen.
An evil frog named Constantine,
has taken over the Muppets
and replaced you!
What? Constantine replaced me?
WALTER: Yeah.
And he was working
together with Dominic.
They're planning something terrible,
but we don't know what.
Kermit's back. Let's go.
But...
How could you not have noticed
that he'd replaced me, Fozzie?
He looked like you
and he talked like you.
Okay, he didn't talk that much
like you, come to think of it.
But he said he had a cold.
Animal know.
-"Animal know"? -Mmm-hmm.
You mean, all this time,
I've been locked in a Russian gulag,
no one, not one single person
from the Muppets except Animal
noticed I'd been replaced by
an evil criminal mastermind?
It sounds worse than it was.
No. It's as bad as it sounds.
(SIGHS)
I thought you guys
had forgotten about me.
That you didn't need me anymore.
We'd never forget about you.
We need you more than ever, Kermit.
Good frog.
-(HORN HONKS) -Late extra! Late extra! Read all about it!
Kermit and Miss Piggy
to be married in London!
(GASPS)
WALTER: What? ANIMAL: Uh-oh.
Piggy?
Piggy's gonna marry the world's
most dangerous frog tomorrow?
Piggy and the gang are in danger!
To London!
ALL: No. Kermit!
(GUNSHOTS)
Oh, yeah, I forgot. I'm in a gulag.
Sorry about that, Ivan!
It's okay!
No problem, Kermit. It's easy mistake.
Right. Thanks for not shooting me!
Sure. No problem...
Hey, nothing personal.
We need to escape, guys. Tonight!
But how?
Well, the weakest point of the Gulag
is over there by the fourth wall.
Okay. We're gonna have
to break the fourth wall.
Hmm.
-I don't think is gonna work, guys. -I'm afraid you're right.
-Kermit. -(ALL EXCLAIM)
Do you know where these
prop pickaxes and shovels
are supposed to go in
this big mining number?
-KERMIT: Uh... -Wait!
(LIGHTNING CRASHES)
-I've got it! -Bingo.
KERMIT: And now, folks,
the Great Escapo!
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTS)
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
Oh, no, you don't.
(GRUNTS)
-(GROANING) -Nice try, Escapo.
I sure hope this works, Walter.
I have tried a lot of ways to out of here.
This is gonna work, Kermit.
I'll see you on the outside.
Okay!
Gosh, I hope this works.
Oh, thank you, thank you,
everybody. And now,
we're going underground.
Working in the coal mine!
♪ Working in a coal mine
♪ Going down, down, down
♪ Working in a coal mine Whoop! About to slip down
♪ Five o'clock in morning
♪ I'm already up and gone
♪ Lord, I'm so tired
♪ How long can this go on? That I'm a...
♪ Working in a coal mine
♪ Going down, down, down
♪ Working in a coal mine Whoop! About to slip down
♪ Oh, Lord, I'm so tired
♪ Working in a coal mine Going down, down, down
♪ Working in a coal mine
♪ Whoop! About to slip down
-♪ Working -♪ In a coal mine
-♪ Going -♪ Down, down, down
-♪ And working -♪ In a coal mine
-♪ Whoops! -♪ About to slip down
♪ In a coal mine ♪
Whoo!
(CHEERING)
-Bravo! Bravo! -Bravo!
Oh, no.
Kermie!
WALTER: I can't believe that worked!
KERMIT: We did it! Great work, guys!
Now put the pedal to the metal.
We have a wedding to crash!
ALL: Yeah!
(SOLDIERS TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
We are here to find Princess Anna.
Be on guard,
but no harm is to come to the queen.
Do you understand?
-SOLDIER 1: Yes, Your Grace. -(SOLDIERS AGREEING)
-(GROWLS) -(GASPS)
(ALL CLAMORING)
(ROARS)
The queen.
(GRUNTS)
DUKE'S THUG 2: Go, go! Come on!
(GASPING)
DUKE'S THUG 1: There!
DUKE'S THUG 2: Up there!
Come in!
DUKE'S THUG 2: We got her.
No. Please.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
DUKE'S THUG 2: Go around. Toss it.
Stay away!
DUKE'S THUG 1: Look out!
DUKE'S THUG 2: Fire! Fire!
Get her!
(MARSHMALLOW GROWLS)
Ah!
(YELLS)
Come in!
(YELLS)
(ROARING)
-(GRUNTING) -(SOLDIERS CLAMORING)
SOLDIER: Grab his arm.
(ALL GRUNTING)
(GASPING)
DUKE'S THUG 2: Aim...
(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTS)
(GASPING)
(STRAINING)
(GRUNTING)
(GASPS)
SOLDIER 1: This way, this way!
SOLDIER 2: Whoa!
Queen Elsa!
Don't be the monster they fear you are.
(PANTING)
-(ICE TINKLING) -(GASPS)
(YELLING)
(HIGH-PITCHED WHINING)
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(CHAINS RATTLING)
Oh, no. What have... What have I done?
-(DOOR UNLOCKING) -(GASPS)
Why did you bring me here?
I couldn't just let them kill you.
But I'm a danger to Arendelle.
Get Anna.
Anna has not returned.
If you would just stop the winter.
Bring back summer, please.
Don't you see?
I can't.
(SIGHS)
You have to tell them to let me go.
I will do what I can.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(WHIMPERING)
(KRISTOFF PANTING)
(TINKER BELL EXHALES SHARPLY)
Just hang in there.
Come on, buddy, faster!
(VOCALIZING)
Oh, boy!
Whoa! I'll meet you guys at the Titanic!
KRISTOFF: Stay out of sight, Olaf.
OLAF: I will!
-Hello! -(WOMAN SCREAMS) It's alive!
It's Princess Anna!
(KRISTOFF PANTING)
(TINKER BELL SHIVERING)
(GROANS)
(SHIVERING) Are you gonna be okay?
Don't worry about me.
-(DOOR OPENS) -GERDA: Anna!
-You had us worried sick. -My Lady.
Get her warm.
And find Prince Hans, immediately.
We will. Thank you.
Make sure she's safe.
GERDA: Oh, you poor girl,
you're freezing.
Oh, let's get you inside now
and get you warm.
(WHIMPERS)
(SVEN WHINING)
I'm going back out
to look for Princess Anna.
You cannot risk going out there again.
If anything happens to her...
If anything happens to the princess,
you are all Arendelle has left.
-(SIGHS) -KAI: He's in here.
Prince Hans.
Anna.
You're so cold.
-Hans, you have to kiss me. -What?
-Now! Now! -Slow down.
We'll give you two some privacy.
What happened out there?
Elsa struck me with her powers.
You said she would never hurt you.
I was wrong.
-(GROANS) -Anna.
(SHIVERING)
She froze my heart,
and only an act of true love can save me.
A true love's kiss.
Oh, Anna.
If only there was
someone out there who loved you.
What?
You said you did.
As thirteenth in line in my own kingdom,
I didn't stand a chance.
I knew I would have to marry
into the throne somewhere.
What... What are you talking about?
As heir, Elsa was preferable, of course.
But no one was getting
anywhere with her.
-But you... -Hans!
You were so desperate for love,
you were willing
to marry me just like that.
I figured after we married,
I would have to stage
a little accident for Elsa.
Hans! (GASPS) No. Stop.
But then, she doomed herself,
and you were dumb enough
to go after her.
-Please. -(CHUCKLES)
All that's left now is to kill Elsa,
and bring back summer.
You're no match for Elsa.
No, you're no match for Elsa.
I, on the other hand,
am the hero who is going to save
Arendelle from destruction.
You won't get away with this.
Oh...
I already have.
(DOOR LOCKS)
(WHIMPERING)
Please, somebody, help.
(SHIVERING CONTINUES)
Please. Please.
(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
DUKE: It's getting colder by the minute.
If we don't do something soon,
we'll all freeze to death.
Prince Hans.
Princess Anna is...
Dead.
-What? -(SPEAKING FRENCH)
What happened to her?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
She was killed.
By Queen Elsa.
ALL: (GASP) No!
Her own sister.
At least we got to say our marriage vows
before she died in my arms.
There can be no doubt now.
Queen Elsa is a monster,
and we are all in grave danger.
Prince Hans.
Arendelle looks to you.
With a heavy heart,
I charge Queen Elsa
of Arendelle with treason.
And sentence her to death.
(SIGHS)
-(STRAINING) -GUARD 1: Hurry up!
GUARD 2: She's dangerous.
-Move quickly. -GUARD 3: Careful.
(STRAINING)
-It won't open! -GUARD 1: It's frozen shut.
GUARD 2: Put your back into it!
GUARD 4: Come on! Push!
(ALL GRUNT)
(GROWLS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
-Her head is so bright? -(COOING)
Will it shine at night?
QUEEN IDUN: (CHUCKLING) No, no.
Anna had golden hair. That's all.
(LAUGHING)
(ALL GIGGLING)
Anna!
We saw the snow.
Queen Clarion, something's wrong!
The temperature,
it seems to be plummeting!
The hibiscus are halfway to hibernation!
Now, now, dignitaries, let's not panic.
Absolutely right.
(SCREAMS) Snow!
BOBBLE: Heave!
CLANK: Ho!
-Heave! -Ho!
Put your muscle into it, Clanky!
I'm trying, Bobble!
What happened? How did this get here?
We don't know, Miss Bell,
but it's stuck real good!
Aye, and it's making that thing bigger
by the minute!
Guys, down here!
-Come on! -Got it!
TINKER BELL: Okay, push!
(GRUNTING)
All together. All together!
Upsy-daisy.
BOBBLE: We did it!
-(ALL CHEERING) -We did it!
It's over.
Uh, I don't think it is.
QUEEN CLARION: Oh, my goodness.
The seasons have
been thrown out of balance.
MINISTER OF SPRING:
But if the temperatures
continue to drop,
it will freeze all of Pixie Hollow.
-(LOUD CRACKLING) -(ALL GASPING)
The branch. Why isn't it stopping.
-Oh, no. -Queen Clarion, the Titanic.
We must hope
the ship survives the freeze.
Otherwise there
will be no more Pixie Dust.
Life in Pixie Hollow will change forever.
And no fairy will ever fly again.
Hurry. We must do everything we can.
Grab as many as you can, evacuate,
and head for the Titanic!
Hurry, guys! This way! Hop to it!
That's it!
(GRUNTING)
Snug as a bug.
-(SQUEAKING) -(GASPS) Oh, no!
(SQUEAKING)
Come on, that's it.
Just a little faster.
FAIRY MARY: That's it, fairies.
Lay the blankets along the deck,
as many as you can!
We must protect the Titanic!
-Miss Bell! -Tink! Do you need any help?
No! This is my last run!
I'll meet you at the ship!
Dess, check! Fionnoula, check!
Fawn, check! Sil, check!
So all of my friends are gone.
Everything's going to be fine.
It's still alive.
Peri.
Dewey, you've got to see this.
There must be something wrong
with the Titanic.
-Now don't worry... -(WIND HOWLING)
-(EXCLAIMS) -Whoa!
Careful.
I'm sure there's nothing to worry about.
Oh!
Oh, dear.
Okay, you might
want to worry just a little bit.
Tink?
Periwinkle!
(GRUNTING)
(YELLING)
(GRUNTS)
Tinker Bell! Are you okay?
Why would you fly here?
I had to.
Your jacket. Put on your jacket.
Pixie Hollow's in trouble.
There's a iceberg freeze moving in,
and the Titanic is in danger.
Oh, that explains it.
The Pixie Dust here,
it already stopped flowing.
I think there's something you can do.
Your frost, it kept the flower alive.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Frost does that.
It's like a little blanket.
It tucks the warm air inside
and keeps out the cold.
We could frost the Titanic
before the iceberg hits it.
Uh, one question. What about our wings?
If it's a freeze, it will
be cold enough to cross.
Then what are we waiting for?
We're almost to the border!
(GASPING)
Bloomsbury.
TINKER BELL: The freeze.
It's moving so fast.
Come on! We have to get to the Titanic!
Can... Can we slow down a little?
-I'm dying here. -(VULTURE SCREECHING)
It was just a figure of speech!
They just sit there, watching us.
I wish I knew what they were thinking.
♪ Food, glorious food
♪ We're anxious to try it
♪ Three banquets a day
♪ Our favorite diet
♪ Just picture a fairy steak Fried, roasted or stewed
ALL: ♪ Oh, food, wonderful food
♪ Marvelous food
♪ Glorious food
-♪ Food, glorious food -(SCREAMS)
-♪ Poached possum served flambe -(GAGGING)
♪ Broth made from a frog
ALL: ♪ Or a princess-tooth souffle
♪ Why should we be fated to
♪ Do noting but brood
VULTURES: ♪ On food, magical food
♪ Wonderful food, marvelous food?
(ALL SCREAMING)
♪ Food, glorious food
♪ Flesh picked off the dead ones
♪ Rank, rotten, or chewed
♪ Soon, we'll be the fed ones!
♪ Just thinking of putrid meat
♪ Puts us in a mood for
♪ Food, glorious food
-♪ Marvelous food -(SCREAMS)
♪ Fabulous food, beautiful food
♪ Magical food,
-ALL: ♪ Glorious food! ♪ -(GASPING)
There. Now you know
what they were thinking
(ALL GROAN)
♪ Food, glorious food
-ALL: Tinker Bell! -What? It's catchy.
We made it.
Yeah, we showed those scary vultures!
-Whoo-hoo! -(LAUGHING)
There it is.
-(BOTH LAUGHING) -EDDIE: Hey! (WHOOPING)
Oh!
(GLACIER CRACKING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
We raced the water and lost.
There's no escape!
You're going to be boiled alive!
It will be an instant of pain
that feels like an...
(SCREAMS)
(ALL SCREAM)
Now, that's a visual aid!
Hold on. Did the scary vulture say
anything about exploding geysers?
Crash, I'm too young to die!
Actually, we have really short life spans,
so you're kinda due.
Oh, it's just a little hot water and steam.
How bad could it be?
(CLUCKING)
I just did something involuntary,
and messy.
Okay, come on.
-(SCREAMS) -Peri, get back!
It's a minefield out there!
There's only one way to go...
Straight through.
Straight through?
We'd like to keep fur
on our bodies, thank you.
We'll head back and go around.
-That's safer.  -PERIWINKLE: No. No.
There's no time.
The dam will burst before we make it.
We'll drown!
PABLO: If we go through this,
we get blown to bits.
-We go forward. -We go back!
-Forward! -Back!
-Forward! -Back!
-Can I say something? -BOTH: No!
You are so stubborn and hardheaded!
Well, I guess that proves it.
I am a penguin!
Come on.
-Fine. -I don't know.
Drowning sounds like a much
gentler way to go.
Blown to bits sounds so... sudden.
(SCREAMS)
She's gonna get herself killed!
Peri, wait! Peri!
(SILENT EXPLOSIONS)
(MUFFLED EXPLOSIONS)
AARDVARK DAD:
Kids, look! A Frost Fairy!
TINKER BELL:
I just heard you're going extinct.
PABLO: Bravery is just dumb. PERIWINKLE: You can't be two things!
CRASH: He thinks you're a jerk
and to go away!
-BIRD: Where's your big happy family? -What if I am a Frost Fairy?
PABLO: (ECHOING)
What's wrong with you?
Hey, come on! We gotta go! Now!
(EXPLOSIONS RUMBLING)
Hey, guys! Head out from the tree,
pass three geysers,
and then go left.
Pablo! What are you doing up there?
A few of geysers are blowing up.
I can see it from here.
As you said, a penguin never forgets.
(SCREAMING)
That way!
Go left! Good!
(SCREAMING)
Now cut right! Awesome!
(GROANING)
(KRISTOFF GRUNTS)
You did it!
(GASPS)
Oh, boy.
-(BOTH CHEERING) -(GROUND RUMBLING)
We're okay!
Pablo, go around the city.
We'll meet you at the Titanic!
PABLO: Last one there is a fossil!
(GASPING)
The worst is behind us.
But it's catching up to us quickly.
-We came as soon as you called. -I called to talk to Tink.
It never occurred to me she
wouldn't be there.
Orchid is talking to Scotland Yard now.
And the Nerdlucks are in touch with
their friends in the British military.
You just need to focus on the wedding.
I know but, Naveen with everything
going on, I'm not sure...
-Sir Axlerod. -I'm sorry to interrupt.
-It's all right. -I just wanted to personally thank you.
Because after Ireland, I was finished,
and then you gave me one last shot.
Listen...
I probably shouldn't be saying this,
but I hope you marry today.
You show the world that they've been
wrong about Incanta.
Tiana would want you to marry her.
All right. For Tink.
Here he comes.
-ZÜNDAPP: What happened? -I don't know, Professor.
-What did you do? -I didn't do nothing.
Shh, I'm talking to the Professor.
What's that, Professor Z?
-You broke it! -Quiet!
-I understand, sir. Yes. -What did he say?
-We go to the back-up plan. -Back-up plan?
We snuck a bomb in the Tower of London.
When it makes a stop,
instead of saying "Ka-chow"...
he's going to go "Ka-boom"!
(LAUGHTER)
Don't feel bad, Tinker Fairy.
You couldn't have saved him.
Oh, wait, you could have! (LAUGHS)
-Dad-gum lemons! -COMPUTER: Request acknowledged.
What? You didn't think we'd
take your bullets?
(CACKLING)
That's right! You got nothing!
Who's the Winter Fairy now, huh?
(MOCKING LAUGHTER)
Nice try, Tink.
-Dad-gum... Dad-gum... Dad-gum. -Request... Request... Request...
VIDIA: Tinker Bell!
I got to get y'all out of there.
There's no time.
Terence needs your help.
But I can't. I'm just a Tinker Fairy.
It's up to you. Go to the Titanic
and get everyone onboard.
-You can do that. -What about you guys?
We'll be okay.
Go and get some more dents, Tinker Bell.
(PEOPLE CHEERING)
FOZZIE: That's a nice venue.
KERMIT: The main entrance is
too well-guarded.
I'm gonna need to get in some other way.
Here you go.
(CLEARS THROAT)
-You're the new guy? -Yes, I am. The new guy.
-Next time, wear a uniform. -Right.
(WHIMPERING)
-What are you doing here? -(WHIMPERING)
You're supposed to be getting ready,
Number One.
And also, your thing is showing.
Ah, yes. Yes, of course.
I know that, you complete idiot.
Why do you think I am walking around
with these flowers to cover my face?
-All right. Calm down. -Thank you.
For nothing!
Wow, Kermit, you were like
James Bond back there.
Thanks, Fozzie.
It felt pretty good, actually.
Okay, listen, guys.
Walter, you take Animal and
go look in the chapel.
Right.
-Fozzie, you come with me. -Yes, sir.
-Good luck, guys. -You too, Kermit.
KERMIT: Piggy?
Where is she?
Kermit, these are your clothes.
-Whoa! -(MIRROR SHATTERS)
Shh!
CONSTANTINE: This tuxedo is too tight.
Someone's coming! Hide! Hide!
CONSTANTINE: Which room
am I supposed to be in?
Ah, here it is.
I hate weddings.
Hmm?
Hmm...
(GASPS)
Ha!
What the...
Ah. There you are.
Well, don't just stand there gawping,
Number Two.
Come in.
-How did you do that? -CONSTANTINE: Do what?
Ow! I mean, nothing.
Whatever.
Let us take this convenient
opportunity to review our plans, hmm?
Once you've stolen the Crown Jewels
and framed the Muppets,
ring the Titanic five times
and we will rendezvous on the stern
and make our escape in the
honeymoon helicopter.
But what will you do when
you're married?
Because the pig will know everything.
Phase four. I do not plan
to be married for long.
Yeah, but if you get divorced,
you'll have to share
the Crown Jewels with her fifty-fifty.
I will not be getting divorced, you idiot.
As soon as she's served
their purpose, kaboom.
It will be smoked ham
and bacon for breakfast.
No one, no one can stop me, now.
(GASPS)
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Champagne fridge delivery.
For Mr., uh... The Frog.
CONSTANTINE: Ah, yes.
Put it over there on the bear-skin rug.
(WHIMPERING SOFTLY)
FOZZIE: Ooh!
Thank you!
It's showtime.
Fozzie, are you okay?
Yeah, I think so. How do I look?
You look fine. You look fine.
Come on, we have to go rescue
Miss Piggy!
Right! Let's go!
The Lemur! I have you finally!
And Constantine,
the world's most dangerous frog!
Captured together.
The game is finally over between us,
and I'm the winner!
-We are victorious, my French friend. -No, no, no.
As you might say, case sol-ved!
Perfect! Time for my annual
eight-week paid vacation.
-Au revoir. -Au revoir.
No, wait!
What am I supposed to do with them
until the mobile holding unit arrives?
On holiday!
KERMIT: No, you've got the wrong frog.
And stay there! Hmph!
(BOTH WHIMPERING)
Oh, and so you know, Number Two,
I have hired us help, to keep you honest.
Number Twos have a habit of
betraying their Number Ones.
Here, meet your accomplices.
The world's smallest team of jewel thieves.
Salutations.
Babies, meet your new boss.
Genius, I know! Who would suspect
babies of stealing Crown Jewels?
-Good luck, Number Two. -You too, Number One.
Look at their sweet faces.
(BLOWING RASPBERRIES)
LINK HOGTHROB: Let's see.
Where am I seated?
I'll need an usher.
Usher? ls there an usher?
Yes. I'm the Usher.
Pig or frog?
What do you think?
I don't know, man. Pig?
No. Frog. I'm related through marriage.
What kind of an usher are you?
(SIGHS)
Hey, there. Can we help you guys?
Yeah, we're the Disney
synergy invites. This is our row.
What's synergy?
It's the interaction of multiple elements
in a system.
Okay, see you soon.
(GAGGING)
-(GARGLES) -(COUGHS)
(GAGGING CONTINUES)
-Kermit, are you carsick? -(COUGHS)
I swallowed a hairpin months ago,
in case something like this should happen.
It's one of those things
you learn in prison, Fozzie.
Hmm.
(RETCHING)
Give me your paw.
Huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
That's slimy.
Fozzie! I had that thing
in my gullet for three months.
I'm sorry, but that was just gross.
Good grief.
(BABBLING INDISTINCTLY)
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Wow, people really were smaller
in the old days.
You're up, little dudes.
Go, go, go.
Down.
(GRUNTING)
Tip.
Come on! What the...
(SIGHS)
-ALL: Dominic. Hey, Dominic. -Shh.
Shut up.
(BELL TOLLING)
(GASPS)
The wedding, it's starting.
(SIGHS)
She looks beautiful.
Fozzie, we got to do something.
Oh, this is so frustrating!
Wow, would you look at that?
Now that's a poorly made car.
Let's get out of here!
(FOZZIE GRUNTS)
(GROANING)
-Bear left. -Right, frog.
(BOTH PANTING)
(GASPING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
VULTURE:
Do not leave your children unattended.
All unattended children will be eaten.
-Have you seen a penguin? -No, sorry.
-Have you seen a penguin? -No. No, I haven't.
-Possum about 11 foot tall? -Uh-uh.
Hey, buddy, have you seen a penguin?
-I sure have. Big as life. -Where?
-I'm looking at him. -Not me.
Poor guy.
Doesn't know he's a Frost Fairy.
-(GLACIERS RUMBLING) -(GASPS)
-Hey, I saw another one. -Where?
It's you again.
-(ALL MURMURING INDISTINCTLY) -(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)
(SOBBING) I'm just happy for them.
Really happy for them.
-Would you please stop talking? -Okay. (SNIFFLES)
(BLOWS NOSE)
Dearly beloved...
(SIGHS)
What! Code Red! Code Red!
(BABIES EXCLAIMING)
Oh, come on.
-Not a laser web. -BABY: Ooh, pretty.
Right. Go and get the
suspend-y ropey thing.
-And my really cool skintight outfit. -Yep.
Shawn, come back from vacation!
Constantine and the Lemur
have escaped.
The Crown Jewels are in danger!
We are gathered here today
to witness the union
of this pig and this frog
in Holy Matrimony before the
presence of God.
'80S ROBOT:
What are you going, little frog?
Come with me. My uncle wants you.
DOMINIC: Thank you, Thomas Blood.
I don't see him anywhere!
Maybe he's already on board.
(GROUND RUMBLING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
-Hey, guys! -Fairy Gary?
-I'm Tinker Bell's sister, Periwinkle! -Haven't you heard?
There's a guy that getting
on the Titanic wasn't easy.
Who?
It's Gustav.
Wait a second. Who's Gustav?
He's the picky gatekeeper bird.
GUSTAV: Passengers, please!
Rub your bellies and roll over
on your backs.
We'll do whatever you do
to calm yourselves down.
ROBIN: Excuse us!
I wanna see my uncle.
-I'm his nephew. -And I'm his valet.
Just go back to the chapel, passengers.
Your uncle will be here soon.
We have to find someone.
-A possum about 11 feet tall. -GUSTAV: Attention!
This is the pre-boarding announcement.
And you must have missed it.
Thanks. Come on, guys. Hurry!
At this time, we're only boarding
passengers with mates.
ALL: Mates?
-He's mine! -I saw him first!
What if you don't have a mate?
Then you can travel standby.
-What's standby travel? -You stand by, and we travel.
-(RUMBLING) -(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
FAIRY GARY:
Is there someone we can talk to?
GUSTAV: Mother Nature will be here
any moment to field questions.
(GRUNTS)
Wait a second! It's made of marzipan!
EDDIE: So, we'll be okay? Really?
She wouldn't have left if I'd told her the truth.
Argh!
Being killed by a clock.
Gives a whole new meaning to "Your time has come."
Time? That's it!
What are you doing?
Trying to turn back time.
If I can just reverse the polarity.
Good job. Quick thinking, boys.
What's everybody on the wrong side of the road for?
EDDIE: Oh, no!
Fly! Burn rubber!
We've got to get to the course.
Calculate the fastest way to...
Done.
Oh. Miss Spike.
They're standard issue now.
You kids get all the good hardware.
Oh, no, that's Tinker Bell's.
I knew her escape was too easy.
Do you, Kermit the Frog,
take Miss Piggy to be your
lawfully wedded wife,
in sickness and in health,
so help you God?
Yes. Yes, I do.
-And do you, Miss Piggy... -Hmm?
...take Kermit the Frog to be your
lawfully wedded husband,
in sickness and in health,
so help you God?
I...
(ALL GASP)
I...
(ALL GASP)
(WHISPERING) Just say "I do."
This is what you've always wanted, right?
I do?
I'm sorry, is that a question?
No, it was not a question.
(PANTING)
We have to do something, guys.
Kermit, we've got to get you close
to Miss Piggy!
Huh. What does this do?
(YELLS)
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
Ooh!
-What the... -Piggy, it's me, Kermit.
Come on, we have to get out of here!
The wedding is off.
Oh, wow!
Like, I kind of knew he'd get cold flippers.
Huh? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Excuse us.
(ALL YELLING)
No, Kermit! What are you doing?
-Piggy, I will explain later. -I cannot believe...
-CONSTANTINE: Come here, frog! -(EXCLAIMS)
Where you going?
I'm sorry, my dear, forgive me.
MISS PIGGY: What is going on
at my wedding?
-Gotcha! -What?
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
WALTER: Animal, pull!
CONSTANTINE:
What is happening here?
Catch froggie! Catch froggie!
Well, this is the
best Muppet wedding ever!
Piggy, listen! That's not me! I'm me!
(CHEWING)
He's Constantine,
the world's most dangerous...
-(YELLS) -(ALL EXCLAIM)
(GASPS)
Two Kermits?
Well, that explains a lot.
I knew it. No one could have
a cold for that long.
Or that bad of an accent, okay.
-Two Kermits. -Our nightmare.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
How can there be two Kermits?
And here I was worrying about the rain.
Of all the ways to ruin a wedding,
this has got to be the most creative.
Two Kermits!
No, just one Kermit. Me.
He's lying. I'm the real Kermit the Frog!
He's an impostor!
I'm not the impostor! You're the impostor!
I will let you do whatever
you want, comrades.
Because I love you!
Love isn't about doing
what everyone wants!
Love is about doing
what you know is best.
Now I know I can't be loved all the time.
Heck, I can't be liked all the time.
But I love you.
All of you.
Even when you drive me crazy.
And some of you because
you drive me crazy.
No, no, no. Do not listen to him!
I am the real Kermit.
That's ridiculous! I am Kermit the Frog!
No, I am Kermit the Frog!
Hi-lo, Kermit the Frog, here.
"Hi-lo?" It's "Hi-ho!"
Would every Kermit be quiet!
BOTH: Huh?
I'm going through a
lot of emotions right now.
I've waited my whole life for this moment,
so why aren't I more happy?
I mean, I'm not even crying
at my own wedding!
Is this all just what I thought I wanted?
Are you just the Kermit
I thought I wanted?
Well, there's only one sure way
to settle this.
First Kermit.
Will you marry me?
Yes of course, let's go!
There's a helicopter waiting, my love!
And you, the other Kermit...
Will you marry me?
(STAMMERING) Well, I mean, I...
-I would. I mean, I could. It's... -(GASPS)
That's my Kermit!
-(YELLS) -(ALL GASP)
-(ALL CHEERING) -DR. TEETH: That's our frog!
I now pronounce you frog and pig.
Kissy-kissy!
This hobo believes in love again.
What are you doing over there?
Hmm...
(ALL GASP)
That is right, Muppets!
I am Constantine,
the world's most dangerous frog
and number two criminal!
And a thousand times more frog better
than this Kermit person!
You gullible idiots didn't even realize
I was setting you up!
None of those five-star reviews was real.
And those standing ovations?
I paid for them!
And now,
I have only one thing to say to you fools!
(IMITATING KERMIT) Good night, folks!
-(BEEPING) -(ALL CLAMORING)
Yay!
What is that?
It's a bomb!
He blows up all his crime scenes!
We have to find the bomb!
This is where my patented magnetic
bomb-attractor vest can aid us,
that Beaker is conveniently wearing.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
What? What's going on?
(SCREAMING)
Wait! Miss Piggy's ring is the bomb!
Whoa!
Some of you guys grab Piggy,
and some of you guys grab me.
Pull!
-(ALL GASP) -(SCREAMING)
That's only 800 years old.
(EXCLAIMING)
Nicely done, Beaker!
(YELLING)
BUNSEN:
At no point were you in any danger.
He was in a lot of danger back there.
What about you? You don't have a mate!
Okay, okay, the rule does not apply to me.
But I do have power.
So whatever I say goes!
(ALL GROWLING)
(WHIMPERS)
(GLACIERS RUMBLING)
Aha!
(SNIFFING AND SIGHS)
-(CONDOR SQUAWKS) -(GASPS)
(IMITATES THROAT SLASHING)
(ICE CRACKING REVERBERATES)
(GROANS)
(GULPS)
(SCRAT SCREAMING)
Come back here! Stop!
-Tinker Bell? -Everybody, get onboard now.
What are you guys doing here?
-We're here because of you, Tiana. -Is everything okay?
No, everything's not okay.
There's an iceberg flood moving in.
-Y'all got to get onboard. Now. -The flood?
(COMMUNICATOR BUZZES)
-PABLO: Tinker Bell. -Pablo! You're okay.
Listen to me. The bomb is on you!
They knew you'd try to help Terence.
When we were knocked out,
they planted it in your upper forehead.
-Uh-oh. -Tinker Bell! There you are!
-TINKER BELL: Stop right there! -I've been so worried about you.
TINKER BELL: Don't come any closer! TERENCE: Are you okay?
No, I'm not okay! Stay away from me!
TERENCE: No, wait! Wait!
BRENT: A Tinker Fairy has just raced
onto the ship, flying backwards!
Tink, wait!
Normally an emergency vehicle on the
track means there's been an accident.
-Terence is chasing her! -Tink, wait!
Stay back! If you get close to me,
you're going to get hurt real bad!
TERENCE: I know I made you feel that
way before, but none of that matters!
We're best friends!
BRENT:
And Terence seems to be having
a conversation with the Tinker Fairy.
LEWIS: I don't know who that fairy is,
Brent, but tell you what,
he's got to be the world's best
backwards flyer.
Terence, you don't get it! I'm the bomb!
Yes, Tink! You are the bomb!
That's what I'm trying to say here!
You've always been the bomb
and you'll always be the bomb.
-Stay away! -No! Never!
Almost there.
I'm not letting you get away again!
-Got to keep away from Terence! -COMPUTER: Request acknowledged.
Oh, my gosh.
(BLEEPING)
-(AIR RAID SIREN BLARING) -Attention!
At this time,
we're now boarding everyone!
(ALL SCREAMING)
Hurry! This way! Come on! Get going!
What is happening? It's a bad dream!
BRENT: And Terence just blasted away,
hooked to the now
rocket-propelled Tinker Fairy.
GUSTAV: I'm in charge here! Me! Me!
Gargh!
Aagh!
The Professor's on the run!
-Someone's got to get Tink. -Get Tinker Bell!
-There it is. -Pablo, help! Whoa!
(SCREAMS)
-EDDIE: Whoa! -Come on, come on, run!
(SCREAMS)
-(GRUNTING) -Push.
-You guys gotta go. -We're not leaving you!
-I'm not asking. -Pablo, no.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Pablo, don't worry! We're going for help!
-Stay here! -PABLO: Duh!
(ALL SHOUTING)
-Help us! -Help!
Somebody help... Periwinkle!
EDDIE: Peri!
CRASH: Peri! EDDIE: It's Pablo!
He's trapped in the cave!
Spike, I'll get Zündapp. Help Tinker Bell.
Got it!
What is happening?
(FLOODWATERS RUMBLING)
(ALL YELL)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Whoa!
(WHIMPERING)
(GASPS)
(GRUNTING)
-Pablo! -Peri?
Hurry, Professor.
You really think I'm going to let you float away, Professor?
(STRAINS)
-Help! -I'll will save you!
(GROANS)
Great. Who's gonna save her?
You really need to brush.
(GROANS) Okay, okay, okay.
Jump in... now!
(GROANS) Come on, fraidy fish.
Come on! You can do this,
you can do this, you can do this.
EDDIE: No!
Trust your instincts. Attack the water.
I am not your prey. I am not your prey.
I am not... your... prey!
(YELLS)
(GASPS)
(GRUNTING)
(GRUNTING)
(GASPING)
Uh-huh. Attack the water.
Stalking the prey. Claw! Kick!
Even babies can do it! Come on!
Claw! Kick! Claw! Kick!
Hey! I'm stalking the prey!
(SCREAMS)
CRASH: Eddie!
(PANTING)
You did it, buddy.
You kicked water's butt.
Nothing to it. Most people
can swim as babies, you know.
Yeah, but not piranhas. I left that part out.
-Terence, let go! -Never!
They're coming your way.
Let's go!
Give it up, McMissile.
(RAPID BLEEPING)
GLISS: Tinker Bell, stop!
No way! You could get hurt.
Oh, no.
(SNARLING)
(GROANING)
(INHALES DEEPLY)
What? (GRUNTS)
There she is!
Pablo! Hold on to me!
(PANTING)
(PABLO GROANING MUFFLY)
(GASPS)
Peri! Peri, behind you!
(INHALES DEEPLY)
There they are!
-Whoo-hoo! -EDDIE: They made it!
(WHOOPING)
(GRUNTING)
We thought we'd never see you again.
We're gonna live!
We're gonna die!
-(GASPING) -(CRAGS RUMBLING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(ALL CLAMORING)
WOMAN: This is gonna be a bumpy ride!
(ALL SHOUTING)
Tink, we've got to get that bomb off you.
Bomb?
Yeah, they strapped it to me to kill you as a back-up plan.
Back-up plan? Tinker Bell, who put a bomb on you?
You! Why didn't my death ray kill you?
Death ray?
Turn off the bomb, Zündapp!
Are you all so dense? It's voice-activated.
Everything is voice-activated these days.
Deactivate! Deactivate!
AUTOMATED VOICE: Voice denied.
Huh!
Oops.
Did I forget to mention that it can only be disarmed
by the one who activated it?
Say it.
Deactivate.
AUTOMATED VOICE: Voice denied.
I'm not the one who activated it. Would anyone else like to try?
You read my mind.
He was getting on my nerves.
What do we do?
It's very simple. You blow up.
I'm going out on a limb here. These are the guys that want me dead, correct?
It's nothing personal.
Fellers, listen.
I know what you're going through.
Everybody's been laughing at me too.
But becoming powerful and rich beyond your wildest dreams
ain't gonna make you feel better.
Yeah, but it's worth a shot.
One big leap from Moron Mountain.
Not today, boys.
(YELLS)
Retreat!
Thanks for the help, Corporal.
Anything for one of Pop's mates.
That's it, Clanky.
Queen Clarion, it's not working.
The wind, it's too strong!
(ROARING)
Tinker Bell.
Queen Clarion! They can help.
Our frost, it covers like a blanket.
It can protect the ship.
Do it.
(ALL GASP)
Oh, no.
It's getting colder.
Let's hand out the blankets.
They'll keep us warm!
Hurry, Peri. Hurry!
That's it. There you go!
Make sure to cover your wings!
The ship! It's too big.
We're never going to make it.
I'm sorry.
(OWL TWITTERING)
(FAIRIES LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
Whoopsie! Ha!
Lord Milori.
We've come to help.
Now, you didn't think I was
going to let you
do this all by yourself, now did you?
The ship should be our top priority.
But any fairy we can spare should try
to frost the other seasons.
Start at the freeze line and spread out
to Spring and Summer.
The rest of you, cover the ship!
FAIRY MARY: Oh, my goodness.
Look, Bobble! The snowy owls!
Ah!
Thank you.
Stay warm.
Oh.
Now!
We've done all we can. Join the others.
The freeze is upon us.
You must take cover.
Follow me.
Oh, I hope it works.
CLANK: Tink!
Will everything be all right?
I don't know.
I've never seen anything like this.
(SHIVERS)
Thank you, Milori.
Please, take cover.
Winter Fairies, stand guard.
That laser gun can't fit the bolts!
What's he saying? What's wrong?
None of his wrenches fit the bolts.
I get it. I get it!
I know what needs to be done.
Then do it!
What? No. I can't do it.
Nobody takes me seriously.
I know that now. This ain't Pixie Hollow.
Yes, it is.
Look, you're yourself in Pixie Hollow.
Be yourself here.
And if people aren't taking you seriously,
then they need to change, not you.
I know that because I was wrong before.
Now, you can do this. You're the bomb.
Thanks, buddy.
No, you're the actual bomb. Now, let's go!
(WHINES)
(SNORTING)
What is it, buddy?
Hey, watch it.
What's wrong with you?
(GRUNTING)
I don't understand you
when you talk like that.
(YELPS) Stop it! Put me down!
(SNORTS)
No, Sven!
-We're not going back. -(WHINES)
She's with her true love.
(SIGHS)
(WHOOSHING)
What the...
Anna!
(PANTING)
(KRISTOFF GRUNTS)
Come on! Come on, boy.
(SHIVERING)
(DOORKNOB RATTLING)
(WEAKLY) Help.
(GIGGLING)
(GASPS) Anna!
Oh, no.
(SHRIEKS)
(CONTINUES SHIVERING)
-Olaf? -(GASPS)
Olaf. Get away from there.
Wow!
So, this is heat.
I love it.
Ooh! But don't touch it.
-(TINKER BELL GROANING) -(GRUNTING)
So, where's Hans?
What happened to your kiss?
I was wrong about him. It wasn't true love.
But we ran all the way here.
Please, Olaf, you can't stay here.
You'll melt.
I am not leaving here until
we find some other act
of true love to save you.
Do you happen to have any ideas?
I don't even know what love is.
That's okay, I do.
Love is
putting someone else's
needs before yours.
Like, you know, how Kristoff brought
you there to Hans and left you forever.
(GASPS) Kristoff loves me?
Wow, you really don't know anything
about love, do you?
Olaf, you're melting.
Some people are worth melting for.
(MUMBLES)
Just maybe not right this second.
(YELLS)
Don't worry, I've got it.
(PANTING)
We're gonna get through... Oh, wait.
Hang on, I'm getting something.
(GASPS) It's Kristoff and Sven!
They're coming back this way.
They... They are?
Wow! He's really moving fast.
I guess I was wrong.
I guess Kristoff doesn't
love you enough to leave you behind.
Help me up, Olaf. Please.
No, no, no! You need to
stay by the fire and keep warm.
I need to get to Kristoff.
Why?
(GASPING) Oh, I know why!
There's your act of true love right there!
Riding across the fjords
like a valiant, pungent reindeer king!
Come on!
(BOTH GASP)
OLAF: Look out!
-(GROANS) -Oh!
(OLAF PANTING)
(BOTH GASP)
Uh... Back this way.
(YELPS) We're trapped.
(GASPS)
(WHIMPERING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
(SIGHS) Oh...
-Boy, I missed you, guys! -(ALL CLAMORING EXCITEDLY)
Wait. Where did Constantine go?
Kermit! Help!
-Piggy! -Help!
She's on the roof!
Shut up and keep moving, pig!
You are my insurance policy!
Huh?
Number Two, you look ridiculous.
Why are you wearing that?
Because I am the Lemur.
And the world's
new number one criminal.
That's right.
This is where I double-cross you.
Good-bye forever, former Number One.
First rule of double-cross.
You don't announce the double-cross
before you double-cross.
It's not even a rule
because it is so obvious.
-(BEEPING) -(SCREAMS)
The Lemur is literally the worst bad guy
name I have ever heard!
(SQUEALS)
Whoa! (GIGGLES)
Slide, Anna!
(TINKER BELL BREATHING HEAVILY)
(BOTH SHRIEK)
(OLAF VOCALIZING)
(GROANS)
We made it!
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Let's go!
(STRUGGLING)
Oh, no!
He's getting away!
What are we gonna do?
I'm gonna stop that helicopter.
(ALL CLAMORING)
We're coming! Hang on, Miss Piggy!
Jump!
-(WHIMPERING) -Shut up, pig!
Kermit!
We have to do something!
We have got to help Kermit!
Can somebody think of a brilliant
Kermit-saving idea?
I got it!
There's only one way
we can reach him up there!
Muppet Ladder!
-What the... -Kermit!
-(PANTING) -(GRUNTING)
Come on, buddy, faster.
(TINKER BELL GROANING)
Kristoff!
(OLAF PANTING)
Keep going!
Kristoff!
Come on!
(SHIVERING)
(WHIMPERING)
No.
(PANTING)
-Come on up, Chef! -SWEDISH CHEF: Okay.
Watch the hair, bear.
Give up, Constantine. I've got you now!
Bad move, frog.
-(SCREAMS) -Kermit!
Okay, Kermit, we're coming to get you.
Now!
-ALL: Whoa! -Whoa!
No, something's wrong.
We're not moving.
(ALL STRAINING)
You're ruining my getaway!
(MISS PIGGY GASPS)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
(GASPING)
Constantine, can we talk this over?
Good-bye, Kermit the Frog!
-(SCREAMING) -No!
(ALL GASP)
-(MISS PIGGY SOBBING) -Checkmate! Let's go, pig.
JANICE: Bummer. GONZO: Uh-oh!
(ALL STRAINING)
Stop right there, Les Muppets,
you are all under arrest.
Wait a minute. They're getting away!
-Whoa! -Not so fast!
I have you now! Whoa!
Help me, Shawn.
Don't worry! I have you, mon ami!
(GRUNTING)
Whoa!
(YELLS) Whoa!
Sven... Sven!
(GRUNTING)
Good boy.
(ALL STRAINING)
-Muppets, don't they ever give up? -(SNIFFLES)
Full power.
-(SNICKERING) -(MUPPETS STRAINING)
I'm slipping!
I can't hold on much longer!
-(CHICKENS CLUCKING) -He's going to get away!
(SHIVERING)
(GASPING)
(WEAKLY) Kristoff.
-Kristoff... -Anna...
Anna!
(GASPING)
Elsa! You can't run from this!
Just take care of my sister.
Your sister?
She returned from the mountain
weak and cold.
She said that you froze her heart.
No.
I tried to save her, but it was too late.
Her skin was ice. Her hair turned white.
Your sister is dead.
Because of you.
No.
(WHIMPERING)
(SOBBING)
ROBIN: Uncle's sprung and he's mad.
Guys, look! Kermit's alive!
And way badder than before!
-(MUPPETS CHEERING) -Thank you, Robin!
-Good luck, Uncle Kermit. -Take him down, monsieur!
(ALL GASP)
Tinker Bell.
(SHIVERING)
(GRUNTING)
(GASPS)
Kristoff.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) Anna!
(GRUNTING)
-(GRUNTING) -You're okay!
The frog? But how?
Hang on, Piggy! I'm coming!
Go get 'em, Kermit!
(GRUNTS)
Kermie!
Welcome aboard, Kermit.
You don't know who you're dealing with.
I am the world's most dangerous frog.
Oh, brother!
You may be the
world's most dangerous frog,
but you're still a frog!
No one tricks me into marrying them
and then hurts my Kermie!
Ha!
(GRUNTING)
(PANTING)
(WHIMPERS)
(GROANS)
(SCREAMS)
Oh!
(SCREAMS)
(RUMBLING)
(WATER SLUSHING)
(SWORD UNSHEATHING)
Elsa?
(GRUNTS)
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
No!
(GRUNTS)
(EXHALES)
(GASPS) Anna!
Oh. Anna!
No, no!
Please, no.
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SOBBING)
Anna?
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
(GROANING)
What a woman!
Yeah. My woman.
And I believe this belongs to you.
(GROANS)
Well, I'm sorry I ruined the wedding.
Oh, Kermie.
I'm so glad you did.
So, uh, how do we land this thing, huh?
Oh, that's easy.
ROWLF: Okay. Can we get down now?
-(SIRENS APPROACHING) -We did it, guys!
(ALL CHEERING)
SCOOTER: What an action sequence!
LEW ZEALAND:
You sure look pretty, Miss Piggy.
Thank you.
(GASPS)
(GASPS)
(GASPS) Anna?
(SIGHS)
Oh, Elsa.
You sacrificed yourself for me?
I love you.
(GASPS) "An act of true love
will thaw a frozen heart."
"Love will thaw."
Love. Of course.
Peri?
Love!
(GASPS)
(PEOPLE MURMURING IN AWE)
I knew you could do it.
Hands down,
this is the best day of my life.
And, quite possibly, the last.
Oh, Olaf! Hang on, little guy.
Oh, oh, oh!
(GASPS)
My own personal flurry! (GIGGLES)
(CHUCKLES)
(HANS GROANS)
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
Anna?
But she froze your heart.
The only frozen heart
around here is yours.
-(GRUNTS) -(SCREAMS)
(ALL CHEERING)
-Wonderful! -(ALL EXCLAIMING IN JOY)
GUSTAV: Passengers,
here's our final destination.
Please exit in an orderly fashion.
-No! -(GRUNTS)
-I don't think so! -FAIRY GARY: Charge!
(CHATTERING)
Whee-hah!
-I'm not leaving! -Grandpa, let go of the boat!
-The flood's over! -GRANDPA: This is my boat now!
-Come on, let's go! Come on, come on! -(CHIRPING)
(LAUGHS) Stu! We made it!
We're gonna live!
Well, I am, anyway.
BEAKER: Ooh! ROBIN: So long, feathers.
Loser!
(GROANING)
How about you do it your way?
Congratulations, weirdos,
you've saved the Crown Jewels!
Did you know this frog robbed
museums in Berlin, Madrid, Dublin,
and London?
All those sound familiar.
And you've caught
my nemesis, the Lemur.
Look at his little costume.
That's adorable!
-I'm not adorable. -He is adorable.
You're adorable!
Did you make that kitty-cat outfit?
The bad guy is Dominic Badguy!
It's pronounced "Bad-gee."
Well, mon ami, I guess this is where
we say goodbye.
You go your way, and I go mine.
(SOBBING)
Here comes the rain. Oh, boy.
And I said I wasn't going to do this.
Oh, pull yourself together, man.
Stop crying.
We're only saying our final farewell.
Goodbye, forever! (SOBBING)
I'm going to miss you so much!
I'm going to miss you, my French friend.
(ALL GROANING)
Whenever you're ready.
-Yes. -Yes, of course.
-Take them away! -Take them away!
-DOMINIC: Thank you. -Au revoir, Muppets.
-Bye-bye. -See you!
Sam. Sam! Wait for me!
Since I stole the Crown Jewels,
guess I'm number one now.
But we're going to jail.
Doesn't matter.
Still counts, still stole 'em.
♪ I'm number one you're number two
Shut up.
That's my song.
-(KIDS LAUGHING) -PITCHERS: I'm gonna catch you!
I'm thinking about starting a swim school.
Tinker Bell's Squids.
-(SCREAMS) -Huh?
All hail Fire Queen!
Uh, hi.
Hi-hi-hi! Hi! Hi!
Fire Queen avert flood.
Join us, O great and noble flaming one.
Hmm!
Ho! No. Not so fast there! Okay?
You make a quality offer...
but Fire Queen has a prior commitment.
Her herd need her.
She is the gooey, sticky...
stuff that holds us together.
She made this herd and...
we'd be nothing without her.
You mean it? Ohh!
Tink! Tink, I'm... (GROANS)
That doesn't mean "want to touch."
(ALL SIGHING)
(SIGHS) Don't ask.
(WHISTLES)
-Is that... Bad juju? -MALE TOAD: No.
Good sushi!
(SLURPS)
(SIGHS)
You know, I missed all of you so much.
NADYA: There he is, right there!
Arrest him! Arrest that frog!
Nadya? Wait. For what?
For breaking my heart.
I mean, leading the largest mass
break-out in Gulag history.
You will get 30 years. Maybe 50.
-But... -No "buts," Kermit.
You didn't finish Gulag Annual Revue,
and you didn't even say goodbye.
-What? -What?
You are coming with me. Now, move!
(STAMMERING) Fellas, listen. Easy.
No, no, no! Kermit!
Wait!
We're sorry, Kermit.
We're sorry that we didn't
notice you were missing.
We're sorry we didn't tell you
often enough
how much you mean to all of us.
We're sorry we ever took you for granted.
But that's never going to happen again.
Because if Kermit has to go back
to the gulag,
you'll have to take me, too.
No.
You're my best friend, Kermit.
Wherever you go, I go.
You'll have to take me, too.
And me.
Kermit, we convinced ourselves
that evil frog was you
because he gave us what we
thought we wanted.
When what we really wanted...
What we really needed...
Was you, Kermit.
The actual, real you.
It would appear you were right, Kermit.
I guess this is our family.
And families belong together.
-You are free to go. -(ALL GASP)
Forever.
(ALL CHEERING)
Kermit, did you hear that? We're free!
Nadya, thank you! Great!
That's wonderful!
Wait!
Hey, guys, listen.
We still have to finish our world tour.
And I know where we need to play
next after our open winter wonderland.
For one night only,
Siberia, Russia!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yes, yes!
I'll pack my swimsuit right away!
Oh, wonderful!
It's terrible. You will hate it.
You will hate it.
Hang on!
Where's he going?
-Computer! -COMPUTER: Yes, Agent Tink?
I need that thing you done before
to get me away from Terence!
Request acknowledged.
-Tinker Bell? -Now I need you to do the chute!
-The second kind, not the first! -COMPUTER: Deploying chute.
Who's winning the race?
Back off! Back away!
It's Terence!
No, it's okay! Tell 'em, Tink. Explain.
Okay.
Somebody's been sabotaging
the tourists and hurtin' the fairies,
and I know who.
Oh, wait. Your Majesty.
Bomb! It's a bomb!
Everybody, down!
Back up! Move it!
(ALL CLAMORING)
Get off the stage! Move it!
Hold your fire! He can't disarm it!
Tinker Bell, I don't know what you're
doing, but stand down now.
This ain't nothing at all like Pixie Hollow.
Tinker Bell, just cut to the chase.
Okay. It's him.
What? Me? You've got to be crazy.
I figured it out when I realized
y'all attached this ticking time bomb
with Whitworth bolts -
the same bolts that hold together that old
British fairy wings from the photograph.
Dewey! Show that picture.
Okay.
I remembered what they say
about old British wings:
if there ain't no dust under 'em,
there ain't no dust in 'em.
What is she talking about?
It was you leaking pixie dust at the party in Oslo.
You just blamed it on me.
Powerful fairies don't use dust, you twit.
Then you're fakin' it.
You didn't convert to no powerful.
If we pop that back,
we'll see that wings from that picture.
This lorry's crazy! She's going to kill us all!
Stay away!
But Sir Axlerod created the world tour.
Why would he want to hurt anyone?
To make Incanta look bad so
everybody'd go back to using dust.
He said it himself with that disguised voice.
Disguised voice? What are you
talking about? You're nuts, you are!
This is going nowhere fast.
We really should go, Grandmother.
One moment,
I'd like to see where this is going.
Tink, he created Incanta.
But what if she found that
huge dust field
just as the world was trying
to find something else?
What if he came up with Incanta just to
make alternative pixie dust look bad?
"What if?"
You're basing this on a "what if"?
-Okay, that's it.
-Lads, clear out.
Wait! Somebody save me!
The lorry's crazy!
Keep away, you idiot!
Tinker Bell!
Tinker Bell!
Someone do something!
You're insane, you are! Deactivate!
COMPUTER: Bomb deactivated.
Have a nice day, Sir Axlerod.
What a beautiful sight.
(CHEERING)
It worked! It worked, Tinker Bell.
Oh, thank goodness!
The wing from the photo.
It's a perfect match.
How did the Tinker Fairy figure it out?
It's official. You're coming to all my
world tours from now on.
We did it.
(CHANTING)
Whoa!
Oh!
CLANK: Come on, everyone!
(LAUGHTER)
Tink! Come on!
Tink?
What's wrong?
(GASPS) Oh!
When you flew to Winter,
that's why you fell.
Oh, no.
Oh, Tinker Bell.
Tink.
Why didn't you tell me?
We had to save the ship.
Besides, there's no cure
for a broken wing.
I'm so sorry.
This happened
because we tried to keep you apart.
QUEEN CLARION: But never again.
You belong together.
(SIGHS)
TINKER BELL: It's getting warmer.
You should get back to Winter.
Yeah.
I'll be okay.
I'll meet you tomorrow at the border.
Sisters?
Sisters.
BOTH: Jingles!
(BOTH LAUGH)
(GASPING)
Uh... Eh...
That's a new chapter.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Okay, that was amazing.
Miss Bell, you are fantastic!
Oh! Queen Clarion!
I didn't know they were going
to do the smoochy, smoochity.
Guess they're telling people now.
(BOTH SIGH)
-(GRUNTS) -(CHUCKLES)
(FANFARE)
Hyeeugh!
(GARBLED NOISES)
Tink, let's go. You're on.
Your Majesty, may I present
for the investiture of honorary
knighthood of the British Realm...
Tinker Bell of Pixie Hollow.
Go get 'em, buddy.
(WHIRRING)
I hereby dub thee Dame Tinker Bell.
(CHEERING)
Dame? Shoot, you can just
call me Tink, Your Majesty.
I don't wanna hear none
of this "dame" business.
By the way, have y'all met each other.
Queen, Terence. Terence, Queen.
Terence, Peri. Peri, Terence.
Queen, Terence.
RECEPTIONIST: Next!
Okay, we'll meet you there!
Ooh!
Thanks.
Next!
Uh, maybe you should go first.
(CLEARS THROAT) Next.
Ugh! All right.
Ooh! Would you look at that.
(EXCLAIMS)
Oh!
Ooh!
That feels good.
SAILOR: Setting course, sir.
(GROANS)
I will return this scoundrel to this country.
We shall see what the 12 brothers
think of his behavior.
Arendelle thanks you, milord.
This is unacceptable.
I am a victim of fear.
I've been traumatized.
Ah! My neck hurts.
Is there a doctor that I could see?
(STAMMERS)
And I demand to see the queen!
Oh. I have a message from the queen.
"Arendelle will henceforth and forever
"no longer do business
of any sort with Weaseltown."
"Weselton."
-It's Weselton! -SOLDIER: Let's go.
Come on, come on, come on!
(STAMMERING)
Okay, okay, here I come.
-(GRUNTS) Pole! -Whoops! Sorry.
Okay, Okay.
Here we are. Oh!
-(SQUEALS EXCITEDLY) -(GASPS)
ANNA: I owe you a sleigh.
-Are you serious? -Yes!
And it's the latest model.
No, I can't accept this.
You have to. No returns.
No exchanges. Queen's orders.
She's named you the Official
Arendelle Ice Master and Deliverer.
-What? That's not a thing. -Oh, sure it is.
And it even has a cup holder.
Do you like it?
Like it? I love it!
-Whoa. -(KRISTOFF CHUCKLES)
I could kiss you!
I could. I mean,
I'd like to. I'd...
(STAMMERS) May I? We me.
I mean, may we?
Wait, what?
We may.
Mmm.
Summer!
(GIGGLING)
(GASPS) Ooh...
Hello. (CHUCKLES)
(SNIFFS)
(EXHALES)
(GASPING)
(SNEEZING)
-(GASPS) -(SLURPS)
(SQUEALS)
(WHIMPERS)
-(BELLOWS) -(CHUCKLING)
The Winter Woods Wonderland Tour
is about to begin.
All spectators, clear the starting line.
I can't wait to get rockin'.
This is gonna be wicked!
We should do this every year.
Yeah, I just figured we never found out
who the world's fastest citizen is.
Plus, no press, no trophy, just touring.
-The way I like it. -Fionnoula likes it like this, too.
-Fionnoula, I'd like you to meet... -Prince Naveen of Maldonia.
It is official.
Terence is the luckiest
dust keeper in the world.
Why, thank you.
Which he will have to be to have
a chance against Fionnoula today!
See you at the skating line, Ter...
What is that?
Just something I had made up
for the occasion.
Is good, Terence. Very funny.
Was funnier when I did it,
but it's very funny.
What are you going to do next?
Are you going to take off your fenders?
Try it. You'll like it.
So, he's not so good-looking.
-Yeah. Nice try. -I'm serious!
That's why I love you, Naveen.
-Wish me luck! -You don't need it!
Ooh-hm! That Fionnoula is fine-looking!
And those open heels.
Ooh, I'm gonna have to go get
myself some coolant.
(WHOOPING)
Look out! Runaway bunny!
(LAUGHING)
-Sorry. -It's okay.
Hey, little buddy.
From Dewey?
It's what my friends call me.
(CHUCKLES)
Wow!
(STUTTERING)
I love your work.
I have so many questions for you.
Okay, you can let go of my hand now.
(GASPS)
All right, scrums, quit goofing around.
I'll have you know tampering
with books is a crime
-punishable by banishment! -Yes, sir.
-Hi. -(GASPS)
Hello there.
-I'm Sled. -Oh, my. That's perfect! Oh!
(GIGGLING)
I'm Rosetta.
Rosetta. That's beautiful.
Oh, my.
Oh, Miss Gliss!
An acorn!
Biggest one we could find.
I love it!
She likes acorns.
Must be a Winter thing.
Not really.
Tink.
You ready?
Ready.
(BOTH WHISTLING)
(ALL CHEERING)
(ALL GASP)
Ooh!
Lovely!
GIRL: Flowers!
-KID: Ice! -(ALL MUTTERING EXCITEDLY)
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
(ALL CHEERING)
-(APPLAUDING) -(WOMAN LAUGHING)
GERDA: Ooh! Whoo-hoo...
Swing me. (CHUCKLES)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
I like the open winter wonderland.
We are never keeping them apart.
(TINKER BELL GASPS)
Oh, Elsa, they're beautiful,
but you know I don't skate.
Come on! You can do it!
KRISTOFF: Look out.
Reindeer coming through.
I got it, I got it. I don't got it, I don't got it.
Hey, guys!
-That's it, Olaf. -(OLAF CHUCKLES)
Glide and pivot. And glide and pivot.
ELSA: Go. (LAUGHS)
(ALL LAUGHING)
KERMIT: Okay, guys, this is it.
The Gulag Finale!
Here we go!
A-one, two, three, four!
♪ Together again, again
♪ Gee, it's good to be together again, again
♪ I just can't imagine that you've ever been gone
♪ It's not starting over It's just going on
♪ Together again, again
♪ Now we're here
♪ And there's no need remembering when
♪ Because no feeling feels like that feeling
♪ Together again
♪ Again, again, again!
Whoo-hoo!
♪ Together again, again
♪ Gee, it's good to be together again, again
♪ I just can't imagine that you've ever been gone
♪ It's not starting over
♪ It's just going on
♪ Together again, again
♪ Now we're here
♪ And there's no need remembering when
♪ 'Cause no feeling feels like that feeling
♪ Together again
♪ Again
(SINGING IN RUSSIAN)
♪ I just can't imagine that you've ever been gone
♪ It's not starting over It's just going on
♪ Together again, again
♪ Gee, it's good to be together again, again
♪ 'Cause no feeling feels like that feeling
♪ Together a-...
♪ Together a-...
♪ Together again! ♪
Okay, Nadya, this is it. Your solo.
NADYA: Kermit!
(FIREWORKS WHISTLING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
So, is it true that glaciers are stealthy?
You're sitting on one now, man.
CLANK: (LAUGHING) Sneaky glacier.
(HUMMING)
(LAUGHS)
(GRUNTING)
Oh, boy.
Hey, pull the rope!
Oh, right.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
This cast is really heavy.
Rowlf, come here. Come here, come here.
ROWLF: Yeah, what do you got there?
FOZZIE: Take this.
(ROWLF GRUNTING)
You should have negotiated
a smaller font size.
(GROANS LOUDLY)
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I believe I may have
something that could help.
This is my automated
end-crawl operating machine.
All I have to do is push this button
and it will crawl all by itself.
-Whoa! -(BEAKER SCREAMING)
Oh. Let's try this.
Another qualified success.
-(BEAKER MOANING) -(SWEETUMS GROANING)
(LIVELY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(ENCHANTING INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(DREAMY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Check this out.
(LAUGHS)
(DRAMATIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(GROANING)
Oh!
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
You can go home now, Ma. The movie is over.