A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa voiceovers

WOMAN: You better write your letter
now and mail it right away

RATS: (SINGING)
We wish you a merry Christmas

MAILROOM:
Step aside, folks.

-Mail coming through.
-RAT: My antlers.

KERMIT:
Hmm.

KERMIT: Come on, guys.
FOZZIE: Yeah.

GONZO: Wow.
RAT: Watch it. Watch it, Ralph.

FOZZIE: Gonzo, give him Claire's letter.
-Here'a a letter for Santa.

PIGGY:
Whoo!

MONSTER:
Help, how can we save this--?

-I gotta try this.
-MONSTER: No-- Um-- Um--

GONZO:
Uh-oh!

PEPE:
You're stepping on my head.

KERMIT: Come on, guys.
PEPE: No, everything's a big joke, okay?

RIZZO:
Yeah, no good deed goes unpunished.

-These stickers are really sticky.
KERMIT: Yeah.

-Ha-ha-ha!
KERMIT: Oh, no.

RIZZO:
Oh, I hate when he does that.

GONZO:
You too. Air kiss.

FOZZIE:
Real leaves too.

FOZZIE:
"Closing early on Christmas Eve."

BUNSEN:
Oh, I can assure you he doesn't.

BEAKER:
Whoo-wee!

-Wow-wee.
BUNSEN: As you can see,

FOZZIE: Wow.
GONZO: Huh?

WIFE: But what about the weather?
I mean, it's freezing up there.

HUSBAND: Would you stop
and let me earn a living?

WIFE: I am trying to help you.
-Excuse me.

WIFE: Squawking?
-This wasn't such a great idea after all.

-Thank you.
FOZZIE: Thank you.

WIFE: You always squelch my ideas.
-Look, look. There they go.

-We don't talk to no rat.
RIZZO: What?

-Now get out of here.
RIZZO: All right, okay, okay.

KERMIT: Oh, good.
GONZO: Hey, that's great.

JANICE: Bummer.
-Ah, ha-ha-ha.

-Well, there's our first hit.
KERMIT: Yeah.

-How about we eat? Come on, let's go.
FLOYD: Ooh, I'm already there.

DR. TEETH: Come on. Sounds good.
-That didn't help. Jeez.

PEPE:
Nuts?

KERMIT:
But, Piggy.

ZOOT:
Whoa!

KERMIT:
Hmm.

PEPE: And, well, you know,
we would love to go to the North Pole

PEPE: That's very funny.
KERMIT: Right.

PEPE: The flying unicorn in the shop.
KERMIT: Very sensitive.

PEPE:
Because a unicorn is not real.

RIZZO:
Yeah, but they don't go to shops either.

KERMIT: I'm certain that luck
Will be on our side

PEPE: What are you, nuts?
RIZZO: Talk to the frog.

PEPE: I got some cashews.
-Give us a minute.

FOZZIE:
There's some change here in the seat.

WOMAN: (OVER PA) Francis Osmont.
Mr. Francis Osmont.

MAN:
Thank you for flying Sky Smiles--

PEPE:
"North Pole Airlines"?

-Can we get on the next flight?
JOY: Mm-hm.

-Kermit the Frog.
KERMIT: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

-You okay?
PEPE: Great.

RIZZO:
Hey, hold up there.

KERMIT: Everybody got your tickets?
MEANY: I don't know what it is,

GONZO:
Say cheese.

KERMIT: Where--? Where is Gonzo?
Gonzo, come on.

GONZO: Who cares.
-Santa Jaws. Wocka, wocka!

-What happened?
BEAR: Well, sir,

-Especially ones that are that bad.
KERMIT: What?

MEANY: (OVER RADIO) Bear?
-Hold on, guys. Hold on.

-Yeah, Vinnie?
MAN: Yeah, Frank?

RIZZO: Oh, boy.
-So tell me.

FOZZIE: Yeah.
-Please! Ha.

-Yes, very.
FOZZIE: But, sir,

-for Santa Claus.
GONZO: Yeah.

-Well, there's always time to change.
RIZZO: Yeah.

GONZO: Yeah.
-What?

GONZO:
Okay.

-Move! Move!
GONZO: Come on. Let's go.

KERMIT: Well, this is Gate 5
but there's nobody here.

RIZZO:
I don't know if I can hold on any longer.

PEPE:
I don't know if I can scream any longer.

GONZO:
Okay, one.

PEPE:
That's it! That's it!

PEPE:
Thank goodness I landed on your body.

KERMIT:
You okay, Fozzie?

FOZZIE: I think so. You?
KERMIT: Where's Gonzo?

KERMIT:
Don't worry, Gonzo. I'll get you out.

KERMIT:
Gonzo!

-FOZZIE: Hmm?
-What's Kermit doing?

RIZZO: My nose is frozen.
-Where the heck are we?

GONZO: Oh, yeah.
FOZZIE: Ah. Oh, and look.

FOZZIE: Come on. Come on.
PEPE: This is ridiculous, okay?

GONZO: Let's go, Pepe.
-Wait a minute. What's my hat?

RIZZO:
Yeah. Maybe he's got something to eat.

FOZZIE:
Wait up, guys.

PEPE:
Whoa. Santa got a pretty big house, okay?

RIZZO:
Well, he's a big guy.

-You-- You mean he's gone?
ELF: I'm sorry.

KERMIT:
Mm-hm.

PEPE:
Oh, come on.

SANTA:
Ho-ho-ho!

RIZZO:
Oh, look. Santa, Santa, Santa!

SANTA:
Well, of course there is.

RIZZO: Oh, boy.
-Welcome aboard.

-Oh, rapture.
KERMIT: It's you.

-Come on, Kermit.
KERMIT: Okay.

KERMIT: Okay.
SANTA: I should say so.

GONZO:
Yeah.

SANTA: Bye-bye, Joy.
GONZO: Bye, Joy.

GONZO:
Ha-ha-ha! Yes! Wow! Yahoo!

FOZZIE:
Wow, look how high we are.

SANTA: Isn't this marvelous?
GONZO: It's so cool.

KERMIT: Why not, Pepe?
PEPE: Um...

-Deep down, I'm a really sensitive prawn.
SANTA: Ho, ho!

-Well, of course you are, dear boy,
PEPE: Yeah.

SANTA:
Shall we look at this letter?

-Will you read it, Kermit?
 KERMIT: Absolutely, sir.

GONZO:
Yeah.

-"Dear Santa..."
CLAIRE: Dear Santa,

GONZO:
Shh, shh, shh!

-Hey, Mommy.
 MOM: What?

KERMIT:
Come on, guys. Single file.

SWEETUMS:
She's putting newspaper down.

GONZO:
Hey, Merry Christmas.

BUNSEN: Where's the little boys' room?
-The what?

SWEDISH CHEF: Want a cookie?
-Merry Christmas, little girl.

SCOOTER: Merry Christmas.
-No, we have a turkey.

-What?
ROWLF: No, no, no.

RIZZO: She's a little nervous.
RAT: A little?

GONZO: Merry Christmas.
-Here's to you frog.

KERMIT:
Hi, Dr. Teeth.

BUNSEN:
Mmm!

MUPPET 1: What?
KERMIT: Come on.

MUPPET 1: Oh, boy. Yeah, it's the snow.
MUPPET 2: Snow, snow.

KERMIT: We're gonna have
a white Christmas after all.

ROBIN: Happy holidays, everybody.
-Hey, will you keep it down?

ALL: Happy holidays.
KERMIT: Yeah.

PIGGY:
Oh, Kermie.

MUPPET 3: There's some pigs
On the table. Has anybody seen...?

KERMIT:
The holiday's here.

FOZZIE: Claire's mom,
can you take a picture of all of us?

GONZO: Come here.
Come here, guys, come on.

-How was that?
MAN: That was nice.

WOMAN:
Cut.

GONZO:
Cool.

GONZO:
Go.